One set of parents helping the other isnt

Has anyone had this situation come up. One set of parents are giving money to help make the payments on the hall. The other set of parents refuse to give money until the actual time of the wedding, they are refusing to pay for the wedding but say they are giving the money as a gift. If this has happened to anyone how did you break the news to the parents who were giving the money and how did they react?

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

I would try not to make an issue of it, each parent gives what they can. Sometimes we may think we know the financial situations of parents but when it comes down to it we really have no idea. Let each set of parents contribute what they wish and let that be the end of it. I think if it gets harped on, it will become a bigger issue amongst everyone. Hope that helps and that i didn't come off the wrong way.

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

We only have one set of parents (mine) who are going to pay for the wedding.
FH is trying to talk his parents into the honeymoon, since they aren't offering at all for wedding costs. I'm hoping my parents can talk his parents into helping.

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

I really don';t think it should matter to the set of parents who are paying. if they're paying I[m assuming it's from the goodness of their hearts, and that isn't dependent on anyone else giving. And if theother set of parents would rahter give you a gift later, then that's fine, too. maybe they'd rather give you money to help you get started, etc. Just hang in there

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

yea some people just cant afford to help. My parents are doing what they can and so are FH's but we are pretty much paying oursleves... why does one have to know what the other is paying ya know?

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

You could let them know that the gift after the wedding would help towards the wedding and see what they say.

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

In my case my FH's family is giving more than my side of the family. I tell ya i am so disgusted with my parents at this point. But i'm not going to let that kill my happiness.

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

Both sets of our parents can afford but I know his wont offer because we are being silly having this wedding and they wont even talk to us about it, literally get up and walk out of the room(His brother got married last may and they helped alot and got told by the ingrate they should've). My dad's gone and my mom can afford too but I don't think she will she's too busy getting my sister set up in an apartment for college and paying her car payment and insurance oh yeah and a Senior trip to Europe and a Spring Break trip to Mexico, so I don't think that'll leave me with any hope but atleast she listens to the ideas I have for my wedding and seems enthuised.

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

My family is helping us so much. Everytime we turn around they are giving us money. FH family has none nothing. They just keep spending their money on their EBAY collection. It drives me nuts. I hate it but I guess there is nothing you can do about it.

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

Keep in mind that some people are VERY OLD SCHOOL and believe that the bride's parents pay for the wedding, not the FH's parents!! I was in that situation 8 years ago with my ex!!

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

What if you and your FI chip in extra and use FI's parents gift money towards a new home?

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

Yea my parents are helping A LOT. FI's parents aren't really giving too much. They are from upstate and weddings don't cost the same there as here. So they are giving us the same thing they gave FI's brother for his wedding. That was also 10 years ago.
I'm paying for everything else for wedding, and FI is paying for HM.

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

this is my problem - financially speaking, i think my parents are more well off then fh's parents. don't get me wrong, my last name is not Rockefeller and i am paying for most of my wedding. and both sets of parents work, its just that his mom only 'works' p/t and my parents work full time. now onto the problem, i know that my parents will give us x amount for the wedding, ie. 1k. and i am very happy with the amount, because it will most likely cover invites and dj or flowers and invites, whatever you get the point. so i told fh to ask his parents for the same amount (this was actually my dad's idea, ask both familys for the same amt.) so he never did. but we are still over a year and a half away, and i don't have the $$ from my parents yet either, not a big deal, i don't need it right this second. so, i keep hearing from my fh's parents these words, 'you know we're going to help you with the wedding right' and 'we're going to TRY to help you with the wedding' W T F!!! can you help me or not??? i feel like they have all this time to put the $$ aside and when the day comes, its already available. i have such issues with this you cannot even believe. maybe i am selfish, but i don't see it that way. i see it like if this is how you want to help, here is how you can do it. sorry so long, but once i get started....

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

I completely understand. My parents are paying for a good amount of the wedding. While is family hasn't offered to pay for anything at all. It is extremely frustrating. Especially since I am the 4th girl in the family to get married and FH is an only child.

Re: One set of parents helping the other isnt

I guess Im the oddball.. I just dont see how anyone could actually EXPECT money... Im mean it is a gift right? Why wouldnt you just be grateful for that?

Im not directing this at anyone in particular I just would never think like that....

I hope everything works out for you guys.