PRE-CANA FIASCO! Vent & Question

So get this-

I went to pre-cana this past weekend (1-day session in manhattan) and the instructors NEVER SHOWED UP. (Don't even get me started on the fact that i had to pay for this, and sat around doing nothing most of the day, during a beautiful saturday.)

I kid you not. We were never given any explanation and the Deacon at the church tried to do some of it, but it was a complete disaster.

I'm just totally paranoid, bc the anal nun at my parish where we're getting married insisted that we must do that FOCUS test and of course we didn't since there we no instructors.

You don't think they'd make us go again just for that test do you? I mean we got the one pre-cana certificate just for showing up so i'm just not mentioning any of this to the nun. Were you guys given anything additional for doing the test? anything that I'd have pass on that the nun would be expecting?

Please let me know & Thanks!!

Re: PRE-CANA FIASCO! Vent & Question

I would be honest about the couple not showing up and the fact that you were not able to take the test. First off to let your parish know that these people were not dependable and secondly, to let them know you were not able to complete the test, at no fault of your own.

We take our test this Saturday, we were told it will take less than an hour to complete and then we will meet again, for less than an hour to discuss the results. Since your wedding date is pretty close, maybe your parish can work with your schedule to complete it. I don't know if the FOCCUS questionnaire is a requirement for Pre-Cana, some people I know took it, others did not. I am looking forward to taking it and see it as a tool that will be helpful in identifying areas that me and my FI may need to talk about prior to getting married. Good Luck.

Re: PRE-CANA FIASCO! Vent & Question

I think if you have the certificate saying you completed Pre-Cana, you have everything you need. If you really want to do FOCUS, then talk to someone at your parish about it, but if you don't, I wouldn't say anything about it.

We did both. We didn't get a certificate or anything for FOCUS, but in my parish it was required before they scheduled you for Pre-Cana, which was actually a PITA, since I had a heck of a time trying to get in touch with anyone about scheduling the post-FOCUS meeting - our file was misplaced for a while. FOCUS is not required everywhere.

I don't know that I would say either of them were extremely helpful - we talked about most of that stuff in advance and IMO, the FOCUS test is a bit simplistic and outdated. It did bring up one or two things (mostly finances) that we had been lazy about taking care of, but not much else.

ETA: I just looked at your wedding date - I would just give them the Pre-Cana cert. and leave it at that. Most places are not too efficient at scheduling these things in a timely fashion.

Re: PRE-CANA FIASCO! Vent & Question

DONT get me started on precana, mine has been beyond a fiasco. Get this one, i spoke to the guy back in january and he told me he would call me in august, oh and he called all right, to tell me i missed the 1st session. SO then he told me to just go to the second. Well, unfortuneately my FH ended up in the hospital that day with a crohns attack, so i call him to find out what to do and he tells me to call my recetion hall and plan my ceremony for there cause i can no longer get married at my church. Well, to make a long story short, i called the pastor and he is letting me take it at a different church, but what a butt munch, like i planned on random emergency room visits.

Re: PRE-CANA FIASCO! Vent & Question

I dont think you have a CHOICE in taking the FOCCUS test- its a requirement of the parish and trust me they will know- we took it before pre cana but we were the last couple to go over the test and they told us we HAD to go over the results with a volunteer from the church BEFORE the wedding- we did it like 2 weeks before the wedding- BORING!!! It was cool to see how our thought process on certain issues were- we scored very high but not in agreeance with the catholic church views - with this test - I asked of the purpose- the church will still marry you but if you guys answer totally off the wall from eachother they highly rec counseling through the church- so trust me they wont miss it and dont inconveniene ( sp) yourself by thinking they forgot and then its last minute- you dont need the added stress!!! you have to go to someones house to go over the test! sometimes its the same couple who did your pre cana - ours was not-AND we had our precana certificate too , its completely different! I would call them!

Re: PRE-CANA FIASCO! Vent & Question

I didn't even take a FOCUS test...oh well.

Re: PRE-CANA FIASCO! Vent & Question

Also the focus test is not done at pre cana- this is different- dont wait for them- its not their responsibility- they will tell you- its up to you to comply with what they told you- If a parish says you have to take a foccus test- its a MUST- not all parishes do this, but they wont marry you if you dont have it- and we didnt have to give anyone a precana certificate- it was given to us at the end of pre cana at a prayer service where they had beer, wine, soda, cheese, cookies and the musicians playing and singing sample ceremony music and they gave us a beautiful cross too.

Re: PRE-CANA FIASCO! Vent & Question

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Posted by curliegirl

I didn't even take a FOCUS test...oh well.

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Not all parishes require it.