| Posted By |
Message |
Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
|
When a female guest is a doctor.....
I am trying to settle something with my sister. When a female guest is a doctor, (MD or otherwise) and she shares her husbands last name, how should the outside of the invitation read. I tend to think that no matter what, the man should always come first despite his or her level of education. What do you guys think?
Choice #1:
Mr. John and Dr. Mary Smith
Choice #2:
Dr. Mary and Mr. John Smith
|
Posted 4/20/05 2:55 PM 
|
| |
|
Bunnymonkey
Feels like home to me...
Member since 6/04 4861 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/11/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Raphael Vineyards
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
My sis is a doc, and I put her name before her husbands. Probably to piss him off, but I also read it somewhere. Same goes for a minister. I had two female ministers, both of whom got "first bliing" on my envelopes. If you speak to God or heal people, you win. 
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 2:58 PM
|
| |
|
halfpintny
Finally an Andolfi!!!!
Member since 10/04 1581 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Miller Place Inn
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
What do you do with a female attorney? Shouldn't you designate them Esq? Do I put them first?
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 3:02 PM
|
| |
|
SomethingBlu
Enjoying the journey...
Member since 10/04 10523 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A+
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Women always go first!
www.verseit.com has answers on all titles and how to address.
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 3:17 PM
|
| |
|
Marisa M
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/04 734 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Are they married? I addressed my cousin's Mr. Alan K. and Dr. Vanessa S.
I don't think an attorney has to be designated - I'm sure she's a Ms. or Mrs.
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 3:27 PM
|
| |
|
MCDO15
You got Served!
Member since 1/04 4741 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/13/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Giorgio's at Fox Hill
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
not sure when they aren't married but if they are, DR. whom ever goes first
lawers (ESQ) isnt noted
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 3:52 PM
|
| |
|
ChrissynRicky
Board Princess
Member since 2/05 14636 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow - Woodbury, NY
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
In the Knot.com book they explained this in full detail...it's choice #2.
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 4:57 PM
|
| |
|
ChrissynRicky
Board Princess
Member since 2/05 14636 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow - Woodbury, NY
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Posted by halfpintny
What do you do with a female attorney? Shouldn't you designate them Esq? Do I put them first?
Yes, they're first, husband/guest afterwards as Mr. X
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 4:58 PM
|
| |
|
o17range
A native LIer and Mr. 7
Member since 9/04 1487 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/10/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Woodlands
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
I prefer putting the female first--but I also put our Mother's names first on our invites (it wasn't Mr and Mrs Paul D inviting our guests, it was Gail and Paul D). My father is an attorney, as is his partner (obviously) and neither of them EVER use their "Esq" except on legal matters. I also know women Drs who use "Mrs." outside of work....so I think it depends on your guests. Good Luck deciding!
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 5:10 PM
|
| |
|
cindyandkevin
To have and to hold
Member since 2/05 21575 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/10/2006 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Stonebridge Country Club
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
I'm surprised by what etiquette seems to be saying. I would think the man's name should go first, level of education shouldn't have anything to do with it. Esp on wedding invitations?? Just put Mr and Mrs and be done with it. I dunno why some Drs get so uptight about their title, maybe just to show off. I mean, she may be a Dr but she's also a Mrs (or Ms). Let's not forget the importance of that title!!!
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 5:30 PM
|
| |
|
butterfl2878
Board Fanatic
Member since 1/04 532 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/5/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
The Vanderbilt Mansion
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Dr.-----and Mr.------
i read that in Emily Post.
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 6:28 PM
|
| |
|
JBKempf
A Wife & A Mom in the New Year
Member since 12/04 2021 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/31/2005 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Mediterranean Manor
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Posted by cindyandkevin
I'm surprised by what etiquette seems to be saying. I would think the man's name should go first, level of education shouldn't have anything to do with it. Esp on wedding invitations?? Just put Mr and Mrs and be done with it. I dunno why some Drs get so uptight about their title, maybe just to show off. I mean, she may be a Dr but she's also a Mrs (or Ms). Let's not forget the importance
I completely agree with you. Mr and Mrs it is on all my invitations!!!!
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 6:33 PM
|
| |
|
Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Posted by halfpintny
What do you do with a female attorney? Shouldn't you designate them Esq? Do I put them first?
Technically, an attorney is a "Doctor of Jurisprudence". They receive a JD when they graduate law school.
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 7:13 PM
|
| |
|
cindiella
Board Fanatic
Member since 1/05 345 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/15/2007 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Brooklyn!
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Posted by cindyandkevin
I'm surprised by what etiquette seems to be saying. I would think the man's name should go first, level of education shouldn't have anything to do with it. Esp on wedding invitations?? Just put Mr and Mrs and be done with it. I dunno why some Drs get so uptight about their title, maybe just to show off. I mean, she may be a Dr but she's also a Mrs (or Ms). Let's not forget the importance of that title!!!
Not to be rude but I have a feeling the reason why Drs get so uptight about their title is that the "title" which seems just like three letters to everybody else represents a lifetime of learning. Most odoctors have been grooming themselves (and their grades) for their careers since high school - 4 years hs, 4 years undergrad, 4 years med school, more than $150,000 in debt (just for med school tuition) and god-knows-how many years in residency, and then a fellowship, and then you get to be considered a real doctor by your peers. And let's not forget the Continuing Medical Education that goes on throughout a physician's career.
