Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

A couple of days ago on Oprah there was a show basically about how children affect a marriage.
One woman had written an article, and in it she wrote that she loved her husband more than she loved her children, and there were lots of mothers there who could not believe that she'd felt that way.

If you have children, do you love them more than your DH and if you are going to have children, how do you think it will affect your relationship with your DH?

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

I love my husband dearly, but there's no comparison to the love you feel for your child!!!

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

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Posted by MrsERod

I love my husband dearly, but there's no comparison to the love you feel for your child!!!

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exactly

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

**lurker posting**
hi just a spinoff question if I may..

does your husband love your kids more that you? thanks!

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

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Posted by Janice

**lurker posting**
hi just a spinoff question if I may..

does your husband love your kids more that you? thanks!

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Hmmmm...interesting question, I'll have to ask him. If I had to GUESS, I think he'd say he loves us the same, but in different ways.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

Well, since my child is not here yet, I have to say that yes, I do love my husband more than my children! But I don't know how I will feel after he's born and I'm sure there are people who love their unborn babies more than their DHs.

I don't know how my relationship with DH will change after Baby arrives...I WISH I knew!! I can only hope that it just gets better.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

To be perfectly honest, my child came from within me, so there is a special bond there - there are different kinds of love, I think, but I would have to say that yes I love my child more.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

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Posted by MrsERod

I love my husband dearly, but there's no comparison to the love you feel for your child!!!

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i have to agree with you! its a different kind of love you feel for your child. a very overwhelming (in a fantastic way) kind of love.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

I love my FH very much....but its so different than the love I have for my son. True I always put my baby before myself or FH....so maybe I do love him more....but does it really matter who you love more...its not a competetion.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

I'd have to say that I love my husband and my son the same amount but not in the same way. My husband is my partner, we support, love, and depend on each other. My son is fully dependent on us, we love him and take care of his needs. He is also a part of us physically. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for my child or my husband. I think having a child has made our relationship even stronger.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

I think I wouln't be able to live without my husband, however, if it came down to saving my child or my husband... no question. My child. I love my husband differently- I love him with every bit of myself, but my daughter- she is a part of me, if she hurts, I hurt- etc. Totally different love.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

I love my FH alot but my daughter there are no words to describe the love I feel for her

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

I saw the show and I think there's a lot more to what the lady who wrote the article was trying to say. The statement she made about loving her husband more than her kids was just part of the article. I haven't read the article, so I don't want to take that one statement and run with it bc I don't know in what context it was written. During the show she talked about the bigger issue that she sees women do when it comes to their children and relationships with husbands.

She said that some women are so 'in love' with their children bc they focus all their energy and time on them and neglect the relationship with their husbands. She said that the only person she is 'in love' with is her husband and she loves her children. The mentality that you can pause your relationship with your husband until the children are older can hurt the marriage in the long run.

She said in her household her husband is an equal partner in rearing the children, so she's not the only one with taking care of them. There's no need for her husband to be second bc they are equally taking care of the kids and their relationship. Most of women on the show put their relationships on the back burner in essance have pushed the husbands away hoping they can come back to it when the kids are older. IMO I think that's wrong.

I didn't get married to pause my relationship for a period of time and then to pick it back up. If that's the way it is then I could have had the kids by anyone and then find the love of my life when the kids where grown. Most good men want to be a part of rearing their children, but sometimes women are so controling and want it done their way they don't let their husbands be a part of it. So when the husband finally gives up, they complain that the burden is all on them.

Does any one have a copy of the article bc I'd really like to read the whole thing. All I know is that it was featured in New York Times 1 or 2 months ago.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

I'd like to say that I love my husband and child the same amount, but I find myself making a very conscious effort to keep our relationship romantic and spontaneous. I think it is very important in the long run, not only for the parents, but for the children.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

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Posted by steph4777

Does any one have a copy of the article bc I'd really like to read the whole thing. All I know is that it was featured in New York Times 1 or 2 months ago.

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i dont have a copy but i know it's called 'truly, madly, guiltily'

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

Her article is also in a book called , Because I Said So: 33 Mothers Write About Children, Sex, Men, Aging, Faith, Race and Themselves

Here is the article:


A mother's controversial confession

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

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Posted by iffer042373

I love my FH alot but my daughter there are no words to describe the love I feel for her

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You got it!

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

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Posted by iffer042373

I love my FH alot but my daughter there are no words to describe the love I feel for her

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I feel the same way. I love my husband and I am IN love with my husband. But there is just a whole different kind of love I feel for my son.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

I read the article and the women comes off as a total wacko...She has her children crying but doesn't go to them because her husband needs his breakfast cooked...stuff like that.

I will not answer the question because I think it is actually very silly. It is NOT a competition. I love Scott very much AND I love my baby more than words can even begin to describe. But there is no comparision...the love is different. I love my mother and my father, my sister, all 3 brothers. I don't have to 'pick one' to love best. I can actually love lots of people all at the same time.

Re: Spinoff on an Oprah show I saw a couple of days ago

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Posted by michele31

I read the article and the women comes off as a total wacko...She has her children crying but doesn't go to them because her husband needs his breakfast cooked...stuff like that.

I will not answer the question because I think it is actually very silly. It is NOT a competition. I love Scott very much AND I love my baby more than words can even begin to describe. But there is no comparision...the love is different. I love my mother and my father, my sister, all 3 brothers. I don't have to 'pick one' to love best. I can actually love lots of people all at the same time.

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I don't think the original poster was asking people to 'pick one' over the other...I think she was just asking about peoples feelings, and how they differ from one another, thats all.