is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

okay...just curious ladies....how is the first year going...i have to be honest--my dh and i have been having stupid little spats lately (like daily). everyone keeps telling me it is just the 'adjustment phase.'...i am curious..anyone else going thru this?
any suggestions on GETTING thru it??!!

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

I'd say the first two or three months were hardest for us. We didn't live together before, so it was adjustments to living together...I've got to say, it's been great the past 9 months though! After the first three it's been smooth sailing. You just got married though, and esp. if you just moved in together you're going through so many changes. Plan fun dates though! It gets easy to just get into a rut with day to day stuff...Do stuff to make it fun!

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

We lived together for a few years before we were married so the first year has been just like normal.......actually probably even better because we don't have to save for a wedding.

However, I've heard many people who haven't lived together beforehand have some issues getting over the adjustment period.

It most definitely will get better. Just put into perspective what you need to stand your ground on and what you should compromise on.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

Yes, its is. It's rough at times I will admit. We aslo didn't live together before we got married, so we had to deal w/ that on top of other newlwed issues. We still have our issues at times.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

Rest assured - you are normal! Especially if you didn't live together before hand. My DH and I didn't live together before we got married, so we had to deal with moving in together and just getting married.

For us, the first 6 months were pretty rough, and then suddenly got a ton better as we adjusted to each other.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

We did not live together and in the beginning we had an adjustment period of being together everyday. Also, we had a tough year with regarding our families. As you all know, DH's uncle was killed in Jan, then one of his aunts passed away in March and then another passed away in June. On my side, my sister had a baby, which was a good thing.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

we went through this when we started living together... I think for about 6 months it seemed like we argued all the time... it will pass

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

The first year? How about every year!

Just kidding-you will find that as you go along your relationship will ebb and flow and not every day will be great. There may be weeks when you seem out of joint, but that will pass.

We lived together but the first year was still an adjustment.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

looking back on it, yes! but at the time I didnt even realize it until it got so much easier now.
Keep telling you and remind DH that it will get easier!

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

Um - YEAH!!

You are SO not by yourself. We didn't live together before we got married. Moving in together was the adjustment period of all time for us.

I wanted to come in and take over, and he had been living in this place, on his own, doing for himself, for several years. He was so set in his ways that the least little thing I'd leave out of place would upset the apple cart like you would not believe.

It's gotten much better though, and it keeps getting better. But we STILL do spat. Don't worry. It's normal.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

I moved in just a few weeks before the wedding, and we argued a bit in the last few weeks of planning. Since we got married, I would say we argued the most about a month after we got married. Over the last month, things have been pretty good. We have a lot of changes in our lives besides the marriage though, so there are some major adjustments for both of us.

Overall, it doesn't seem very hard to get used to each other, at least not now.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

thank you all....
i guess it doesnt really have to necessarily have to do with the marriage, but it has everything to do with the adjustment to new circumstances you have to make. The biggest change for us is the fact that we were two VERY independent people trying to adjust to each other and trying to define what marriage means to us as a couple (yes, we had discussed that before we got married, but you just don't know what you're getting into until you're into it.)
although it is frustrating, it is also comforting to know that it appears to be a normal experience that most couples go thru at some point....i appreciate you all sharing yours with me...

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

I agree with what everyone is saying. We didn't live together beforehand, so it is taking some getting used to. It gets a little easier every day and there are less fights than there used to be. Through it all, I have absolutely loved being married and wouldn't change a thing.

Also, depending upon your situation, the responsibilities that come with buying a house doesn't make the adjustment any easier.

Glad to hear we're all in the same boat!

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

We lived together for a few years before we got married, but the first year of living together was rough. It was hard to adjust to sharing everything, including our time. But after we settled in things got much better. Now that we're married things have been smooth sailing. We fight occasionally, but that's to be expected. We actually spend more time together now than we ever did before.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

We didn't live together before we were married either. And I feel that it is a big adjustment. It has been getting so much easier though. My coworker gave me some advice and I always think about it b/f I get mad about something...'He can't read your mind...So if you want him to know or do something you have to tell him!!!' To me things are obvious. To him, maybe not so obvious!

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

We didn't live together before we got married and I have to say that if this year was the hardest, then the rest will be cake because it really wasn't all that bad. I mean we had our spats here and there but really nothing like what I had heard people say the first year was like...that whole 'major adjustment' thing really didn't happen to us. Maybe it's because we got pg right away so we had a much bigger picture to focus on, but really, it was a great year.

Re: is it true when they say 'the first year is the hardest'?

we lived together for three years but when we moved into our own house after we got married it has been tough so far. because of the responsibilities of the house.