mother of the bride dress is ugly!

OK so my Mom and I and one of my girls and my friends mom go dress shopping yesterday...My Mom picked out this dress and I told her I didn't like the color or the beading...when you're dress shopping you have to be honest...My friends mom loved it and the two of them were raving about it so my Mom bought it...left a deposit...I had to tell her today how I felt about it...I want her to look her best for the day and I don't feel this does her justice...I feel bad though...here's a picture of the dress I took while we were in the dressing room...

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

file size was too large...sorry...it's long sleeves...sheer tho...heavy beading and a tan color...not light but on the dark sude...it's a July wedding...am I being mean?

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

I had issues with my mom in terms of what she woudl wear too. When she learned that my BP was wearing navy, she said she wanted to wear a dress she wore to my brothers wedding 5 years ago which was also navy. She had it made because she is heavy and not an easy fit so it cost her almost as much as a wedding dress. Thats her money and her choice. However, I thought that she should not match the BP, rather wear a different or coordinating color and I thought that a different wedding should have a different dress. Mom likes to wear dark colors because of her size. She does not feel comfy in light colors. consider why she may prefer a dark color. Maybe it has to do with size or skin tone.

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

Hm, in all honesty, does your mother like it? Is she comfortable in it? I definitely don't share the same tastes in style as my mom does, but I would be fine without whatever she chooses as long as she loves it herself and is comfortable. Just my thoughts on it.

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

Should my mom be looking for dresses already??? Where did you go?

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

If she feels beautiful in it, just let her wear it. Unless it is the ugliest dress you ever saw, then you should have a talk with her.

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

Thanks for writing...um well she is on the heavy side so I understand being self conscious about oneself...I just think it's an ugly dress...She has tried others on that were more flattering to her...I did tell her how I felt but she said she liked it and so did my Dad...I don't know if she'll switch but if she does I'll be happier...if not I guess I'll have to deal...I do want her to be comfortable. We went to Macy's, Shoram Bridal, and Paradise Bridal...She bought the one at the Shoream location.

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

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Posted by Rebecca B

Thanks for writing...um well she is on the heavy side so I understand being self conscious about oneself...I just think it's an ugly dress...She has tried others on that were more flattering to her...I did tell her how I felt but she said she liked it and so did my Dad...I don't know if she'll switch but if she does I'll be happier...if not I guess I'll have to deal...I do want her to be comfortable. We went to Macy's, Shoram Bridal, and Paradise Bridal...She bought the one at the Shoream location.

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Ok, I'm just being honest here so please, please, please don't be offended...

Having said that, I think you're being alittle selfish about this. If your mom loves the dress and she feels comfortable in it let her be. Look at it this way, if you found what you thought to be 'THE GOWN' and she turned around and said to you 'I don't like it, and it would make ME really happy if you picked a different one' wouldn't you be offended?? I know if someone said that to me (including my mom) I would feel like 'I'm not asking you to wear this gown, so back off', and I know if someone posted something like that here on the boards we would jump all over that, saying 'what business is it of theirs?!' so try to look at it that way. I know it's your wedding but it is just as an important day for her as well and if she really loves this dress, let her get it and try not to let it bother you so much. There are bigger and better things to worry about.

ETA: P.S. Count your blessings, at least you mom is around to be at your wedding. Some girls aren't even that lucky.

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

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Posted by Jennie0898

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Posted by Rebecca B

Thanks for writing...um well she is on the heavy side so I understand being self conscious about oneself...I just think it's an ugly dress...She has tried others on that were more flattering to her...I did tell her how I felt but she said she liked it and so did my Dad...I don't know if she'll switch but if she does I'll be happier...if not I guess I'll have to deal...I do want her to be comfortable. We went to Macy's, Shoram Bridal, and Paradise Bridal...She bought the one at the Shoream location.

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Ok, I'm just being honest here so please, please, please don't be offended...

Having said that, I think you're being alittle selfish about this. If your mom loves the dress and she feels comfortable in it let her be. Look at it this way, if you found what you thought to be 'THE GOWN' and she turned around and said to you 'I don't like it, and it would make ME really happy if you picked a different one' wouldn't you be offended?? I know if someone said that to me (including my mom) I would feel like 'I'm not asking you to wear this gown, so back off', and I know if someone posted something like that here on the boards we would jump all over that, saying 'what business is it of theirs?!' so try to look at it that way. I know it's your wedding but it is just as an important day for her as well and if she really loves this dress, let her get it and try not to let it bother you so much. There are bigger and better things to worry about.

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OMG, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Again, no offense here, but this day is big for your mom too, and I know that if my mom told me my dress was ugly, I would be hurt by it, so I tried to see how it is with the shoe on the other foot.

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

Well, thanks for the honesty...I guess that's the point of it all...I would want her to tell me if the dress I picked was something she didn't like because I value her opinion...I would not be offended by it...It would make think twice about it but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing...One point I do agree with you on is that I am grateful she is here with us to even go to the wedding...I just want her to look her best because it is an important day for her and I do realize that...This dress is not something that accentuates her positives...after taking her aside and letting her know how I felt about it...and I did tell her that if she wanted to wear it that would be fine...I just told her that I thought she had time to look around...she has decided to do so..and if she decides that this dress is it I will be happy for both of us.

Re: mother of the bride dress is ugly!

After lots and lots of discussions about my MOH's dress who is my mom's age, I have a whole new perspective. What we see as flattering and attractive is not necessarily the same thing a woman 20-30 years older than us sees as attractive. I think your mom and her friend know what looks good on thier bodies, and you should trust what she feels beautiful in.