You really find things out about people when you're getting married

So my very good friend calls me last night - we grew up together and she moved to Atlanta last year.

Anyhow, first she tells me how she had a traumatic thing happen, she lost her engagement ring. So her husband went out and bought her a 2 and 3/4 carat emerald cut diamond engagement ring with 2 emerald cut diamonds, one on each side, and, that it's a VVS1 with an H color. I don't know why, but this really made me feel bad. Since I have known her, she has always had everything bigger and better than me. This is just another thing. And for some reason, my FH was jealous about it too. He worked hard and saved for a while to buy me my ring. And he felt bad last night too. Don't get me wrong, my ring is gorgeous and I LOVE IT!

The 2nd thing she tells me is that she may not be able to come to our wedding. Do you believe that? We grew up together! Before I got engaged all she ever said was how she can't wait for me to get married and that she doesn't care how or when, she will be at my wedding. Her hubby got some kind of commercial construction job and it starts a week before the wedding. And since he would have to work weekends too, there would be no one to watch their kids. She told me that she looked into airfare and it would cost $1000 to bring them all up with her and she couldn't afford that. And she has the nerve to tell me about her $30,000 ring?!

I was SO pissed off last night! When there's a will there's a way. I'm still so pissed about it! And to think that I am feeling bad because I made another friend of mine a bridesmaid and left her out. I still didn't tell her. What a joke. I was afraid to hurt her feelings and she tells me she probably won't be at my wedding.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

Hey date twin!!

I hear yah! People suck

I have BM that i really could care less fr right now. And she was my CLOSEST friend!! I havnt seen her since we ordered our dresses LAST JUNE!!!! and she hasnt returned a phone call in MONTHS!!! wouldnt you think a friend would want to be there for you.

well i guess we both learned the hard way!

You dont need it!!! NEither do I!

And our weddings will be BEAUTIFUL without them!!

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

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Posted by pinkstar025

I have BM that i really could care less right now. And she was my CLOSEST friend!! I havnt seen her since we ordered our dresses LAST JUNE!!!! and she hasnt returned a phone call in MONTHS!!!

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ME TOOOO.... But I have to say, I am glad I am finding these things out about people now.

Sorry to both of you girls ! Its a shame we all have to deal with this!

eta.. well it wasnt last June that I last saw her but its been a few months.

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

yea, people do stink!

I had some drama with my mom last week, my youngest sister who is my maid of honor (what a joke) is a complete selfish b***h and now this.

some of the people who are closest to me have really let me down.

oh well, what can you do.

I get to see my dress tomorrow! So at least I am excited about that!

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

I agree, I am really shocked about some of the no's we are getting from people....I have been to all of their weddings, no matter where/when, etc. then there are those people there for you no matter what...

Sorry to hear that.

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

I hear ya dleeny one of my freinds that I was close with when we were little then she moved away for a while and then she came back to town to live. She tells my other friend she is upset because I did'nt make her a bridesmaid. Well you can't please everybody now can you

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

The people closest to me let me down throughout the whole thing - with my mom being completely surprising to me since she is my mom! I found out so many things about people's true characters it's insane - but at least I know!

I'm sorry that your friend seems to care more about money and material things than a life long friendship, in all honesty people like that are better out of your life. I have no idea why, oh why, would she mention the color, cut, clarity and CW - I mean, are you a jeweler? Why should you care? It sounds like she was braggin a bit...and there are people who befriend others who have 'less' than them just so that they could feel better about themselves...but it's just their insecurities being played out. Don't get upset, and tell your fi not to get upset either...the fact that she's bragging shows that there's something about you she wants to 'show up' so it could be that she envies you in some way - or it could be that she's just a jerk.
Don't stress her not coming either...I know it's hard to do, but trust me at one point no one in my family waas coming to my wedding (and this is IMMEDIATE SIBLINGS) but they came around.
Cheer up and focus on all the wonderful things that lay ahead for you...congratulate her, say you'll be sorry if you don't see her but you understand (the party will go on and that day you won't care who's there) and move on!

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

Wow, my post yesterday must have started a trend.

First, your friend is ridiculously self-centered. I know a few people that were all about the size of their ring etc. OK, whatever! Then they couldn't afford a house for the longest time and couldn't stop complaining about it...

I soooooo wanted to say, 'You know that three bedroom, two bath, with the great hardwood floors you want... you ware wearing the down-payment on your left hand stupid...

Maybe we should round up all of these self-centered so-called 'friends/relatives' we have and ship them off to some poverty ridden country where the people have no material posessions but really know how to love and do for one another.

I guess we are all learning who are true family and friends are.

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

I agree with SomethingBlu - why does she have to mention the cut/clarity/size and color?

I dont even know that information about my own ring - all I cared about was that it was from FH and it fit around my short, stubby fingers.

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

I love saying this over and over: WEDDINGS and FUNERALS bring out the 'real' in people.