As much as I will be happy to be Mrs. K when I'm married, I will want to be recognized as Dr. K when I'm finished getting my degree and meeting all of the requirements. I think dedicating my life to the profession and to serving the general public's health, I don't think being recognized as doctor is so horrible. IMHO
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 7:34 PM
|
| |
|
Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
I once innocently made the mistake of calling a new PhD. at work "Ms." instead of "Doctor." When she SNOBBILY corrected me, I told her that if she wanted to pull title on me, then she could call me MASTER. I have a couple of degrees too. It was her arrogance that bothered me, not her accomplishments. I have no desire to earn an EdD or a PhD. Does that make my job or my training less worthy of acknowledgement? I don't think so, yet I humbly accept the title "Miss" in front of my name.
Message edited 4/20/2005 10:02:44 PM.
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 10:00 PM
|
| |
|
cindiella
Board Fanatic
Member since 1/05 345 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/15/2007 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Brooklyn!
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Posted by Goldi1021
I once innocently made the mistake of calling a new PhD. at work "Ms." instead of "Doctor." When she SNOBBILY corrected me, I told her that if she wanted to pull title on me, then she could call me MASTER. I have a couple of degrees too. It was her arrogance that bothered me, not her accomplishments. I have no desire to earn an EdD or a PhD. Does that make my job or my training less worthy of acknowledgement? I don't think so, yet I humbly accept the title "Miss" in front of my name.
No, not at all. That is not what I was trying to suggest. If there is a title that you want used and acknowledged I don't think it should be looked down upon by anyone else, as long as your status (whether it be education or relationship) warrants it. People who respond in a snotty manner to the usage of Miss or Mrs. or whatever instead of Dr, well - that's their business. You can either respond or not respond - that is also your choice.
There are plenty of women who get upset when they are a Mrs and they are called Miss. Plenty of women who refuse to be called Mrs after a divorce, even though they still keep their ex's last name. Regardless of what a person's "title" is, there are a lot of emotions and feelings wrapped up in that title. The person's wishes should be respected no matter what it is. I think it's because no one really knows what type of drama or issues they had to go through to earn that title.
So, if you know the female guest and know that she would prefer to be called Mrs., then by all means, call her Mrs. But I'd err on the side of caution and write Dr. Or if you really want to be progressive, address it to Mr. Yadda and Dr./Mrs Yadda! Remember it is your wedding invitation and while the etiquette books are there to guide us, there should be some wiggle room to allow us to personalize and make these things our own.
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 10:28 PM
|
| |
|
Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Posted by cindiella
So, if you know the female guest and know that she would prefer to be called Mrs., then by all means, call her Mrs. But I'd err on the side of caution and write Dr. Or if you really want to be progressive, address it to Mr. Yadda and Dr./Mrs Yadda! Remember it is your wedding invitation and while the etiquette books are there to guide us, there should be some wiggle room to allow us to personalize and make these things our own.
I agree. To err on the side of caution is best. If you are unsure, then contact that person and ask their preference.
|
|
Posted 4/20/05 10:43 PM
|
| |
|
nov04LIbride
Asshatery: Nature or nurture?
Member since 3/04 8138 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/6/2004 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Hard-boiled eggs also have hearts of gold.
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Posted by Goldi1021
I once innocently made the mistake of calling a new PhD. at work "Ms." instead of "Doctor." When she SNOBBILY corrected me, I told her that if she wanted to pull title on me, then she could call me MASTER.
LOL but if anyone ever said that to me I would slap them and say I am no one's servant or slave.
|
|
Posted 4/21/05 9:35 AM
|
| |
|
FrescaBride
Dance Like No One Is Watching!
Member since 3/04 2513 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Woodbury Country Club (10+++)
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
Posted by cindiella
Posted by Goldi1021
I once innocently made the mistake of calling a new PhD. at work "Ms." instead of "Doctor." When she SNOBBILY corrected me, I told her that if she wanted to pull title on me, then she could call me MASTER. I have a couple of degrees too. It was her arrogance that bothered me, not her accomplishments. I have no desire to earn an EdD or a PhD. Does that make my job or my training less worthy of acknowledgement? I don't think so, yet I humbly accept the title "Miss" in front of my name.
I think it's because no one really knows what type of drama or issues they had to go through to earn that title.
Wanting to be called by your title is good but respond to people in a snobbish way, it's just plain rude. Someone who does that has the title but lack personal manners. A title is just a title no matter how hard you have to work for it. Working hard does not grant you the rights to be snobbish and be disrespectful to others.
And this is not directed at anyone..It's just things like this make me upset. Before anything, we are human beings...with titles or not....
|
|
Posted 4/21/05 9:44 AM
|
| |
|
cindiella
Board Fanatic
Member since 1/05 345 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/15/2007 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Brooklyn!
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
I think you *may* have taken my post out of context. Where I responded to the previous post about people answering in a snobby manner, I said that it is your choice to respond or not to respond. If I felt I was being treated in a rude manner ina ny aspect of my life, I would just say something, like the previous poster (Goldi?) chose to do, but another person might just accept that person's rudeness and walk away. Only when I was explaining how people have serious attachments to their title, whether it is to Miss, Ms. Mrs., Doctor, Judge, etc. is when my comment of "You don't know the issues/drama they had to go through to get that title" comes into play.
ETA *may*
Message edited 4/21/2005 10:25:45 AM.
|
|
Posted 4/21/05 10:25 AM
|
| |
|
durso1
Board Enthusiast
Member since 1/04 161 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/4/2004 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Vanderbilt Mansion
|
Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....
I completely agree with cindella..my husband is a doctor and when we were looking over the ornament placecards we made he realized that i did not put the "DR" before his friends name and he made me order new ones because he said they earned that title through years and years of hard work..
|
|
Posted 4/21/05 11:31 AM
|
| |
|
