This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

Yes, another vent from me. I feel horrible being the 'whiney' one, but I am feeling like I want to crawl under a rock and stay there.
Yesterday, I get a call from my one of my bridesmaids (the one who told me about my surprise shower because SHE couldn't be there), and she was going on and on and on about her birthday party. At the end of the conversation, she FINALLY asks me (a week and two days late), 'How was yourthing last week?' I was like, um, you mean my shower, then she was like, yeah, whatever. So I just said fine and told her I had to go.
Then she calls me back later to say that she's decided not to come to my bacheloretty party because, 'Afterall, it's a lot of money to take the ferry back and forth.' (she lives in MA). I was like, 'Don't YOU tell ME how much money it is because I'VE made the trip COUNTLESS times to come and see YOU, and you've NEVER in four years come here to see ME. So I KNOW how much money it costs.' Then she said, 'Well, I didn't think this weekend would cost me SO much money.' I proceeded to tell her that I already emailed her a DETAILED list of exactly how much money the ENTIRE weekend would cost, including gas and food, etc., and she said it was all fine. So I told her not to come if it was going to be a financial hardship (meanwhile, she's the first to tell me how much money she has and blah, blah because she's 30, lives with her mom and pays NONE of her bills). So then she says, 'Well, I just think it's STUPID to spend any of this money for just ONE day.' So now my wedding is STUPID to her? ARGH! The conversation was SO much longer, but to sum it up....I've spent THOUSANDS of dollars to go and see her in MA over the last two years. I go all the time to see this girl. She NEVER EVER comes here and she never has offered to buy me dinner, etc when I'm up there. So for her to complain to me about the cost of the trip, after I arranged for her to stay somewhere for FREE while she's down for my wedding. ARGH!!!!!!!!!! I am sending her a check for the cost of her dress and telling her to not come down here for my wedding. She is one of those TOXIC friends who will guilt you into doing whatever she wants, but will never once give of herself. I'm sick of it. I don't need this a month and a half before my wedding.
I'm sorry. I know I was just complaining about my own money situation yesterday, so I probably look foolish complaining about someone else and money, but it's not even that. She's just nasty, jealous and spiteful, and has been ever since she told me about my shower. I just need to get all of these FAKE people out of my life. I have come to realize how few friends I have in this world. I just cannot trust people.

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I definitley would send the check and ask her not to come. You dont need and dont deserve that aggravation! She sounds obnoxious and with planning the wedding you dont need her shiat!

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

Awwwwwww Rachel............



Sounds to me that getting her out of your life would make your life so much easier. The guy who was going to be my DH's BM was like this. Complained about everything, got my IL's to say they would pay for his tux & still tried to get more out of us. Finally DH told him if he wanted to come as a guest he was more than welcome to but he declined Thank God!!!!!


Good Luck!

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

its sad that a wedding is when you find out the true colors of people and who your real friends are. tell her that you dont need any more favors from her!

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

Rachel,

How sad. It sounds like total jealousy and I cannot believe she is being this way a few months b4 your wedding.

I have to agree and say she is a toxic friend and someone that is not there supporting you, but instead bringing you down. You don't need that.

I think sending her the $ for the dress IS the best way to go. (I also think she'll be in shock when she gets it).

Pls. don't let her get the best of you.

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

its sad and frustrating but i think you are doing the right thing by kicking her to the curb. some people are just shallow and think of no one but themselves. and you do have friends

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

Rachel, I'm so sorry your friend is treating you so poorly. You are right - you don't need her in your life. It hurts to lose friends, but in the end, you're better off without her. Remember, it's quality, not quantity.

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

Rachel...I'm so sorry you have to go thru this - NOW especially so close to your wedding date...Do what you have to do to get her out of your hair, and move on...you don't need her phoney BS anymore!!!

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

You have FM!

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. That is really awful of her. Some friendships are one-sided, and I know it hurts when that happens. I think you're making the right decision. You want your bridal party to be your true friends, and the people that will be happy for you and will support you when you need it. Good luck with the rest of you planning, and don't let one bad friend get in the way of your excitement. You're getting married soon!!

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

Rachel,

You are doing the right thing!!! Send her the check for the dress and don't look back.

Go with your gut feeling, I wish I had before my wedding.

This is your wedding and your day, anyone who doesn't see that or tries to make you feel guilty, CUT them off.

You deserve a shower, you deserve a bachorlette sp?? party, and you deserve for everyone to cater to you on the day of your wedding. It's a once in a lifetime event and you deserve to enjoy and cherish your day.

I so, so regret trying to make everyone else happy. I was lied too by my family which caused stress and anxiety on our wedding day because they didn't want to be inconvenienced. I will never, ever, forget what they did!

It is you and JT who everyone needs to make happy.

You are not whining. GO WITH YOUR GUT AND CUT THE PEOPLE OFF WHO MAKE YOU UNHAPPY!!! They are not worth it.

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

Thank you so much girls for the responses and the FMs. I was feeling guilty about telling her to hit the road, but I'm feeling a lot better about it now. For once, I need to do what I KNOW is right. I always give people too many chances, and this girl's chances ran out a LONG time ago. I will let you all know what happens after I speak to her. THank you SO much again

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

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Posted by lvdolphins

I am so sorry you are going through this. I definitley would send the check and ask her not to come. You dont need and dont deserve that aggravation! She sounds obnoxious and with planning the wedding you dont need her shiat!

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i agree. its awful to do and will prob end the friendship but if she's always been toxic ... you dont need it

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

I swear, this is why I 'limit' my friends. You'll know who the true ones are ( I say this after I missed your friggen shower! ) and the others dont deserve your time or energy.

I am sorry that she's doing this to you. You, of all people, do not deserve it. Sounds like it's time to cut this one loose.

Re: This just isn't my week. LONG LONG vent.

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Posted by The Original 2nd-time-around

I swear, this is why I 'limit' my friends. You'll know who the true ones are ( I say this after I missed your friggen shower! ) and the others dont deserve your time or energy.

I am sorry that she's doing this to you. You, of all people, do not deserve it. Sounds like it's time to cut this one loose.

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YOU are one of my REAL friends. She didn't even bother to come to my shower OR pay my sister for the gift that they all went in on. AND, this is the girl who told me when my shower was back in January. She's just spiteful and petty. Stacy, it is because I have friends like YOU that I know I don't need this girl I used to think that all people were like her, so it's good to know they're not.