Don't feel bad! If you want to feel bad, feel bad for HER. People who always want to 'one-up' you are people who secretly admire and envy you (otherwise, why try to 'one-up'?)

You're getting married to a great guy, right? No $30,000 ring can compete with THAT!

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

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Posted by Katherine121

I love saying this over and over: WEDDINGS and FUNERALS bring out the 'real' in people.

Don't feel bad! If you want to feel bad, feel bad for HER. People who always want to 'one-up' you are people who secretly admire and envy you (otherwise, why try to 'one-up'?)

You're getting married to a great guy, right? No $30,000 ring can compete with THAT!

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Ditto !!!!

Just keep in mind - Your Day Your Way
& dont let anything or anyone ruin that

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

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Posted by SomethingBlu

The people closest to me let me down throughout the whole thing - with my mom being completely surprising to me since she is my mom! I found out so many things about people's true characters it's insane - but at least I know!

I'm sorry that your friend seems to care more about money and material things than a life long friendship, in all honesty people like that are better out of your life. I have no idea why, oh why, would she mention the color, cut, clarity and CW - I mean, are you a jeweler? Why should you care? It sounds like she was braggin a bit...and there are people who befriend others who have 'less' than them just so that they could feel better about themselves...but it's just their insecurities being played out. Don't get upset, and tell your fi not to get upset either...the fact that she's bragging shows that there's something about you she wants to 'show up' so it could be that she envies you in some way - or it could be that she's just a jerk.
Don't stress her not coming either...I know it's hard to do, but trust me at one point no one in my family waas coming to my wedding (and this is IMMEDIATE SIBLINGS) but they came around.
Cheer up and focus on all the wonderful things that lay ahead for you...congratulate her, say you'll be sorry if you don't see her but you understand (the party will go on and that day you won't care who's there) and move on!

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what a wonderful post! thank you!! I laughed when you said 'the fact that she's bragging shows that there's something about you she wants to 'show up' so it could be that she envies you in some way - or it could be that she's just a jerk.' - yea, she's a jerk alright.

I started thinking back to other times in my life when I had great news and she always managed to 'rain on my parade'. she is very self centered and selfish. Small minded too. The truth is, we have drifted apart so much over the years. and now that she lives in GA, well, we're drifting apart even more.

Thanks again for what you said

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

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Posted by David'sbride

Maybe we should round up all of these self-centered so-called 'friends/relatives' we have and ship them off to some poverty ridden country where the people have no material posessions but really know how to love and do for one another.

I guess we are all learning who are true family and friends are.

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Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

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Posted by takeoutcook

I agree with SomethingBlu - why does she have to mention the cut/clarity/size and color?

I dont even know that information about my own ring - all I cared about was that it was from FH and it fit around my short, stubby fingers.

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well, because she's been bragging her whole life about how much she has. she has some good qualities... but after our conversation last night... I can't remember what they are.

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

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Posted by dleeny

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what a wonderful post! thank you!! I laughed when you said 'the fact that she's bragging shows that there's something about you she wants to 'show up' so it could be that she envies you in some way - or it could be that she's just a jerk.' - yea, she's a jerk alright.

I started thinking back to other times in my life when I had great news and she always managed to 'rain on my parade'. she is very self centered and selfish. Small minded too. The truth is, we have drifted apart so much over the years. and now that she lives in GA, well, we're drifting apart even more.

Thanks again for what you said

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Dina I'm glad I made you feel a bit better...and since you say that she always tries to 'one up you' well then it's clear - she has issues with you. You have something she'll never get - a real joy for life and class! I just want to add, for hilarity's sake (is that a word? LOL) that my family also lives in GA - all moved there from NY a few years back...and my mom is the most self centered person in the world (I had to ask her 3X if she wanted to see my HM pics after I came back - sorry I botherred her since she was watching TV in my living room!)...so I guess they found a good little corner of the world! But my sister lives there too and is the total opposite, so I said what I said in a joking manner, not all the people in GA are selfish!
And not all of it it's bad...better for you to find out now so that you can avoid her since you'll get very stressed as the day approaches...and a positive (besides marrying your best friend) is that you'll also find out who your true blue friends are!

Re: You really find things out about people when you're getting married

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Dina I'm glad I made you feel a bit better...and since you say that she always tries to 'one up you' well then it's clear - she has issues with you. You have something she'll never get - a real joy for life and class! I just want to add, for hilarity's sake (is that a word? LOL) that my family also lives in GA - all moved there from NY a few years back...and my mom is the most self centered person in the world (I had to ask her 3X if she wanted to see my HM pics after I came back - sorry I botherred her since she was watching TV in my living room!)...so I guess they found a good little corner of the world! But my sister lives there too and is the total opposite, so I said what I said in a joking manner, not all the people in GA are selfish!
And not all of it it's bad...better for you to find out now so that you can avoid her since you'll get very stressed as the day approaches...and a positive (besides marrying your best friend) is that you'll also find out who your true blue friends are!

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