FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

ALONE!!!! My FH really hasn't helped with ANY of the planning and its really starting to piss me off. He helped pick out the band and that's it. Meanwhile all my free time and vacation time is spent going to NY, meeting with vendors, etc. Its like a second job.
The final straw came last night. I finally found a free Saturday and a church out here for Pre-cana. We were all set after much research for March 5. Last night I reminded him AGAIN about the date and he was like, oh, I am out of town that weekend visiting my sister before my business trip. I thought that was the following weekend! Sorry...
I am sick and tired of being responsible for this whole affair. The least he could do was remember the date for pre-cana and plan his trip around it.

He was away at a conference last night and I was so angry after he told me this that I started screaming that I am sick of all the wedding crap and no help from him. I know I sounded like a b***h but I really don't care. I finally just said good night and hung up. I still haven't spoken to him.

I know I am overreacting but his attitude was like, so what, we will reschedule. NO, I will have to reschedule since I can't even trust him to do that! I am just sooo annoyed but his attitude about all this.

Sorry so long but I needed to get this out....

UPDATE-Edited to say that Fh is a lucky man- I was able to find a church about 1/2 hour away for the following weekend and we got the LAST spot. He is sooo lucky....

Message edited 2/24/2005 1:02:23 PM.

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Christine! First:

Second, you are NOT overreacting!!! at all...

He has to know how frustrating his actions are for you! Clearly, he does not "get" certain aspects of this (what groom does? until you lose it at them!)

you go ahead and yell and vent - I would be fuming.

HANG IN THERE!

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

I can truly sympathize. My FH is the same way. Anytime I show him an idea I have, he shoots it down. I'm almost at the point of dropping it all in his lap and say, "YOU do it."

Men...

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

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Posted by Bunnymonkey

Christine! First:

Second, you are NOT overreacting!!! at all...

He has to know how frustrating his actions are for you! Clearly, he does not "get" certain aspects of this (what groom does? until you lose it at them!)

you go ahead and yell and vent - I would be fuming.

HANG IN THERE!

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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Hang in there- I dont think men have the brain capacity to understand what is entailed in wedding planning. THere are very few that want to have anything to do with it, take a deep breath and remind him that he has to live with you for the rest of his life and if he doesnt start doing the right thing you will make him miserable

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

do you want me to kick his butt?

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

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Posted by Aga

do you want me to kick his butt?

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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

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Posted by ckgmwedding

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Posted by Aga

do you want me to kick his butt?

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That's my girl! Always in my corner!
How come I rarely see you on here unless I post???I miss seeing you around!

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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Just love seeing your name! I here you on that busy factor- the is my only sanity right now however!

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

...it must be in the air...i am sick of too today...after calling about two dozen shuttle companies i want to scream!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!

i feel your pain christine!

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

I am so lazy on the weekends, I cant motivate myself to do anything lol and I need to start looking for BM dresses we are going to pre-cana on march 5th, should be fun

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

I'm so sorry! FH is the same way, "You call, you do this" Damnit, no, you call a vendor sometimes!

I'd suggest just sitting down with him and planning stuff out, have him write it down in a calander so he has no excuse for forgetting...

You're not overreacting, and feel free to vent anytime. We're here for ya!

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

i guess i should consider myself lucky. i asked him yesterday to get prices for the honeymoon then he even called back to book it. is there anything that he shows an interest in? my fh is good with music, so he wants to deal with the dj. i said cool.

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Oh man, been there, done that.

As a counselor in training I suppose I should say wait until you're not upset and sit down and calmly explain to him what the problem is.

But that doesn't work.

You have to make it very very VERY apparent how much stress you have on you right now with the wedding and whatever else you ahve going on in your personal life (which he obviously should be aware of but sometimes boys need it spelled out for them ). I would start by taking simple, relatively unimportant wedding tasks and, one at a time, telling him that you need him to do it. As soon as he's finished with one "praise him" (kanine training is helpful here ) and ask him to do another.

I am not kidding when I tell you that I went through the exact same thing with FH, saying he of all people should understand how much I have on my plate right now and I NEED him to help me. I did what I wrote above and, although it's still not 100%, it's way better than it was before.

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Christine - I have taken to sending mine DAILY emails (some of them actually have bullet points!) with things like "Don't forget - next Saturday we register, please put the date in your palm pilot." and "Please call your brother in law." It's unfortunate and annoying that we have to treat them like 7 year olds at times like this, but maybe that will help. He actually responds well to email reminders and post it's on the fridge.

if he gets feisty, just say "YOU OWE ME!"
i think he'll know EXACTLY what you ar talking about.

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

My FI is the same way!! He hasn't helped plan a darn thing!!! And to top it all off, I showed him a pic of a boutineer (sp) and he went crazy saying he's not wearing any flower, and neither are his boys!!! Hello, you have been in 3 weddings, and every wedding you wore one!!! He said well its his wedding too, and he could do what he wants!!! NOOOO, not if your not going to help with the planning!!!!


ahhh, I feel better, sorry about the vent

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

Hang in there Christine! Eogara has good advice to follow. Hopefully your FH will come around and realize what a full plate you have and try to pitch in more.

And on your wedding day, I am betting you will think it was all worth it! It is going to be a spectacular day!

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

I totally know how you feel. It's frustrating for me too. Both my sister & mother live OOT, so I feel like i'm doing most of it on my own too. He has been good about coming to the vendors, but I think he's at his breaking point. I still have to make all of the phone calls & do all the research (although I don't mind the "research" I do on LIW!) Oh! I just had an idea - when he gives me a hard time for being on LIW all the time & not paying attention to him, I'll just tell him that he's welcome to take over the planning (now that's a scary thought!) Sorry if I hijacked your post. Good luck!! I hope it gets better for you.

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

iI know how you feel, my FH has been very very uninvolved in all of this. I wish I had advice for you but all I can say is hang in there!!! If it makes you feel bad I haven't done Pre Cana either, I've had to cancel it twice already because of FH's schedule.

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

FH is so annoying...whenever I complain to him about the planning...and him not caring, he tells me to give him a list of what still has to be done and he'll have it all completed in one day . I get so pissed when he says that...I can only imagine what horrid things he would pick .

Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding

You guys are the greatest support EVER!!!! Thanks for making realize that I am not alone in this problem. Your advice was really helpful