Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

My friend who I met through school a few years ago started dating my brother. They've been together for 4 1/2 years now. She's in the BP but now they are breaking up. Since they have been dating our friendship has changed drastically. When she would call I know she wasn't calling for me. When I got engaged she wasn't happy for me and was completely JEALOUS and would fight with my brother b/c of it. She would make negative lil comments to me about everything and I hated it. Everytime I tried to talk wedding with her she'd totally blow me off and talk about hers HELLO YOU'RE NOT EVEN ENGAGED!! I've even gotten to the point that when she was at my house my mood would totally change b/c She was there. So now that they are breaking up (in her mind taking things slow) do I still keep her in the BP even though it's my brother's ex or just have her as a guest? I can't stand her most of the time but she actually is a big help when it comes to things.

OOH what to do? lol

(sorry about the other post I hit post reply by mistake lol)

Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

Plus my FH can't stand her b/c of the whole thing about her being jealous of me. Let me elaborate a lil more on the jealous thing. I got engaged in Vegas. When I came home she came over that nite . You think she was a friend and would run in the house looking for me to congratulate me and want to see the ring..NO!! I had to go down to see her. When I went down stairs she didn't even acknowledge me I had to say hi to her and ask her if she wanted to see my ring. Said "O nice" when she seen it and that was that.

Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

How does your brother feel about it? Is she his escort in the BP? If hes ok with it then I would leave it but if hes not, I would for my brother let her go. It is an uncomfortable situation but its something that you would need to do. I would never have my brothers gf in my BP unless I knew for sure he was going to marry this girl. Even if they are dating for 4 yrs plus- still doesnt mean they will get married, i dated someone for 7 yrs into the 6th yr my ex's sister got married and DIDNOT ask me to be in her BP- i was pissed but whatever I got over it and him the yr later lol

Message edited 1/25/2005 11:13:49 AM.

Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

no! no! no! this woman will make your wedding hell. If this is how she acts when you TALK about the wedding, how do you think she is going to behave AT the actual wedding. You are uncomfortable when she is in the room?! How are you going to feel when getting ready for your wedding?


I think, given the examples you have given, you would be foolish not to eliminate her from the BP.

Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

My brother is actually trying to break up with her but whenever he mentions it she crys..This girl just doesn't get the hint. When I asked him about the BP he said I don't know but if I'm not gonna have her in it then at least invite her. I guess I'll play it by ear and see what goes on with them.

Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

Ok play it by ear, BUT I still wouldnt invite her a guest if they break up- you dont know what she might do to embarrass your family and herself at your wedding, too risky. If worst comes to worse just double up 1 girl 2 guys if you cant replace her. It will work out. But most importantly do what YOU feel best if you have any feeling that she shouldnt be there- dont think of her crying and feel bad or think of your brother- he will understand- then DONT have her at all. Hey this is a good time too if youre looking for an excuse to eliminate her too say due to problems in the relationship and you guys dont need the added stress of being in a BP yadda yadda yadda- you feel its best she isnt in the BP but if things work out youd be more than happy to still have her prescence as a guest or have her do something at the church.

Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

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Posted by girlygrl33

Ok play it by ear, BUT I still wouldnt invite her a guest if they break up- you dont know what she might do to embarrass your family and herself at your wedding, too risky. If worst comes to worse just double up 1 girl 2 guys if you cant replace her. It will work out. But most importantly do what YOU feel best if you have any feeling that she shouldnt be there- dont think of her crying and feel bad or think of your brother- he will understand- then DONT have her at all. Hey this is a good time too if youre looking for an excuse to eliminate her too say due to problems in the relationship and you guys dont need the added stress of being in a BP yadda yadda yadda- you feel its best she isnt in the BP but if things work out youd be more than happy to still have her prescence as a guest or have her do something at the church.

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Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

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Posted by KimmyKim7481

My friend who I met through school a few years ago started dating my brother. They've been together for 4 1/2 years now. She's in the BP but now they are breaking up. Since they have been dating our friendship has changed drastically. When she would call I know she wasn't calling for me. When I got engaged she wasn't happy for me and was completely JEALOUS and would fight with my brother b/c of it. She would make negative lil comments to me about everything and I hated it. Everytime I tried to talk wedding with her she'd totally blow me off and talk about hers HELLO YOU'RE NOT EVEN ENGAGED!! I've even gotten to the point that when she was at my house my mood would totally change b/c She was there. So now that they are breaking up (in her mind taking things slow) do I still keep her in the BP even though it's my brother's ex or just have her as a guest? I can't stand her most of the time but she actually is a big help when it comes to things.

OOH what to do? lol

(sorry about the other post I hit post reply by mistake lol)

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Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

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Posted by soon2bmrsp06

[screw her
i didn't like her anyway lol

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Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

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Posted by KimmyKim7481

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Posted by soon2bmrsp06

[screw her
i didn't like her anyway lol

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LoL I was actually waiting for you to reply to this.

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Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

JMO...you need to ax her from the BP now. Tell her that with all that is going on with her and your brother that you can't have her. In addition, you don't need to make a decision about inviting her to the wedding for a long time now. I would just concentrate on getting her out of the BP as she sounds a little unbalanced and you don't need the drama.

Re: Another lil problem with the BP (lol sorry need opinions)

I'm with everyone else - you do NOT need her drama. Don't include her and don't worry yourself about it. In 20 years you want to look back on a wonderful stress-free day that was filled with friends who care about you and love you, not some psycho jealous ex-friend who made you feel miserable.

wow...maybe a little harsh, but it's YOUR day...do what will ultimately make you happy.