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Sadie
Wedding Newbie
Member since 10/05 2 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/1/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Family Question
Here is my situation, my FSIL put me in her wedding party, a few months after she and my brother got engagement. She asked me to be a bm a few days after my father's funeral. My good friend overheard her saying that she only put me in the party b/c she thought it was the right thing to do under the circumstances. Now I find out I am not going in the limo with the rest of the bridal party and they have a conflict with my wedding date. FH does not want my brother as a groomsman and I do not want her as a bm. Do we ask them to be in the bridal party anyway for our families sake? Please help.
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Posted 10/14/05 3:23 PM 
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E-n-K
Soooo happy to be a Mrs.!!
Member since 8/05 1080 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2007 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Giorgio's!!!
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Re: Family Question
I think the people standing next to u on ur wedding day should be close friends and family that YOU want to be there. I understand feeling obligated to ask certain people, but I wouldn't. Its yours and FHs day and the people in your WP should be those closest to you that u want to be right next you on one of the, or the most important day of your life.
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Posted 10/14/05 3:28 PM
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FallBride05
1st Anniversary Trip - BOOKED!
Member since 7/05 3405 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/13/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow Country Club
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Re: Family Question
YOu don't have to. I didn't ask my FSIL's and I'm pretty close with them.
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Posted 10/14/05 3:28 PM
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mable
holy 1 year already
Member since 11/04 1698 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/4/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Astoria World Manor
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Re: Family Question
do what you feel is right.. You have to be happy too..
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Posted 10/14/05 3:31 PM
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MissingTheBGene
We're homeowners!
Member since 6/05 4547 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/2/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Woodlands
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Re: Family Question
Posted by Sadie
Here is my situation, my FSIL put me in her wedding party, a few months after she and my brother got engagement. She asked me to be a bm a few days after my father's funeral. My good friend overheard her saying that she only put me in the party b/c she thought it was the right thing to do under the circumstances. Now I find out I am not going in the limo with the rest of the bridal party and they have a conflict with my wedding date. FH does not want my brother as a groomsman and I do not want her as a bm. Do we ask them to be in the bridal party anyway for our families sake? Please help.
I think you all need to sit down and have a long chat with each other and get everything out on the table. I kind of feel like we don't have the whole story here (I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't want their sister or brother in their BP) but like I said, I think there is some underlying story here and it would be best for everyone to discuss it.
It's not your FSIL's call whether or not she wants you in her BP, your brother should set her straight on that. IMO, if my FI had an issue with my brother (I don't actually have a brother, I'm just using this as a reference), I would be upset if he didn't want to include him. Out of respect for me, he should ask him, but that's just IMO.
I hope it all works out and good luck!
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Posted 10/14/05 3:31 PM
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Mrs. dleeny
My most beautiful day ever
Member since 3/05 12395 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/6/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club A+
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Re: Family Question
I can't tell you what to do, but if I was in your situation, I would ask FSIL if she really wants me in her BP and I would tell her what that person overheard.
your wedding day is one of the most important in your life and no one should be in your BP out of obligation. (and vice versa)
JMHO
Message edited 10/14/2005 3:55:25 PM.
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Posted 10/14/05 3:54 PM
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babybug631
Little peanut due in November!
Member since 1/05 2038 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/17/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
West Sayville Country Club
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Re: Family Question
You don't have to put her in the BP, just because she put you in hers. It doesn't sound like you are that close anyway. Whatever makes you happy is what you should do.
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Posted 10/15/05 12:22 AM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15892 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: Family Question
first i can't believe she said u won't be in the limo even though you're part of the bp
my bil(sister's husbamd) and dh sil was not in our bp. i'm not even close with sil. u should have people that you're close with in your bp
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Posted 10/15/05 8:00 AM
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M&LSept1606
it didn't rain! it was perfect
Member since 9/04 2250 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/16/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Vineyard Caterers
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Re: Family Question
no, you don't have to ask them to be in your wedding.
my FH and I were asked to be in one couples wedding. I declined and he was a groomsmen , we're not having either one of them in our wedding. Long story....
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Posted 10/15/05 8:47 AM
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JennJay
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 863 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/12/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Family Question
Unless you and your brother are close, I don't think it is necessary for you or your FH to have them in the bridal party. I think it really depends on the relationship you have with your brother.
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Posted 10/15/05 9:48 AM
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PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!
Member since 6/05 29821 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/25/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Family Question
I am not putting my FSIL in my bridal party-we are not close nor is FH and her...I think the people that you put in your BP should be your closest and dearest friends. If you dont want to you dont have to
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Posted 10/16/05 1:21 AM
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lindz
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 426 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/31/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
lombardi's on the sound
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Re: Family Question
I come from a family of 6. I had my 2 sisters as BM and MOH and my 3 brothers were not groomsmen. I thought it would be unfair to take up 3/5 slots of my DH's friends for my family, which he hardly knows. (2 brothers live out of state) We found other things for them to be part of.
In your case, trust me, I speak from experience, do not ask anyone to be in your bridal party out of obligation. This is your day and you want the people that mean the most to you and the people who will support you to be by your side on your wedding day.
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Posted 10/16/05 8:51 AM
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