Major Vent session *update*

Ok, so FH and I have been at each others necks for days now. It got really ugly today and I told him to call WM and cancel it. I can't take the screaming and yelling anymore.
He has been having troubles with his job (he's a teacher) since he got excessed (meaning they don't need him at that school but since he has tenure he can't be fired, they have to find a job for him.) well school started two weeks ago and he still has no position. So needless to say he has been complaining almost every night. Fine. I can understand but after a while give it an effing rest already. I want to shoot myself with all the miserableness giong on. Nothing is getting done for the wedding which is constantly being called my wedding although I have repeatedly expressed my displeasure at having it called my wedding. I have told him that I really want and need his input into the things that we need.
To make matters worse we went to a photographer and a dj today with his mom and he kept saying well bj wants this. I feel that this whole thing is on my shoulders and want to cancel. I just don't want this anymore. I dont' care about the damn dress and all the crap that goes with this. I am done. I told him if he wants to get married then he needs to stop being a miserable ******* to me and start acting like the loving fiance he once was.
I know this is a complete jumble of complaints and it probably doesn't make sense but I am really hurt that he has turned this sour.

Re: Major Vent session

Awwww, . But even though you're frustrated, don't do anything you might regret later! Take a few days to calm down and relax, and don't worry about wedding stuff. Then, when things cool down, tell FH how you feel about wedding pressures, and let him know that you are there for him during his job troubles. Definitely let him know how you're feeling, though. That you want it to be your wedding together.

Re: Major Vent session

I agree with Glinda- take a couple of days where you don't think or do anything for the wedding- maybe try to spend some time together doing something fun to get back to the loving feelings and then when both of you are calmer you can try and talk things out.

My FH has a son and a crazy ex-wife which adds alot of stress to our relationship and there have been a couple of times when we have had to take a step back and just try to find each other again. It's so easy to let all the craziness get to you.

Good Luck

Re: Major Vent session

I really don't think he gives a darn. I've told him this previously but he keeps saying the same things over and over. Then he tries to turn it around on me.
The more I vent I realize that it is so much more that is also ticking me off. My parents have expressed NO interest in anything. My good friend was down right obnoxious to him last week. To the point I was uncomfortable being in her house and wanted to leave. I feel like EVERYthing is against us. I don't know, maybe giving it a break AGAIN for a while will help.

Re: Major Vent session

Awwww, honey, I know exactly how you feel, I was ready to smack FH upside the head a few days ago. I took the advice from the girls to let things go a bit, and reminded myself that communication is key to a good relationship, and told him he was driving me nuts and why (& I provided concrete examples). Then we spent last night celebrating my birthday with NO wedding planning going on. Just me & him and a date. Worked wonders.

Don't throw in the towel yet. Give it a day or two before you say (or do) anything you might regret.

Re: Major Vent session

I'm in the same boat. If you want to talk fm me. Sometimes I feel like all FH and I do is fight (for other reasons then you, but fight just the same) I also feel that when I talk about it w/ him he turns it around and is very unapologetic! If I give myself time to clear things up in my head, I'm not so mad.... Like for instance I was really mad that he went out w/ his friends tonight (4th time this week, and he's been going out w/ his friend 3+ times a week all summer) and now that a few hours have gone by, I am only slightly fuming!!

Re: Major Vent session

There is nothing more stressful than job stress (especially when you need money to plan a wedding!). I would turn on the support, as much as possible. And I would back off on all things wedding not just for a few days, but until he gets a new position. If something can't wait, that's one thing, but it seems that you do have some time.

Re: Major Vent session

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Posted by SexyEsq
Then we spent last night celebrating my birthday .

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Happy Birthday!!!

Re: Major Vent session

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Posted by wintergirl06

There is nothing more stressful than job stress (especially when you need money to plan a wedding!). I would turn on the support, as much as possible. And I would back off on all things wedding not just for a few days, but until he gets a new position. If something can't wait, that's one thing, but it seems that you do have some time.

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That would be ok if this hadn't been going on since June. I've been listening to him gripe for months now and I don't even want to call him with the fear of just not wanting to hear it anymore. No ones life is perfect and he feels that his is the worst. Fine. I can hear him on some of the griping, but enough is enough. As Cher would say: SNAP OUT OF IT!!! I don't want to spend the next 10 months at each others necks.

Re: Major Vent session *update*

So I called FH at 5:00 pm and invited him to go out to dinner with me. He said that is funny, cause I was just about to call you and do the same. So maybe I'm not marrying such a butt heah after all. Wish me luck ladies

Re: Major Vent session *update*

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Posted by BJandDan

So I called FH at 5:00 pm and invited him to go out to dinner with me. He said that is funny, cause I was just about to call you and do the same. So maybe I'm not marrying such a butt heah after all. Wish me luck ladies

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hope all goes well

Re: Major Vent session *update*

Dinner was a success. No wedding talk. We laughed and flirted like old buddies, had great food (HIGHLY recommend Thom Thom on Park Ave in Wantagh, just North of the railroad. it is a sushi/steak restaurant, really really good. steak was amazing and FH said sushi was extremely fresh tasting.) sent him home with a kiss

Thank you guys for reminding me what it is all about. Will continue for a (little) while with the non-stressing of the wedding stuff.