Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

So my wedding list is already insanely long...we both have huge families.

FH's parents included my FSIL's parents on their invite list and I do NOT want to invite them!!!

A little background:
-FSIL is a witch...she just married FH's brother last July...prior to the wedding I e-mailed and called and asked if I could help her with anything...
-I was not in her wedding (which I really did not want to be part of and was relieved) and she is not in mine
-FSIL has yet to congratulate me on the wedding, has never asked me about planning, etc.
-We see FSIL very rarely...

I really do not get along with her. She is just a nasty person and I have tried to reach out to her many times, and have finally given up.

She has done a lot of sketchy things (told ENTIRE family and sonme acquaintances they were having a baby before telling FH...I overheard her telling someone else!!! And then asks FH to be godfather...so strange!)

Also, I have only met FSIL's parents twice (and once was at her wedding!!)

I am sorry, but I get so crazy thinking about FSIL...it really bothers me that she will soon be my 'family' and she is so cold and nasty...I don't even want to invite her (although I know I have to)...

Do I have to invite her parents though? (we are already cutting some of our friends because the guest list is 280 right now and Riviera's max is 220!!!)

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

It's your wedding and you DO NOT have to invite anyone you do not want to!! You don't even have to explain why, it may start some controversy but I would use the excuse that you ahve to cut people and you barely know them.

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

First you need to ask yourself what does FH want? It's his brother's inlaws ... how does he feel about inviting them or not inviting them ... then from there you can try to figure out what to do.

Personally, I invited my FSIL's parents & her brother. The parents didn't come (moved to Florida a few weeks before wedding and weren't able to come back up) but the brother & his wife came. To me they are family now too.

You really need to gauge what your FH feels and what his parents feel. It isn't like it's your future inlaw's co-workers or something - it's their extended family and they may have (or feel) obligations to their son's/brother's inlaws.

I'd tread carefully on this one personally and until you know what FH/his parents want, I wouldn't open my mouth. It's not just your wedding, it's FH's too.

Good luck.

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

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Posted by Jan05Bride

First you need to ask yourself what does FH want? It's his brother's inlaws ... how does he feel about inviting them or not inviting them ... then from there you can try to figure out what to do.

Personally, I invited my FSIL's parents & her brother. The parents didn't come (moved to Florida a few weeks before wedding and weren't able to come back up) but the brother & his wife came. To me they are family now too.

You really need to gauge what your FH feels and what his parents feel. It isn't like it's your future inlaw's co-workers or something - it's their extended family and they may have (or feel) obligations to their son's/brother's inlaws.

I'd tread carefully on this one personally and until you know what FH/his parents want, I wouldn't open my mouth. It's not just your wedding, it's FH's too.

Good luck.

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Oh shoot, I kind of agree with Jan05. The decision should rest on FH because thats 'his side' of the family. But here's a because I'm not sure thats what you wanted to hear

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

I'm inviting my FH brotherinlaws parents. My FH's parents asked. Remember, if there is a baby in the picture, they probably want to keep good relationships with these people. I would just do it....you won't see them that much anyway, and it takes stress away from your FH.....some people just aren't worth your energy!
hope this helps!

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

It's your wedding and you do not have to, but from what you describe, it's just ONE MORE thing she will be nasty about going forward.

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

I agree that the decision should be FH's since it's his side of the family. Good luck!

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

I have to agree with some of the other girls in that it should be FH's decisions. If he is anything like my FH and says 'it's up to you', just think about whether two more plates will hurt your wedding or hearing about it from her forever that you didn't invite her parents. Which is worse

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

To clarify, FH does NOT want to invite her either and sees that she is evil!

Thank God he does...at first he didn't, but after awhile of watching me repeatedly try to reach out and do nice things for her, he know thinks she is awful too!

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

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Posted by Jamie&MarkSept.'05

To clarify, FH does NOT want to invite her either and sees that she is evil!

Thank God he does...at first he didn't, but after awhile of watching me repeatedly try to reach out and do nice things for her, he know thinks she is awful too!

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But you are talking about inviting her PARENTS, which would be out of respect for your FBIL ... it has nothing to do with how FSIL evil/mean/b!tchy she is. You are mixing up the two issues.
I'm sure FH's parents put her parents on their out of obligation and respect. You are marrying into this family - you cannot control how FSIL treats you but you can be the better person and do the right thing by FBIL & F-inlaws. Whatever that ends of being.

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

I meant to write that FH does not want to invite her parents...

We have so many people we would much rather have there that will have to be cut...to add people we barely know seems ridiculous...

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

Consdering the relationship you have with FSIL-there is no way I would invite them!! You should only be inviting people who you want to be there and its bad enough she has to come you dont need to invite her parents who you hardly know. I voted NO!!!!

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

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Posted by Jamie&MarkSept.'05

I meant to write that FH does not want to invite her parents...

We have so many people we would much rather have there that will have to be cut...to add people we barely know seems ridiculous...

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I completely understand. Just make sure it comes from your FH to his parents when you let them know. I'd hate for you to come off the wrong way, let him take the heat and let him explain the need to cut the list ... good luck - it ***** you have to deal with such a biotch besides!

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

I disagree. - I have a huge extended family and we are all very close. But I would not consider Brian's brother's inlaws MY family (or even Brian's family ) They're HIS BROTHER'S family. - Unless they were close to Brian and I or close to his parents, I see NO reason to invite them

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

to me, they dont count as family enough to be invited...especially if you dont like them

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

Thanks for all the support girls...

I wish FSIL and I could be close, but she is just a cold, mean person.

At least I have 2 wonderful sisters of my own!

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

I say screw em...I wouldnt....I totally hear you on the cutting of the guest list thing. We too are having our reception at the Riviera and are in the process of cutting the list. You have more important people that you would want there. So I say dont invite them.
Hope this helps

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

Why would you invite them? They are not your family - just she is

Re: Evil FSIL & Invites (long)

My sister asked if her in-laws (just married this August) would be invited to the wedding...we ar trying to keep our numbers small and when I said no she asked if you could pay for them...only good thing is that my parents (who cut some of there friends) said that technically the in-laws would have to be on their list and they would rather have more of their friends..
It was sticky for a bit (especially since her in-laws assume they are going ot be invited) but at the end of the day..it is my wedding..as much as it is yours and you do not have to invite them.

But your FH does need to speak with his parents...