Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....

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Posted by halfpintny

What do you do with a female attorney? Shouldn't you designate them Esq? Do I put them first?

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Technically, an attorney is a 'Doctor of Jurisprudence'. They receive a JD when they graduate law school.

Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....

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Posted by cindyandkevin

I'm surprised by what etiquette seems to be saying. I would think the man's name should go first, level of education shouldn't have anything to do with it. Esp on wedding invitations?? Just put Mr and Mrs and be done with it. I dunno why some Drs get so uptight about their title, maybe just to show off. I mean, she may be a Dr but she's also a Mrs (or Ms). Let's not forget the importance of that title!!!

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Not to be rude but I have a feeling the reason why Drs get so uptight about their title is that the 'title' which seems just like three letters to everybody else represents a lifetime of learning. Most odoctors have been grooming themselves (and their grades) for their careers since high school - 4 years hs, 4 years undergrad, 4 years med school, more than $150,000 in debt (just for med school tuition) and god-knows-how many years in residency, and then a fellowship, and then you get to be considered a real doctor by your peers. And let's not forget the Continuing Medical Education that goes on throughout a physician's career.

As much as I will be happy to be Mrs. K when I'm married, I will want to be recognized as Dr. K when I'm finished getting my degree and meeting all of the requirements. I think dedicating my life to the profession and to serving the general public's health, I don't think being recognized as doctor is so horrible. IMHO

Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....

I once innocently made the mistake of calling a new PhD. at work 'Ms.' instead of 'Doctor.' When she SNOBBILY corrected me, I told her that if she wanted to pull title on me, then she could call me MASTER. I have a couple of degrees too. It was her arrogance that bothered me, not her accomplishments. I have no desire to earn an EdD or a PhD. Does that make my job or my training less worthy of acknowledgement? I don't think so, yet I humbly accept the title 'Miss' in front of my name.

Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....

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Posted by Goldi1021

I once innocently made the mistake of calling a new PhD. at work 'Ms.' instead of 'Doctor.' When she SNOBBILY corrected me, I told her that if she wanted to pull title on me, then she could call me MASTER. I have a couple of degrees too. It was her arrogance that bothered me, not her accomplishments. I have no desire to earn an EdD or a PhD. Does that make my job or my training less worthy of acknowledgement? I don't think so, yet I humbly accept the title 'Miss' in front of my name.

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No, not at all. That is not what I was trying to suggest. If there is a title that you want used and acknowledged I don't think it should be looked down upon by anyone else, as long as your status (whether it be education or relationship) warrants it. People who respond in a snotty manner to the usage of Miss or Mrs. or whatever instead of Dr, well - that's their business. You can either respond or not respond - that is also your choice.

There are plenty of women who get upset when they are a Mrs and they are called Miss. Plenty of women who refuse to be called Mrs after a divorce, even though they still keep their ex's last name. Regardless of what a person's 'title' is, there are a lot of emotions and feelings wrapped up in that title. The person's wishes should be respected no matter what it is. I think it's because no one really knows what type of drama or issues they had to go through to earn that title.

So, if you know the female guest and know that she would prefer to be called Mrs., then by all means, call her Mrs. But I'd err on the side of caution and write Dr. Or if you really want to be progressive, address it to Mr. Yadda and Dr./Mrs Yadda! Remember it is your wedding invitation and while the etiquette books are there to guide us, there should be some wiggle room to allow us to personalize and make these things our own.

Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....

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Posted by cindiella

So, if you know the female guest and know that she would prefer to be called Mrs., then by all means, call her Mrs. But I'd err on the side of caution and write Dr. Or if you really want to be progressive, address it to Mr. Yadda and Dr./Mrs Yadda! Remember it is your wedding invitation and while the etiquette books are there to guide us, there should be some wiggle room to allow us to personalize and make these things our own.

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I agree. To err on the side of caution is best. If you are unsure, then contact that person and ask their preference.

Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....

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Posted by Goldi1021

I once innocently made the mistake of calling a new PhD. at work 'Ms.' instead of 'Doctor.' When she SNOBBILY corrected me, I told her that if she wanted to pull title on me, then she could call me MASTER.

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LOL but if anyone ever said that to me I would slap them and say I am no one's servant or slave.

Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....

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Posted by cindiella

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Posted by Goldi1021

I once innocently made the mistake of calling a new PhD. at work 'Ms.' instead of 'Doctor.' When she SNOBBILY corrected me, I told her that if she wanted to pull title on me, then she could call me MASTER. I have a couple of degrees too. It was her arrogance that bothered me, not her accomplishments. I have no desire to earn an EdD or a PhD. Does that make my job or my training less worthy of acknowledgement? I don't think so, yet I humbly accept the title 'Miss' in front of my name.

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I think it's because no one really knows what type of drama or issues they had to go through to earn that title.

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Wanting to be called by your title is good but respond to people in a snobbish way, it's just plain rude. Someone who does that has the title but lack personal manners. A title is just a title no matter how hard you have to work for it. Working hard does not grant you the rights to be snobbish and be disrespectful to others.
And this is not directed at anyone..It's just things like this make me upset. Before anything, we are human beings...with titles or not....

Re: When a female guest is a doctor.....

I think you *may* have taken my post out of context. Where I responded to the previous post about people answering in a snobby manner, I said that it is your choice to respond or not to respond. If I felt I was being treated in a rude manner ina ny aspect of my life, I would just say something, like the previous poster (Goldi?) chose to do, but another person might just accept that person's rudeness and walk away. Only when I was explaining how people have serious attachments to their title, whether it is to Miss, Ms. Mrs., Doctor, Judge, etc. is when my comment of 'You don't know the issues/drama they had to go through to get that title' comes into play.

ETA *may*