Repost-Need advice on shower issue...SORRY LONG!

Hello ladies.. sorry this is going to be long, but I need to vent and I need some advice. My wonderful matron of honor (who I've been friends with since 6th grade) has been planning my shower with the help of the other bridesmaids. I don't want to know any of the details.. I really want to be surprised. Things have been going really well... but today I found out some thigns from her. I know I am not supposed to find out, but I really feel like I am in a bad posistion. My MOH has two kids and is busy, her daughter had to ahve surgery last week (only four) and she was really busy over the fourth of July weekend-having her in-laws in from out of town. My mom tried calling MOH and then told me MOH wasn't calling her back. I proceeded to explain to my mom that she was busy with the sugery and the otu of towners... then my mom called AGAIN!! I was so embarassed (b/c she told me again!) Then I explained to her the situation again. Finally my mom told FH.. at that point I got angry b/c FH wanted to step in and fix everyting-he really didn't know the whole story. .. needless to say, FH and I got into a fight...

TODAY-my MOH told me that it was taken care of... but that my mom left her some weiord messages and said a comment to her like, you should have called me back, even if you don't have anything done. My MOH said she had a lot done and was insulted taht my mom would say that (MOH tried to contact my mom for a while prior to this incident) MOH started crying today b/c she is afraid my mom is telling people she isn't doing anything etc.. but I told her I knew that she was putting in 150%... other things are happening that I shouldn't really know about.. but MOH told me and now I am really upset and angry ... My mom keeps stepping on her toes.. basically all these people are now getting involved when she alredy had things planned.... after she said she has been tyring to get people involved for a while..

What should I do? MOH doesn't want me to even tell FH... I know I shouldn't be involved, but I am so upset with my mom....

TIA for listening, SORRY it's sooo long!

Any advice would be appreciated!!

Re: Repost-Need advice on shower issue...SORRY LONG!

just stay out of it

my MOH (sis) and mom are doing my shower...and my fed up sis biotched to me that all my BM suck and only 2 girls help with anything and FSILs and FMIL wont help with crap.... and then my mom sai d'its OK..they are fine....the prob was we set up for everyone to meet and help woth some planning and only my 2 friends and MY SIS'S friend showed so they were annoyed...... but my mom says its ok..dont worry...but my sis seems so stressed an annoyed

FH tells me STAY OUT.....you dont know anything.......its a SURPRISE remember......don worry everyone is helping fine.....so i stress and feel bad for my mom and sis....but you know what....
DONT WE HAVE ENOUGH STRESS??
so just dont worry

Re: Repost-Need advice on shower issue...SORRY LONG!

Your MOH seems old enough to handle it herself....but she is under alot of stress with her daughters surgery....i woudl tell mom to give moh some space

Re: Repost-Need advice on shower issue...SORRY LONG!

As a recent bride - I dealt with this stuff as well. I would just stay out of it. IMHO, BM should just keep this stuff from the bride - because what bride wants to know that planning a shower was a nightmare? No one wants to hear bad stuff when people are supposed to be doing something nice for them and about them. Ick. But, now that she's told you, I would just stay away from it, and if mom or your friend bring it up, just say - as nice as you can - hey, you guys are in charge. Maybe you can talk to each other and figure it out? Eventually, they'll get the hint. And, if your MOH is putting in a lot of work, and mom is putting in a lot of work (or worrying ) then you can let both of them know how much you appreciate it later - by thanking them both at the shower for all their hard work. People will hear that. I hope that helps!