Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

Ok, this is sticky. My parents are paying for some of our wedding and his parents are paying for none (they are divorced). My mom and I are going to look at photographers in the next few weeks and she is paying for the photographer. So she calls me tonight to tell me that usually the package that photographers give comes with two parent albums and she does not want to pay for his mom's album considering she is not contributing at all to the wedding. In a way, I kind of agree with my mom, but how do I phrase it to his mom?? I really think if she gives us nothing and she has the few hundred that it costs for her own personal album (if she even wants one) then she should buy it herself. Its not like she is chipping in at all to help us through this wedding. Am I wrong for thinking like this? How do i phrase it to her?

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

That is a tuff one... but they should not expect for your parents to pay for an album for her.. maybe you can tell her she (FMIL) has an option to buy one when you order your package ask what the price of it would be for the parent album tell her what it costs and see what they say?!?!

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

You arent wrong for thinking it.. I just dont think its right. Me personally I think you should get it for them..

How bout buying it for them as a christmas or a wedding gift?

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

You don't HAVE to get anyone anything, but I have seen very few a la carte photography packages, most come with the two albums as part of the price. If your mom doesn't want to pay for it, ask the photographer how much it costs alone and if you can afford it, but it for her as a gift. It just doesn't seem right to me to exclude her just because she isn't contributing financially. Also, think how you will feel if you do this, and then she comes up with some HUGE check as a wedding gift.

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

I don't think she would assume you are buying it for her. We got an a la carte package and both parents know that. I showed my mom a book I made on OFOTO for about $35 and she said to just make her something similar after the wedding. I'd say to just do that for your FMIL.

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

I think you hould just pay for the alblum yourself. Just to show that you are appreciative of your FI's family-and that way you can make eveyone happy-but your mom should not have to pay for it .

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

I agree your mom should not have to pay for it...but somehow you should figure out a way to get her one. Even if you make it yourself after the wedding-or you can always just say that you are going to look/have looked and they didnt include parent albums...to add it to my package will be $.... would you be willing to pay for it? Otherwise I am not getting them...Just and idea

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

regardless of whether or not shes helping you pay for your wedding, she is still your FHs mom... and she still deserves something special to remember her sons wedding by. the parent albums usually come as part of a package... if your mom doesn't want to pay for your FMILs album, you should give your mom the money and give it to FMIL as a christmas gift or something.
not getting her an album could cause problems, and i just don't think its worth hurting a relationship over....

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

I believe that as your new MIL she deserves the album. YOU are having (and want) the wedding. Your mom helping out financially is a wonderful gift. It should not be expected that anyone should help pay for your party.

Family is about love and support. That is not always in the form of cash.
Were it not for your MIL, you would not have met you FH.
We are paying for everything ourselves, and I still love my IL's - they will happily receive an album.
JMHO

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

I have the same situation I am not getting either parents albums. Neither parents are paying for our wedding, my parents are giving what they can but they honestly don't have money! I am getting my parents a brag book and his parents a dvd slide show. I was able to take the parent books out of the package and get more photo's a bigger picture for us and nicer album plus I didn't have to pay for the assistant. These things are the things I wanted I didn't think I should have to buy them albums. His parents have the money and are not contributing or telling us what they will give us therefore I feel no obligation and when they don't get one they shouldn't be upset about it.

Don't even bring it up, she doesn't need to know your parents will have an album.

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

I think you should pay for the album yourself... it's not going to be much and if your parents ar epaying for all of the pics, be grateful and just bite the bullet and buy the book. I think it's a nice gesture and if you want, give it to them as a Xmas gift or something.

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

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Posted by ML110

regardless of whether or not shes helping you pay for your wedding, she is still your FHs mom... and she still deserves something special to remember her sons wedding by. the parent albums usually come as part of a package... if your mom doesn't want to pay for your FMILs album, you should give your mom the money and give it to FMIL as a christmas gift or something.
not getting her an album could cause problems, and i just don't think its worth hurting a relationship over....

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I agree with this, I have a sneaking suspicion that at some point, your MIL will find out that your parents got an album and she didn't and it will cause problems, regardless of who is paying for what (or not paying....)

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

We are considering the parents albums part of their gift.

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

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Posted by ML110

regardless of whether or not shes helping you pay for your wedding, she is still your FHs mom... and she still deserves something special to remember her sons wedding by. the parent albums usually come as part of a package... if your mom doesn't want to pay for your FMILs album, you should give your mom the money and give it to FMIL as a christmas gift or something.
not getting her an album could cause problems, and i just don't think its worth hurting a relationship over....

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I agree with this as well, it's just the right thing to do.

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

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Posted by OctRo05

I believe that as your new MIL she deserves the album. YOU are having (and want) the wedding. Your mom helping out financially is a wonderful gift. It should not be expected that anyone should help pay for your party.

Family is about love and support. That is not always in the form of cash.
Were it not for your MIL, you would not have met you FH.
We are paying for everything ourselves, and I still love my IL's - they will happily receive an album.
JMHO

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I agree, you do not want to start this marriage off on a sour note with the FIL's....JMO

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

Neither of our parents are contributing to the wedding...

Parents albums come with our package...there is no way that I would not get our parents an album...

I personally think that is horrible...

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

Hey

Want my two cents?

Definitely get her the album no matter who is paying for the wedding. Whether you and FH pay for the album, or your parents, this is not a battle you want to start. There will be plenty of others...

It should be included with your photographer's package anyway. Even if it's not, you DEFINITELY don't want to leave the mother of the groom with no wedding album! Trust me, you will not hear the end of it for the rest of your lives, and it's so not worth it in the long run.

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

My Dad is paying for the whole wedding and then album for my FH parents as well

it will be there gift

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

we both have divorsed parents so there are four sets..ahhhh so we are getting the mothers an album, and i think then both the are giving all the sets a video and we might give his dad an album too, we didn't decided yet...

Re: Photo question: Do we have to get his parent's an album

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Posted by Beth1210

My Dad is paying for the whole wedding and then album for my FH parents as well

it will be there gift

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good idea actually. You can make it her gift and then you won't have to get her anything else!