I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

My mom has ( well had) a good friend who she asked me to invite to the wedding. She was one of the first people to rsvp. She rsvp'd yes for herself and her husband.

When my shower invites went out she called my mom to say she couldn't make it but would definitly be at the wedding.

Anyway they were a no show. My mom was having such a good time at the wedding she didn't even notice till the end of the night.

This lady never called, emailed my mom nothing. Never even sent us a card saying congratulations sorry we couldn't attend.
( we paid for our wedding on our own so DH and I paid for her and her husbands uneaten plates)

That was in February. My moms birthday is in April and she gets a birthday card in the mail. The woman didn't even put her return address ( I guess she didnt want my mom to know it was from her until she opened it, but my mom recognized the handwriting right away and had it 'return to sender'
She is sooo mad at her friend she dosent even want to speak with her now. My mom said if there was a good excuse/reason she wouldnt care. They could have at least called to apologize.

I know its not really my fault but I feel horrible about it

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

Don't feel bad Maxine. It's not your fault that your moms friend did such a rude thing to not only your mom, but you and your DH. I cannot believe people actually have the audacity to do something like that to other people, without even an explanation.

eta.. I think your mom did the right thing by returning the card. (hi-5 mom!!)

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

I wouldn't feel bad about this.
Your mom is better off without a friend who can't be honest with her.

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

It's not your fault at all. This person is so rude. I would be upset as well if I was your Mom. Here are some hugs.

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

Thanks everyone!! I have just been feeling guilty over it since my mom told me about the birthday card thing...

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

that is so NOT your fault! I am sorry that your mom's friends is causing you to feel that way.

and I have to say, I don't blame your mom 1 bit for returning her card or for being pissed. what she did was WRONG!

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

Wow, your mom actually returned the card the card to her? I agree her friend was wrong not to call her or anything, however I can't see myself returning a card back to sender (that's probably because I'm too lazy to go to the post office).

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

My mom has ( well had) a good friend who she asked me to invite to the wedding.Anyway she was one of the first people to rsvp. She rsvp'd yes for herself and her husband.

When my shower invites went out she called my mom to say she couldn't make it but would definitly be at the wedding.

Anyway they were a no show. My mom was having such a good time at the wedding she didn't even notice till the end of the night.

This lady never called, emailed my mom nothing. Never even sent us a card saying congratulations sorry we couldn't attend.
( we paid for our wedding on our own so DH and I paid for her and her husbands uneaten plates)

That was in February. My moms birthday is in April and she gets a birthday card in the mail. The woman didn't even put her return address ( I guess she didnt want my mom to know it was from her until she opened it, but my mom recognized the handwriting right away and had it 'return to sender'
She is sooo mad at her friend she dosent even want to speak with her now. My mom said if there was a good excuse/reason she wouldnt care. They could have at least called to apologize.

I know its not really my fault but I feel horrible about it

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This is horrible but I thought you were going to say that she died! This is just rude and strange by your mom's friend.

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

Thats so rude....Why wouldn't she call and apologize afterward?

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

Maxine,

Neither you or your mom did anything wrong. If there was a genuine emergency that justified the friend's absence she should have called. The 'friend' is in the wrong here and your mom is better off knowing she is not a genuine friend.

A 'friend' did somehting similar to me years ago. When my Dad had a stroke it took her almost two months to call me and we were very close friends (or at least I thought previously). I look at it this way, I didn't waste one more day of my life thinking she was a true friend. When she did finally call, I went crazy on her.



to you and your mom.

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

People can be very rude. And at such a stressful time in our lives - planning a wedding - people are even more thoughtless.

Just last night, FH asked me how many of the people who RSVP'd yes won't actually show up. I hope no one decides to skip it.

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

I dont think you should feel bad at all - the lady is the one who did something wrong!

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

That is a really weird thing to do...and rude of course. I am so curious as to why she didn't show up! Just the curiosity alone would make me have to call her to see what happened...and to make her explain! It's probably not worth it to your mom because she's so appalled and hurt by the action, but I can't help but wonder what in the world would make someone do that!!!???

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

how is this your fault? sounds like her friends fault not yours

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

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Posted by littlebookworm4

how is this your fault? sounds like her friends fault not yours

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Agreed, this was not your fault!

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

Don;t feel bad I'm sure is easier said than done. How does your mom feel about losing this friend? Where they very close? Maybe, just maybe this lady has a 'reasonable' excuse as to why she didn't come. Maybe she was explaining in that card. Are you interested in knowing why she was a no-show? Maybe you can call her up and hear her out, if its bs then good riddance. if the reason is legit, then maybe she and your mom can patch things up.

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

It has nothing to do with you - your mom's friend did a really mean and terrible thing. I'm sorry you have to go through this

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

My mom has ( well had) a good friend who she asked me to invite to the wedding. She was one of the first people to rsvp. She rsvp'd yes for herself and her husband.

When my shower invites went out she called my mom to say she couldn't make it but would definitly be at the wedding.

Anyway they were a no show. My mom was having such a good time at the wedding she didn't even notice till the end of the night.

This lady never called, emailed my mom nothing. Never even sent us a card saying congratulations sorry we couldn't attend.
( we paid for our wedding on our own so DH and I paid for her and her husbands uneaten plates)

That was in February. My moms birthday is in April and she gets a birthday card in the mail. The woman didn't even put her return address ( I guess she didnt want my mom to know it was from her until she opened it, but my mom recognized the handwriting right away and had it 'return to sender'
She is sooo mad at her friend she dosent even want to speak with her now. My mom said if there was a good excuse/reason she wouldnt care. They could have at least called to apologize.

I know its not really my fault but I feel horrible about it

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Please dont be upset - if she really was a friend to your mom she never would have done that to you guys. The same thing happened to my mom at my brother's wedding - she invited her 'so-called' close friends, they are a married couple and they called the Temple right before the wedding was going to begin, had my mom paged, to tell her that they could not make it to the wedding - CAN YOU BELEVE THAT? No card, no gift, no nothing!!! Needless to say - she tried to find out what happened, but she has not really heard from them since...People are strange!

Re: I Feel really bad. B/C Of my wedding my mom lost a friend...

I would call them if I was your mom right after the wedding. Now it's after the fact, but I would want to know what happened.