Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

dh and i are really ready for a baby. we've been together for 6 yrs, living together for 3. we live in a 2 br 1 ba apartment. the landlord said a baby would be okay in the apartment. dh thinks we should wait until we have a house, but with the market the way it is, we wont realistically be able to buy until the next year or so. i dont want to wait 2 yrs for a baby, but i dont want to be stuck in the apt either. how many you had a house and then baby? any words of advice? i know it is a personal decision, but i am looking for any one to share their experiences.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

I can say one thing -- the baby doesn't care in the least where you live. Personally I think a 2 bedroom apartment allows plenty of room for a new baby -- and its probably easier than a house for when the baby starts moving around (no stairs to worry about, easier to maintain!) I don't see any reason to wait for a house to start a family if you are otherwise emotionally/financially ready!!

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

i agree. we are sooooo not ready for a house, but think of all the kids who are born and raised in the city? they are doing okay...as long as their parents love them!

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

I currently live in a 1 bedroom apartment w/ my husband & 3 1/2 year old son. My son never knew what it's like to live in a house there for doesn't seem to be missing out on anything. We are currently in the works of moving to a 2 bedroom apartment w/ basement. We are unfortunately, not able to buy a house at this time.

I know PLENTY of people who grew up in apartments. If that's all you can afford then so be it. Don't stop your dreams of having children until you can afford a house.

This is all MY opinion!

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

We currently live in a 2 bedroom apt. with our (almost) 6 mo. old. It has been totally fine. I had the same concerns as you too....but the previous poster was right: The baby does not care where you live. A 2 bedroom place would allow you room for all of the baby's gear, etc., and even for the baby to have its own room, which is so nice (although not necessary). Also, an apt. is nice when you have a newborn because you are never that far away from the baby! I will say that I am starting to find it to be a little annoying as we have very minimal closet space and NO storage. He is starting to accumulate so much stuff, and now with things that he has outgrown, etc., we need more space. We just bought a house in NJ and will be moving in May. However I do think we could have stayed in our apt. until we had another baby. In my opinion, waiting until you have certain things is not always the right thing to do....there never seems to be 'right' time for most things. Go for it and good luck!

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

I am not a parent, but I will say that I lived in an apartment with my parents, brother and sister until I was 17! I turned out okay! LOL
It is not the end of the world, but I will say this, I crave to have my own house with a yard because I didnt have it as a child.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

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Posted by Calla

I can say one thing -- the baby doesn't care in the least where you live. Personally I think a 2 bedroom apartment allows plenty of room for a new baby -- and its probably easier than a house for when the baby starts moving around (no stairs to worry about, easier to maintain!) I don't see any reason to wait for a house to start a family if you are otherwise emotionally/financially ready!!

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ditto!

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

I will have a hosue by the time we would consider having a family

**but**

it doesnt matter at all. What matters is the love that baby gets. Plenty of rich kids live in huge houses and get neglected by parents who dont care.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

If you can afford to buy a house and then a baby, more power to you. For us we won't even be close to afford a house anytime soon and our baby lives with us in a one bedroom aparment. Hopefully when she turns one, we will move to a two bedroom aparment. You do what is best for your family according to your means.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

I don't think it's necessary but I will say that if you can't afford it now having a baby is only going to increase your expenses and make it harder to obtain one. I'm not saying you need a house for a baby but if you want the house and the baby I would go for the house first.

I don't want to be a downer but the market isn't looking like it's going to drop anytime soon so if you're close to being able to afford a house within a year I would hold off and get the house first. You can always start TTC before you close on the house.

I did get pregnant while we were still in our apartment and we had decided to stay in our apartment for a year but then we got an incredible deal on our house and we moved.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

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Posted by jantany26

If you can afford to buy a house and then a baby, more power to you. For us we won't even be close to afford a house anytime soon and our baby lives with us in a one bedroom aparment. Hopefully when she turns one, we will move to a two bedroom aparment. You do what is best for your family according to your means.

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this is exactly what our situtuation is going to be come May! We will be in a one bedroom for the first year of the baby's life. Hopefully, when the baby is one we will move into a 2 bedroom. I don't think the baby cares where it lives, as long as it's loved and cared for!

You can alway buy a house later. How long can one wait for a baby? Our bodies are not ment to be fertle forever and you never know how long it will take you to concieve!

So, no I don't thing you need to have a house before the baby. In fact, I am glad we don't have a mortgage now when the baby is about to come. It's going to allow us to be more flexible with our finances and be able to afford a babysitter or for me to work only part-time rather than sticking a 3 months old into a day care.

Good luck!

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

If you are ready for a baby I say go for it. A house is not a necessity. DH and I are living in an apt in Ireland right now and are having our first baby. We will be moving home when the baby is 2 months old and have finally just figured out our living arrangements for when we arrive home. We will be moving into DH's house on Staten Island but it was a rental prior to this, so it needs a lot of work.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

In my opinion you absolutely do not need to own a home before having a baby. If DH and I decided to wait, it would be a good 4-5 years!!! Right now, DH and I live in a 1 bedroom apt, baby due in April and are saving for a house.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

We have a house and I'm very happy that I can bring our baby home to it but I don't think it is a must at all.
I think having a park closeby or a backyard is somewhat of a must but not even so much for a baby but a toddler.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

I grew up in a two bedroom apartment in Queens and I have a brother and a sister. I shared a room with my sister and my brother had his own room. My parents slept on a couch that opened into a bed. My parents only have a bedroom now after all these years.
I got married and my sister moved out and is getting married this year.
It was hard but you do it. I loved my block growing up in Queens and that apartment will always be home to me. My parents have been renting there almost 30 years.
You must make do.
I live in a basement apartment with my husband with 1 bedroom and we are ttc.
I am 30 will be 31 in July and we decided we would not wait until we can afford a home.

Hope this helps

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

you have to start somewhere!!

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

I think it is a personal decision. For us we wanted a house first. It was important to me that we be a bit settled before having a child. Of course a baby does not need 1/2 of the stuff we all have for them nor do they care if they have their own room but I will say that it is harder to stay in one room all together for very long. I think it is not as easy to remain intimate when the baby is sleeping in the same room, and as a couple I think that is important. I am not talking just having sex, I am saying talking late at night..stuff like that.
Molly did sleep in our room for 5 months, in her bassinet. And I did see a difference in our late night talks etc...after she went to her own room.
It is very hard to save for a house in most cases after having a baby. You are out of work for a number of weeks, mostly unpaid. And with the baby comes a lot of new expenses such as daycare, if you work.
But you need to do what is best for you and your husband...not what is right for anyone else.

Re: Do you think it is necessary to have a house before a baby?

I don't think its necessary to have a house at all before the baby. Its nice b/c in a sense you are 'settled' but I live with my husband and our 2 year old son in a 2 br. Apt. And we are just fine. I think at first its actually easier to have an apt/ or small house b/c its so overwhelming and the house can easily become a mess. I can get our apt. Clean in half an hour!
We are lucky b/c with our apt we also have a nice big backyard for the summer, but if we didn't so what there is always relatives and friends houses for that!!