Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

I have a friend from college who CONSTANTLY refers to my wedding as 'walking the plank' I mean, everytime she mentions it! She's single and not really interested in marriage. She also knows FH because he was her math tutor in college

Nontheless, I feel like she isn't showing proper 'respect' (for lack of a better word/phrase) for the fact that FH and I love each other and are making an important committment to each other. Just wondering if anyone else has a friend like this or any advice on how to handle the situation? Thanks a bunch

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (semi-vent)?

I have a friend like this but it sorta comes from plain ole jealousy, she is still single and a few year's older than me, since we started dating she hasn't been 'happy' for me, since she feels I spend too much time with FH and not enough with her... oh well.. I don't think there is any real def way to deal with it, I try to talk to her about it but she gets defensive, so I let it go..

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (semi-vent)?

I was friend with someone like this. FH and I got engaged after 4 months together. When this girl found out, she just stopped talking to me or would ignore me. She had been with her now FI for about 6 months at that time. She got engaged about 2 weeks shy of her 1 year anniversary and was carrying on about how she got engaged in less than a year and now she's all friendly with me again. With some people it's just jealousy. It's so ridiculous.

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (semi-vent)?

One of FH's co workers constantly refers to him as another sucker and tells him the best part of marraige comes after divorce. But he is a little cynical being on wife # 4. I just hope she doesn't hear him or he'll be looking for #5!

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (semi-vent)?

No one's said anything like that to my face. I think the next time she says that you should calmly tell her that she may not mean it but those words are hurting your feelings. You respect her opinion towards marriage but she should respect yours.

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (semi-vent)?

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Posted by David'sbride

No one's said anything like that to my face. I think the next time she says that you should calmly tell her that she may not mean it but those words are hurting your feelings. You respect her opinion towards marriage but she should respect yours.

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Well said!

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (semi-vent)?

i have a friend who is great, except when it comes to being excited about my marriage. she's a little bit of an drag about it and says sassy stuff like your friend.

before the wedding i hung without her less and less...since then she's been better, but her negativity was the reason i didn't chose her to be in the wedding party.

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (semi-vent)?

It's kind of ridiculous -- she even referred to it as 'walking the plank' when she signed the Guestbook on our website! I just don't think she has any sense of what's appropriate. I'm glad that my future in-laws and grandparents are going to be reading this:

'I still don't see anything about the bachelorette party..........! Jenn's going to have to have one night of heavy drinking and giggling before she walks the plank!'

I can't make this stuff up! I'm sure that part of it is that I'm the 2nd one out of our group of friends to get married (but the first was with her boyfriend all through college) so maybe she's not sure how to deal with my life changing? I don't know. In my last email to her, I told her that I prefer to think of it in less horrific terms than walking the plank.

ETA: Forgot the 'tying the noose' entry as well --

'Great website for the tying of the noose, but under events I saw nothing about the Bachelorette Party. If no one organizes it, I may have to step in.'

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

you might just confront her...after a while i'd get sick of her comments---they may be meant in a 'fun' way but they are disrespectful and a little rude. easier said than done, but let her know you value her, but these comments are not needed, they do not add to your joy--maybe frame it in the context that you are sure she has no idea how her words impact you (yea right) that way it takes the fault off of her.

i'd hate to see her say that OVER and OVER at your wedding! how tiresome!

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

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Posted by bluesashbride

you might just confront her...after a while i'd get sick of her comments---they may be meant in a 'fun' way but they are disrespectful and a little rude...

i'd hate to see her say that OVER and OVER at your wedding! how tiresome!

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I agree and I'm generally a very confrontational person but I've tried to take her comments with a grain of salt because she's just completely clueless and thinks of everything in terms of her priorities and what she thinks is important (obviously marriage isn't one of these). In her last email, she mentioned that she was going to try to call me, so I might mention something then if she makes one of her now-standard references to noose-tying or plank-walking. Certainly, this isn't needed or appreciated the month before my wedding. I've been engaged since 9/03 -- she's had enough time to get used to the idea, you know?

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

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Posted by Future_Mrs_B

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You took down that comment?! It was hysterical!

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

I am glad that I am not the only one that has these kind of friends.

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

I have a friend who doesn't make comments about marriage per se, but if she wants to do something and FH and I have some other committment she can't really be a part of, she has some comment about everything being WE, or when am I getting my life back. Since I still do see my friends on a regular basis, I can't say I lost my life, just gained a new dimension to it. She just got divorced, and I think she's jealous either of the relationship ro the time I spend with FH.

We talked about it and it's better, but I still get little zingers now and then. Talk to your friend. You say she doesn't want to get married, but maybe she's jealous of the time you spend with FH like my friend was. At any rate, it's good for her to know you don't find her comments funny at all. Good luck!

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

Sounds like pure jealousy to me.

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

I guess everyone has one of these people in her life. Mine is my MOH.
WHen I asked her to be my MOH she was so thrilled and I warned her it was ALOT OF WORK!!!! She said 'I WANT TO DO IT'
we have been friends for 23 years. And she is just someone who I will always be in my life. But a few months ago things got crazy with my surprise showers plans. and when everything was finally resolved she said to me ' now I know why you wanted to elope...You really should have, this wedding crap is ridiculous!'

Allllll Rightyyyyyyyy then....

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

Two Words.............

PEOPLE S*U*C*K!

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

I'm the first out of my close college friends to get married, and it's been pretty rough for me. I've heard from almost every one of them, 'hey, it's not too late to run away!.' Or, 'if you need me, I'll have the getaway car out in front.' Or, 'you have until the second you say your vows just to throw a huge party.'

Some people...

You can only laugh about it for so long, you know?

Re: Anyone else have a friend like this (UPDATED with my favorite quotes at the bottom)

I would just tell her not to refer to your wedding like that - I am sure she means to be fun about it - but eventually as your wedding nears hearing that stuff is only going to make you nervous - there are a lot of people who don't believe in marriage and see it as if it were a prison or that your life is over - then again these are the same people that never really know what love is or have not been loved that way...