parents giving money to you after the wedding?

ok... i vented last week about my little vegas wedding turning into a lifetime of debt.. not really but close.. and really i feel my FMIL is inviting to many people.. i love her and she hasnt been bad so fine we found the money to afford everyone and everything we want but its going to be tight and we told her how much everything is and how tight its going to be for us... and she thinks its to much for us to spend on the wedding SO i just found out the money shes giving us for the wedding she wont give us until after we pay for the wedding cause she doesnt want us to use it for the wedding but for AFTER the wedding.... but yet she still hasnt cut her list down? we didnt count on any money on her in our budget but still i dont know is this something alot of parents do? my mom already gave us what she could now cause she WANTS us to have the wedding of our dreams... idk i just feel we already asked her once to cut the list and it hasnt been done sooo GIVE US SOME CASH!

Re: parents giving money to you after the wedding?

I'm so sorry. I would talk to her. If my 2 inlaws didnt help out before the wedding I wouldnt have been able to do it. Have your fh talk to her.

Re: parents giving money to you after the wedding?

Perhaps you can explain to her that much of the balances from your vendors will be due the day of your wedding and it would be most helpful to have it then.

We did not count on receiving or asking for any money from my FIL's so we budgeted without them and considered any additional money to be "found money". My FIL's just recently told FH that they can contribute a small amount and to be honest I am grateful. This amount does not come close to what my family is contributing but people can only do what they can. I did, however, ask FH to tell his family that if they did make a financial contribution, that they do it BEFOREhand. Our list is split right down the middle and I didn't think it would be fair to limit anyones list. I also told FH that the money they give be directed towards the catering bill. I do not wish to have my MIL decide on what flowers I am to have.

Re: parents giving money to you after the wedding?

I would talk to them.
I wasnt sure if FILs were going to help since their daughter is getting married next year, so I tried to budget without them. They said they would and I am totally grateful for their help...b/c without them we couldnt have what we wanted and we would have had to wait longer.
I would talk to them and explain that you would like the help for the wedding and if they cant contribute to the wedding they need to cut the list b/c of money issues.

Re: parents giving money to you after the wedding?

Ours did. However, they did cover all of their "extras" before the wedding. They knew that I wasn't going into debt for the wedding (in addition to whiping out my savings account).

I was very clear about what/who I could not pay for. If they chose to add on, they gave me the money up front.