Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

After your wedding, having gone through all your gifts, dotted every 'i' and crossed every 't', and find there are several close friends or family that didn't give anything....my question is, if they never say anything to you about it, do you say anything to them? Some people have called or emailed that they will later or that times are hard, 'Ok, no problem'...but is there any etiquette policy on this?


...And what about NO-SHOWs, do you call them to find out what happened, if they didn't have the decency to call you to let you know they weren't coming??


...Just very curious (cuz of course, it's never about the gift....it's the thought that counts, right?)

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

IMO, as a gift giver......I wouldn't mind if someone called me to ask about the gift a few weeks after the wedding. I would be annoyed if it was the week following the wedding. Because you really do have 1 year to give a gift (does anyone do that?)


I would call the people who didn't show, just to make sure everything is OK.

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by Pmpkn087

Because you really do have 1 year to give a gift (does anyone do that?)

I would call the people who didn't show, just to make sure everything is OK.

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I didn't know that about the year thing...thanx for that one.

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

For the people who came and didn't give a gift, could you just write a note thanking them for sharing your day without mentioning a gift and see what happens after? I dunno. Just an idea.

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Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by Goldi1021

For the people who came and didn't give a gift, could you just write a note thanking them for sharing your day without mentioning a gift and see what happens after? I dunno. Just an idea.

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Good idea!!

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by coopersmom

I would definitely have to call the No Shows! I think it is so rude to say you are coming and not show up!!! I would of course call and make sure 'they are okay' but ultimately be looking for a reason for their irresponsible behavior.

The people who don't bring gifts...hmmmm... I'm not sure. I will have to get back to you in about 44 days... I know people have a year to send a gift.... I am just not sure about what I will do.

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You mean that some people RSVP-ed yes but didn't come and then didn't give an explaination? That is the rudest thing I've ever heard of! I mean it's one thing to have an emergency or something else come up and you can't make it but it is just unacceptable to not call the next week or so and apologize. I think you should call them.

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by BRIDEMICHELE

You mean that some people RSVP-ed yes but didn't come and then didn't give an explaination? That is the rudest thing I've ever heard of! I mean it's one thing to have an emergency or something else come up and you can't make it but it is just unacceptable to not call the next week or so and apologize. I think you should call them.

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We had 12 NO SHOWS!!!! And i'm not counting the 2 that couldn't make both my wedding and my grandfather's funeral...so it's 14 that didn't show in total

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by MissusJones

We had 12 NO SHOWS!!!! And i'm not counting the 2 that couldn't make both my wedding and my grandfather's funeral...so it's 14 that didn't show in total

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How rude And there was no phone message or card waiting for you from any of the 12

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

I had 6 No shows, 4 of which actually sent a gift (which was very surprsing) But for those that gave nothing I wrote 'Thank you for sharing our special day' and left it at that, while those that did give gifts got a longer more personalized note. I'm hoping that guests will start talking to each other and the non gifters will get the hint that they made a boo boo...

But at this point, I don't want the gift, I just would have liked a card or some kind of congratulations momentum that showed me you actually gave a D@MN!!!

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

ok..here's an update...2 family members couldn't due to the passing of my gpa (on my bday...same as rehearsal...hurt so bad).

..spoke to another no-show he 'claims' he was sick, and the gift is in the mail

....spoke to one of my sorors and she couldn't get a ride and was embarassed

....one no show was a wife her husband came and the gift was great (he had proper upbringing )

...i asked my mom about one of her cousins and she 'claims' she just found out she's pregnant, but my mom said when she saw her at the funeral she looks about 7 months in already

....i have another one i keep calling but in this day and age they don't have voice mail and the phone just keeps ringing!!

...the rest are on DH's side and he already has started to 'pick his bones' with his folks...so we'll see!

I tell ya, we've learned so much from this wedding about people and their character!!

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by TimmysGirl

But at this point, I don't want the gift, I just would have liked a card or some kind of congratulations momentum that showed me you actually gave a D@MN!!!

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See that's how i feel, several of DH's family members didn't even give a card, whether there was anything inside or not, you can at least congratulate the couple....

...and that includes his parents, his sister, and his brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by MissusJones

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Posted by TimmysGirl

But at this point, I don't want the gift, I just would have liked a card or some kind of congratulations momentum that showed me you actually gave a D@MN!!!

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See that's how i feel, several of DH's family members didn't even give a card, whether there was anything inside or not, you can at least congratulate the couple....

...and that includes his parents, his sister, and his brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by MrsMichel07

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Posted by MissusJones

See that's how i feel, several of DH's family members didn't even give a card, whether there was anything inside or not, you can at least congratulate the couple....

...and that includes his parents, his sister, and his brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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plus when we talk about it, he feels that their presence was their congratulations (any other family and I would agree)...do you guys feel that a guests presence is enough? i don't know, i'm torn... i feel like if you can't afford the gift at least let the couple know you're really happy for them and not just there for the food...is that wrong?

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

i was wondering the same thing....a few of our friends didnt give us cards or anything. one of my very good friends, who is very 'well-bred' and is not the type to not bring a gift, we did not find a card for. i have yet to ask her about it because i just dont know how to do that. what to do?

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Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

I know that for our engagment party there were a few people who didn't give gifts. I didn't call or mention to them b/c if you are that socially inept that you are invited to a party like that and cannot think to bring a gift... then there is just no point.

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

I would have called the no shows-as for non gift givers I dont know...I am the kind of person where if I cant afford to give you a gift, I would at least get you a card and tell you face to face that times are tight but I WILL get you something. Its only right

Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by coopersmom

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Posted by marybbates

i was wondering the same thing....a few of our friends didnt give us cards or anything. one of my very good friends, who is very 'well-bred' and is not the type to not bring a gift, we did not find a card for. i have yet to ask her about it because i just dont know how to do that. what to do?

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Someone suggested this the other day: Call her and tell her that there are a few cards missing and there was an opened envelope found in the parking lot. You can say that you wanted to let her know that you think hers may be one of them and you want her to cancel her check incase there was one in there...

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Re: Crazy Question: Has Anyone Ever...

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Posted by coopersmom

Someone suggested this the other day: Call her and tell her that there are a few cards missing and there was an opened envelope found in the parking lot. You can say that you wanted to let her know that you think hers may be one of them and you want her to cancel her check incase there was one in there...

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I will definitely use that one...good idea thanks!!!