Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2

As some of you may know, I have yet to do any sort of hair trial because I am in the process of growing out a very butchy short hair cut. This hair cut, I had when FH and I met. It was rather complimentary and feminine. I enjoyed it because it required little (if any) maintenance on a daily basis. I COULD actually vary how it looked - slick it back, spike it up, pull it over to one side etc.


UNTIL ONE DAY as we were getting closer to engagement, when FH said "Id love to see what your hair would look like long - you may want it long for a wedding someday. Well me in all of my stupidity, started to let it all grow out. If any of you have ever grown out a short hair cut, you know it could take years before you can do anything substantial with it.

Picture of me this past summer (e-pic) while still growing:


My hair now (I am the one in pink all the way to the right)

So this is where I am right now. I went to my hairdresser today to discuss pacing my hair coloring before the wedding. I would dye it now and then one week before the wedding. As long as my hair is long, it will be highlighted blonde. As a short haired woman, it is red. any of you ladies who dye their hair red know that red hair dye oxidizes and looks brassy in a short period of time. It simply does not look good long AND red. The hair dresser told me that my hair is still nto quite long enough to do what she would like to do for my hair. She said that either my hair should be short (the way I want it) or up (which I am not happy with) because of the severe nature of my dress:

I am in complete agreement that my hair should NOT be down. However, in order to put my hair up and have it look full (as my hair is very fine and not full on its own. she suggested an extension. Some of you know I am anti-extension. If it aint coming from my head, I dont want it. It is simply not natural to me. So this long up-do hair thing that FH wants so bad wouldnt even be my hair and I am likely to have a "double-whammy" if you will. 1) An up-do that I hate and 2)An extension - just to please him.

I have yet to see any bridal hairstyle that I like. I am rather unconventional in my dress choice and I would like to be with my hairstyle choice. At the same time, I want FH to love what I look like on our wedding day AND know that I am happy with what I look like. It is easy to say "Do what makes you happy" or "You will be beautiful no matter what" I know this on an intellectual level.

The issue is, if I cut the hair, I will feel that some part of him will wish I looked different but I want to be happy too.

Sorry so long. I am very frustrated.

Message edited 11/16/2005 10:16:04 PM.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

Leslie,
I think you should cut your hair. You seem very unhappy with it growing out, and obviously long for the short hair you had in those pics. You will look gorgeous on your wedding day no matter what, and FH is marrying you for YOU not for your hair style. You have to do what makes you happy. You don't want to keep thinking you hate your wedding 'do and wish it was short. You look stunning with the short hair, not every woman can pull that off. Do what makes you feel the best about yourself. FH will be happy as long as you are happy.


ETA: I didn't mean the pun : long for the short hair

Message edited 11/16/2005 6:33:45 PM.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I happen to agree with you but I am also the queen of second guessing. We plan on discussing this tonight over dinner.

.

Message edited 12/6/2007 9:59:09 PM.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

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Posted by stephanielyse

I think your hair looks great in your epic - I think it's beautiful and classy and would look beautiful with your (gorgeous and sexy) gown. Talk to FH about it, I'm sure he'd much rather you have short hair and feel comfortable and happy than have long hair (and extensions) and feel unhappy or self-concious about it on your wedding day.

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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I think you should have your hair how you want it on your wedding day b/c if you're anything like me (which it sounds like you are) you will not be totally comfortable or happy if it's not how you want it. I can relate on some level b/c my FH is totally freaking out that I'm getting my make-up and hair done as I'm super low maintenance..as in I never wear make-up or do much with my hair and he wants me to look my natural best. Which is very sweet, but I am concerned that he won't like how I look all done up or wil be disappointed in some way.
BUT I am willing to bet that you are going to look gorgeous on your wedding day and that your Fh will be thrilled with how you look even if it is not his preconceived notion of bridal hair

.

Message edited 12/6/2007 10:01:15 PM.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

You have to do what makes YOU HAPPY!! My FI wanted my hair down and blown out straight for our wedding day..and I was upset for a while that he was opposed to my hair being up but finally I said NO WAY! And I told all of my reasons..such as how hot it will be in July!

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

Lurking '05er here . - I think your hair looks great both ways......You are obviously comfortable with it very short and/or slicked back .....and with the style of your gown, you could pull it straight back in a very classic bun - That is, if you don't want to cut it. -
I think w/ that gown, it would also look awesome short. If your FH wants you to have 'big' hair, and YOU are completely uncomfortable with it, don't do it !! b/c ifyou are not happy and comfortable on you wedding day, it will show.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I do hair for weddings and I honestly think that you have the face for short hair, I think with the style of your dress that your hair short will look classy but sexy. I say make an appointment an cut it!! Your going to blow him away either way SO do what makes you happy and that's short!!!!

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I think you should go back to the length and color you had in your epics, it was soft and framed your face nicely. I liked the highlights too. Your dress is ultra-feminine, and very sophisticated and sexy, so I don't think your FH will even remember his request when he sees you in it! I know we all want to look a certain way for our FH's, but if extensions are something you're strongly against, you will not only feel uncomfortable in them, but look so as well. IMHO!!!

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

Your dress is very elegant and chic and you would have to wear your hair up to get the full effect.
So if you feel better with shorter hair go for it.

Your husband is marrying you, the whole you, and I am sure he will be blown away when he sees you on your wedding day.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

Cut it and do some glamourous 40's waves. It looks nice on short hair. You know what I mean

Message edited 11/16/2005 7:24:45 PM.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

Pick up a copy of the latest InStyle weddings - they show short hairs with up dos - they make it look like long hair (w/o extensions).

If that doesn't work, then I'm with the gals - a confident bride is a beautiful bride. Cut your hair day of - FH will be so overwhelmed, it won't even be an issue!

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

mho is that in your engagement pic you look the best that hair syle is great on you it reaaly shows off how pretty you are I am not crazy about super short hair although you look good with it the longer length is great!!!!

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I think your hair looks great in all the pics, but it seems that you are wishing that your hair was short again. If you aren't 100% sure just yet, why not take your hair back to the length it was for your epics? I think your hair looked awesome for those pics Then if it still isn't short enough for you and you still want to go "all the way" GO FOR IT! You look simply marvelous either way!

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

i heart the engagement pic hair. the hilights and bangs- really beautiful

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I love your both long and short. You really can't go wrong either way. I know you want FH to love it but you seem really unhappy with your length now. I think you should cut it. Your hair won't make the outfit but the way you carry yourself will. Be happy.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

Leslie,
While you do look very beautiful with longer hair, you look stunning and more importantly more confortable with your hot short hair. Cut it. It think it is important to feel beautiful on the in and outside

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

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Posted by Preshy7

i heart the engagement pic hair. the hilights and bangs- really beautiful

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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I think you and future hubby will talk about it and figure it out! Don't stress! Stressing just makes you go bald and then you won't have to worry about your hair at all!

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

Les, Cut the hair! It will make you happy and FH will love you no matter what!

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I loved your post!! I can totally relate. I had my har really really really short before I met my FH and I'm dying to cut it all off again. I don't think it was butchy before- you can carry it and you look great! Both styles would go with your dress.

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

You have to do what is comfortable for you...

If you are not comfortable on your wedding day with your up do, extensions, or whatever else... you will not be comfortable and it will completely show in your pics and you won't start your day just right...

With that being said, if you love your hair short, then chop it off...

Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)

I would talk to FH and let him know how much you hate your hair right now. there has to be a happy medium that he agrees with. it must be sooo frustrating to have hair that is not whta you want.. Let us know what you deicde