Children at the Wedding

My fiance and I decided we would have a 'kid age limit' of 12 and over invited to our wedding. Main reason is that I have a lot of children 10 and under in my family and didn't want a bunch of kids running around. In his family, there is one 5 year old niece (who is not the best disciplined child) and we excluded her as well, thinking it wouldn't be fair to allow her and not the others.

Problem is, my fiance's brother, sister in law AND parents say they won't come unless the 5 year old can come. I think they are being ridiculous and are making this day more about them. My fiance and I are refusing to budge and are at the point where we hope they just stay home after all the fuss they have made.

My fiance and I are paying 95% of our wedding with only MY parents paying the remaining 5% (no contribution is being made by his family at all). Therefore, I don't believe they should have any opinions at all.

Who's wrong here?

Re: Children at the Wedding

No one is wrong - it's about what you want and they should respect that.

It may be too late to do this, but we lied and said the hall won't allow children under the age of 10 because of safety reasons - I knew I was going to have the same problem with certain family members. no one argued it, I set up a sitter at one of the hotels, and everyone is happy.

Have you tried talking to them calmly about it:?

Re: Children at the Wedding

Bunnymonkey's suggestion sounds great. Do not feel like you are wrong for what you want. If they are that selfish to threaten to not share your day with you over a 5 year old, then I say tell them 'You'll miss a lovely wedding then'

Re: Children at the Wedding

they should respect your wishes even if they do not like iyour choices because it is YOUR day! as long as u and fh agree that's all that matters. (especially since they aren't helping out! how can they demand anything!?)
ugh in-laws!!!

Re: Children at the Wedding

You are doing the right thing because if one comes they all have to. I invited all children but only have 2 under 10 to worry about. One is really well behaved and will be 8. The other is 5 and a very big boy for his age as tall as an 8 year old. His mom said no way he will destroy the place without even trying. I think parents need to think about the fact that they also will not have a good time if they are watching their toddlers the whole time. I would try the hall won't allow idea because a bunch of them really don't.

Re: Children at the Wedding

we are paying for the wedding, and am not inviting any kids. However, I know, all those that want to will bring them anyways!!!! It don't matter what I say or do!

Re: Children at the Wedding

its your day....i don't want children at my wedding either....my reason is because any wedding that i ever went to the kids always seem to crowd the bride....and its my day...i don't want to be entertaining someone elses kids....so the only kids at my wedding are my son and my nephew...both under the age of 2 and I hire a babysitter for each....so that my FH and I can enjoy our day

Re: Children at the Wedding

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Posted by May05Bride

we are paying for the wedding, and am not inviting any kids. However, I know, all those that want to will bring them anyways!!!! It don't matter what I say or do!

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I can relate! FI and I has a very BIG BIG figth over the weekend about this! I had an FI's aunt & uncle ask to bring their kids. I have some RSVP cards that include kids after I put ADULT RECEPTION on the invite. Unfortunately, people want to do whats convenient for them and don't care what the bride and groom want.

Re: Children at the Wedding

no one is wrong! It's what u want..

Re: Children at the Wedding

I agree, it should be what you want, but I am learning that weddings are not entirely in our control. To avoid a family feud, we gave in and are allowing FH's neices and nephews (age 3-6) to attend, though we are NOT happy about it. His family spoke up about it after we thought they had agreed to have the kids attend the church and then have a babysitter.

I definitely believe that they are not thinking of us or the kids (the day is going to be basically from 1-11pm and these kids are going to get cranky and will not remember the event after all is said and done), but it was either give in or have the family be very upset. Not a good way to start off a marriage with my in-laws being mad IMO.

Re: Children at the Wedding

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Posted by Nautical bride

I agree, it should be what you want, but I am learning that weddings are not entirely in our control. To avoid a family feud, we gave in and are allowing FH's neices and nephews (age 3-6) to attend, though we are NOT happy about it. His family spoke up about it after we thought they had agreed to have the kids attend the church and then have a babysitter.

I definitely believe that they are not thinking of us or the kids (the day is going to be basically from 1-11pm and these kids are going to get cranky and will not remember the event after all is said and done), but it was either give in or have the family be very upset. Not a good way to start off a marriage with my in-laws being mad IMO.

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I am in the same boat! It is the FI's side that has the kids. I had a big fight with FI over the weekend and I learned too that it is not within our control. I had to give in as well for the kids being there.

Re: Children at the Wedding

you dictate who is invited-no one else!!!!
Im having a child-free event myself.....