My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

One of her bridesmaids found out that she's 2.5 months pregnant last week. She will be 8 months pregnant for the wedding. DO you think she should still be in it? Do you think it will be too much for her to handle? Should she ask her to be part of something else that's special like do a reading at the church, etc.? This was a suprise by the way, not something planned...

SHe's already asked her if she still wanted to be in it, and she says yes. But she doesn't think that she realizes the full extent of what's about to happen to her...

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

I say if the girl already said she still wants to be a BM, then she should be...I would be hurt if I was that girl and my friend told me she no longer wanted me to be a BM...

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

I agree. I'd tell Janine to sit down with her BM and explain she understands if she would rather not participate as a BM. If she still wants to do it - let her.

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

I had a BM get preggers by surprise during the planning. She would have been 8 months pg at the wedding. At first we both said yes, no big deal. Then we both sat down and discussed it a little further and realized that in our case, it was best for her not to be in the wedding.

It was the week that the gowns were to be ordered, she had no idea how big she was going to get, there were no good maternity BM gown options available in the color and fabric I wanted, my family had issues with her being unwed and pg (she's my cousin), and lots of other things.

Though I do miss her being in my BP photos, it was truly the right decision for us. So many things happened in that time and on the day of that we know it would NOT have been the best idea for her to be in.

First of all she got really big and the gown we were going to get her NEVER would have worked - it would have looked ridiculous. Second, it was such a long tiring day and she was with us for most of it but her poor feet got SOOO swollen she couldn't walk and had to put them up for a few hours, she was tired as hell, and she herself told me that she felt so unattractive at this point in her PG that she was thankful she didn't have to be in BP pictures like that.

Just some things for your friend and her BM to consider and maybe discuss.

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

That's what I figured too... I don't think you really realize how bad it's going to be until you really are huge, swollen and uncomfortable. At 2 and half months, everything's fine and dandy, it's later down the road when things really change. It's her first baby so I don't think she realizes what she's in for.

By the way, they already ordered their dresses too!

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

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Posted by Jamie&MarkSept.'05

I say if the girl already said she still wants to be a BM, then she should be...I would be hurt if I was that girl and my friend told me she no longer wanted me to be a BM...

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i agree

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

I am going to be almost 8 months at the time of my cousin's wedding and I am also a BM. I don't think it is a big deal, I did ask my cousin if she minded having me since I am going to be so big! She didn't and I don't think being pregnant will hinder my responsibilities as a BM, except maybe I won't be able to go out and get blasted for her bachlorette. We plan on spending the day at the spa!

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

I have the same issue with one of my BM. SHe will be 5 1/2 months preggo at my wedding... SHe just found out. So I gave her the option... she says she still wants to be in the BP. THats as of now.... we will see...

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

I just found out that two of my BM will be very pregnant at my wedding. I say if it doesn't bother them then it really shouldn't be an issue.

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

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Posted by jersee3380

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Posted by Jamie&MarkSept.'05

I say if the girl already said she still wants to be a BM, then she should be...I would be hurt if I was that girl and my friend told me she no longer wanted me to be a BM...

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i agree

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My SIL just had her wedding at nearly 8 months and was fine as a bride, even more on her feet than a BM would be. I say let her decide herself.

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

I agree I'd be hurt if I was told I wasn't wanted becasue I was pregnant...even if she has to get a different dress...same color...

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

My MOH found out she was pregnant in April. This would have made her 8 months pregnant by my wedding. The thought of not being part of the wedding didn't even cross either of our minds. If she thought she couldn't handle it then that would be OK I would have no problem. We went to the bridal shop and they said they could put a panel in the dress, getting bigger would not be a problem. Unfortunately she lost the baby. I am so grateful that these girls in my bridal party are a part of my day. I asked them all for a reason. To ask someone to step down because they are PG IMO would be insulting to them.

Re: My friend Janine is getting married - she wanted me to ask you guys something

I think your friend should leave it up to her BM whether or not she wants to still be in the BP. I think they should sit down and discuss what really is going to happen and let her decide. I would be upset if I got pregnant and then the bride did not want me to still be part of her day. JMO