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UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

12-3Princess Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:11 AM+

12-3Princess MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3093 WEDDING DATE: Oct 29, 2005

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:11 AM

UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

THANK you so much for your support on my previous thread. I thought I should update you since FH spoke with her this morning.

I know I can't let it ruin our last 18 days of the engagement, but I can't help being sad about it either. I'm less angry than I was yesterday, now I'm just sad that she would put us in this position.

I probably won't say anything, because it really is FH's place. He did ask her about it this morning, and she actually said the married guy is separated and living with his brother... Unfortunately, I really think she's lying because she originally asked FH to send the invitation to his WORK not home - if he wasn't living with his wife, why would we need to send it to his work (Of course I FH REFUSED to do that - and she never dared to ask ME) ... anyway, that's why she ended up bringing him as her guest instead of sending him a solo invite.

Besides, I know he went away with his wife for Christmas last year. He doesn't sound separated to me, and now I'm even angrier that I think she's lying to FH. But I can't say a word and cause drama with the wedding so near by.

Actually, this has caused an argument with FH a little, cuz I'm so sure she's lying and he wants to believe what she's saying about the separation. It just doesn't make sense to me. If he was separated, she wouldn't hide him and sneak around the way she does... I've never met him in all the years I've been with FH... BUT I've heard plenty from FSIL about their sneaking around. Plus she wouldn't have been so depressed on the holidays when he was with his wife (FSIL told me about that) and plus, the invitation story I just told you. Anyway, of course I can't call her a liar and accuse her of anything, so now I'll just say nothing.

I'm really trying to just get over it but every time I think about them dancing together at our reception, or sitting there listening to our vows in the Church, I get so DISGUSTED!!!

FH and I have been so happy and excited that this little damper can't ruin it. I'm hoping to get it together today and just not let it get to me anymore.

tHANKS LADIES!

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:14 AM+

brooklynbridezilla MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6649 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 1995

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:14 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

I'm glad you guys worked it out!

Maybe just ask FH to make sure that married guy is not in any family portraits and stuff?

mariela2006 Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:15 AM+

mariela2006 MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 559 WEDDING DATE: Jan 12, 2007

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:15 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

Thanks for the update! You are doing the right thing. I am glad your FH talked to her and really that's all that could have been done. As you said try to enjoy these days before the weddding. You have so much to think about to let this bring you down. Good Luck!

klingklang77 Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:16 AM+

klingklang77 MEMBER SINCE: 10/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1915 WEDDING DATE: Jul 16, 2006

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:16 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

well it is good that you are going to be so strong. just remember it is her own misfortune that she is going to do this and dont let it ruin your day.

12-3Princess Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:18 AM+

12-3Princess MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3093 WEDDING DATE: Oct 29, 2005

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:18 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

Posted by klingklang77

well it is good that you are going to be so strong. just remember it is her own misfortune that she is going to do this and dont let it ruin your day.

You're right. That is what I keep telling myself.

EmberLynn Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:19 AM+

EmberLynn MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3611 WEDDING DATE: Oct 06, 2006

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:19 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

Don't let it ruin your day, just enjoy yourself and ignore you MIL and her guest.

klingklang77 Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:21 AM+

klingklang77 MEMBER SINCE: 10/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1915 WEDDING DATE: Jul 16, 2006

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:21 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

Posted by 12-3Princess

Posted by klingklang77

well it is good that you are going to be so strong. just remember it is her own misfortune that she is going to do this and dont let it ruin your day.

You're right. That is what I keep telling myself.

good for you! just be the better person, as hard as it might sound.

smurray Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:23 AM+

smurray MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2577 WEDDING DATE: Aug 31, 2007

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:23 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

Posted by mariela2006

Thanks for the update! You are doing the right thing. I am glad your FH talked to her and really that's all that could have been done. As you said try to enjoy these days before the weddding. You have so much to think about to let this bring you down. Good Luck!

I agree totally w/ the above. Its really a done deal, FH (who should have spoken to her) has, and like you said you just can't down right call her a liar. As long as you guys have talked it over and theirs no tension between the both of you, you should be fine. My FMIL does alot of things that make me sooo upset, but at the end of the day I realize that, that is MY FH's mother. Who am I to direspect her no matter what she says, or does. I would never allow anyone, or another woman to do that to my mother. And if things really got out of hand I would think that FH would be the one to talk to her, b/c that is his mother. So cheer up

, you getting married. You probably wouldn't even notice him there.
Good Luck

lulugrrl Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:51 AM+

lulugrrl MEMBER SINCE: 5/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1094 WEDDING DATE: Feb 17, 2006

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 10:51 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

I was thinking the same thing as you when you said..'how can they sit there during the vows, and feel right about what they are doing?' But i have to say, you seem to have a wonderful attitude about it, and you are right to TRY and not let it get too deep under your skin, just try to enjoy your day, and not look at them to much.

Good Luck with your wedding, I am sure everything will work out just fine

12-3Princess Posted: Oct 11, 2005 11:56 AM+

12-3Princess MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3093 WEDDING DATE: Oct 29, 2005

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 11:56 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

dpli Posted: Oct 11, 2005 12:43 PM+

dpli MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2470 WEDDING DATE: Nov 07, 2004

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 12:43 PM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

If it helps at all, I was so in the moment through most of my wedding (especially the ceremony) that I was pretty oblivious to what other people around us were doing.

I also say she should be told in advance that he is expected to stay out of the photos. That way, it won't upset you after the wedding as well, when you go to make your albums. Good luck.

frosty Posted: Oct 11, 2005 02:59 PM+

frosty MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1654 WEDDING DATE: Sep 25, 2005

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 02:59 PM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

Honestly, on your day, you will be so focused on your DH, you probably won't have time to think about the situation.

That won't help the days leading up to your wedding, though. Just focus on your love for your FH and not what some of your guests are doing, no matter how distateful.

I'm sure you're wedding will be wonderful!

MrsH1156 Posted: Oct 11, 2005 05:08 PM+

MrsH1156 MEMBER SINCE: 10/05 TOTAL POSTS : 3312 WEDDING DATE: Nov 05, 2006

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 05:08 PM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

I'm happy your FH was able to speak with her. Definitely enjoy the last days before your wedding and remember that when the day comes, no one will remember anything about your FMIL. Instead, they will remember how beautiful you looked and how happy you and your new husband will be!

mclane Posted: Oct 11, 2005 09:26 PM+

mclane MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 449 WEDDING DATE: Sep 02, 2006

Posted: Oct 11, 2005 09:26 PM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

I really feel for you- and I think all these girls are right- focus on the things you can control. She sounds like a pig- don't let it get to you. Just enjoy your wedding day- I mean, the Tribeca Rooftop is such a lovely place, and you're starting your life with the man of your dreams! Enjoy!! good luck!

PegaLega Posted: Oct 12, 2005 12:26 AM+

PegaLega MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 29798 WEDDING DATE: May 25, 2007

Posted: Oct 12, 2005 12:26 AM

Re: UPDATE ON FMIL AND THE MARRIED MAN

BIG

for you two!!!!

Enjoy the rest of your engagement and dont let it ruin your day!!! Just keep in mind-no matter what they are doing you and FH are going to be committing your lives to each other-you are the bigger person....

Good Luck!!!!!!!!