Rehearsal dinner guest list?? Help!!

hi:) My fh and i want to have a smaller more intimate rehearsal dinner with our parties and immediate families. Still there will be about 45-50 people this way. I have a lot of out of town family coming and my parents really want my aunts/uncles/cousins invited as well. I am afraid they will be insulted if they are not all invited. The problem is that the rehearsal dinner will have over 80 people and that's a mini-wedding!! We want to avoid this but I'm not sure how without causing a problem with my family. Let me know your thoughts...thanks:)

Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list?? Help!!

I had this issue with FMIL. She assumed her sister (who's from Vermont) would be invited with her husband and 2 children to the RD. But, like you, just the immediate family and BP totals 42 people. I also have a ton of people on my mom's side who would be coming from OOT and that would in turn make it a mini wedding. She was pretty put off when I told her it was just the immediate family and BP but she got over it... I guess. Not really sure but either way, we're paying for it and cannot afford a RD of 75-80 people so it is what it is. I would just tell your parents that it can't happen and move on. They'll get over it.

Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list?? Help!!

Thanks for the advice. I know I'll have to do this, I just hate to think people will be upset with me at my wedding - It's not even the money as much as us wanting it to be a relaxing evening and not a mob-scene. I guess I'll have to stick to my guns and make everyone just deal with it. It's not like they'll have nothing to do the night before - they can hang out with each other!

Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list?? Help!!

I am doing a very small and intimate RD it will consist of the Bridal party Grooms parents and sister and her son and my Parents andthat is it.

Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list?? Help!!

do you have out of town family though? it's tough since i have many out of towners, and my fh has very few. the rd will be mostly my family if we do it large! was your family accepting of the arrangements? what is everyone else from out of town doing that night?

Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list?? Help!!

I was an OOT guest at a wedding last summer and they kept the rehearsal dinner to just immediate family and bridal party, but they did invite all the OOT'ers to come to the restaurant's bar after dinner for drinks. I appreciated having somewhere to go. Oh, and they didn't pay for the drinks - we just bought our own.

Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list?? Help!!

Jus keep it Bridal Party & parents.. THat's it with the exception of a hand full of OTT..

Re: Rehearsal dinner guest list?? Help!!

You have to pick your own battles when it comes to wedding planning. If this is something your firm on put your foot down. And keep in mind, you do not have to explain yourself all the time. Its your wedding and you should handle it as you see fit Good luck!