Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

Ok... here's the deal... two of my good friends are getting married within three months of me.... I get a call from one of them last night.... she asks me to meet her to pick out flowers for the other's shower and oh , she looked at favors today and it looks like it will be like $250 for favors....

There are ten tables and we haven't picked out the flowers for them yet...

I was alittle bent out of shape... I mean how much am I spending on this shower.. that doesn't include a gift or the bachelorette party ( and I have been known to throw a really great sioree)....

How much are you guys expecting or have you spent? Am I being cheap?

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

Do you have to go with flowers?? Theres other options that are less expensive, and IMO, kind of nicer (& more original).

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

yeah? like........ I'm listening.....

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

I haven't been in a wedding party in awhile - so I don't know the average. $250 sounds like alot to me for favors, there are def. alternatives-how many people is that for? Also, depending on what kind you get - flowers for centerpieces sounds expensive to me. But again-there are nice alternatives.

I think it would be reasonable for you all to decide on these things together - esp. if you have to contribute. Talk about it now before your bad feelings build up.

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

I love this idea for centerpieces. Instead of flowers you buy things she really will need (mostly cleaning products) like detergent, soap, fantastic spray - well you get the idea, and then attach balloons to them. She'll need the cleaning stuff, not flowers.

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

well I expressed my discontent last night..

the favors are only votive holders with her name and date of the shower printed on them.. I mean..

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

How many people are there - 10 tables of 10?
You can make up baskets and have all the favors in them in the center if the table - that way it doubles as a centerpieces and then just have some cho.'s on the tables or rose pettles

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

One of my very talented girls (monkey luv) for centerpieces did a candle in a vase full of those crystal stones. then put snowflakes on the vase. (winter snowflake theme shower)
it was beautiful...
lets see if i have a picture

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

yeah ten tables of ten....I am liking the candle thing..

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

I'm not sure the color scheme you are going for, or when the shower is going to be... but a couple showers I've gone to, the centerpieces are a bunch of individual potted flowers (i.w. african violets) in a basket... it's a very full looking c.p. and then each person takes one of the pots home with them as a favor. I know African violets are really not that expensive, and since they're both cp and favor, you'll save some $$.

Talk to a local florist about it, they may be able to hook you up good with it, or if you're ok with DIY, you could contact a wholesaler and get them yourself directly. (Only thing is to be careful with using the wholesaler, you want to make sure you get good stuff)

HTH

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

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Posted by 69

well I expressed my discontent last night..

the favors are only votive holders with her name and date of the shower printed on them.. I mean..

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250 is way too much for favours. if you think about it assume all the women will be at the shower and hypothetically speaking, they are half the wedding. that is if there is an even ratio of male:female. one might spend 500 on favours for a wedding, 250 is like that half. way too much for a shower.

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

the violet thing is cool.. unfort.. the other girl did that for her friend and didn't want to copy that... whatever... ahhhhhhh

I couldn't even tell you what has been on the tables at showers.. honestly.... I would have done balloons.. but the bride really hates them.. so that was out....and I have molded chocolate before.. but everyone is on diets now!!!!

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

What if you arranged the candles as a wedding cake, and used them as the centerpiece? Put a little and on the top...

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

You can make favors for much less than $250

As for centerpeices, this is not a wedding, I would just use what the place offers. People want to see the presents and do not need a CP blocking the view. JMO

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

OR-
For our E party, my mom did a 3 tier serving platter with appetizers in the center of each table. It was really cute.

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

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Posted by 69

I was alittle bent out of shape... I mean how much am I spending on this shower.. that doesn't include a gift or the bachelorette party ( and I have been known to throw a really great sioree)....

How much are you guys expecting or have you spent? Am I being cheap?

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hello! when the bridal party is chipping in for the shower, it really can get out of hand with the costs. the party itself should be based on the budget of the persons chipping in, and if flowers and $250 favors are out of the budget, then skip them! there are plenty of alternatives! i believe for my shower, my moh asked my bm's to contribute $140 if they could, and if they could not then to contribute what they can afford. this would cover the restaurant alone if everyone invited shows up and my moh is covering the rest (favors, invites, etc). i am in my brothers wedding and my fsil's sister asked me for $250 before they even picked a place...hell no! i told her i could afford to give $100 as i only make $250 a week (i am a fulltime college student who works a fulltime crap job by day). so i think the cost of things and how much the bp should contribute should be discussed among the bp. does that make sense? ~lacey

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

$250 for shower favors is a lot, unless there are over 100 ppl going.

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

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Posted by lacey&mark

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Posted by 69

I was alittle bent out of shape... I mean how much am I spending on this shower.. that doesn't include a gift or the bachelorette party ( and I have been known to throw a really great sioree)....

How much are you guys expecting or have you spent? Am I being cheap?

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hello! when the bridal party is chipping in for the shower, it really can get out of hand with the costs. the party itself should be based on the budget of the persons chipping in, and if flowers and $250 favors are out of the budget, then skip them! there are plenty of alternatives! i believe for my shower, my moh asked my bm's to contribute $140 if they could, and if they could not then to contribute what they can afford. this would cover the restaurant alone if everyone invited shows up and my moh is covering the rest (favors, invites, etc). i am in my brothers wedding and my fsil's sister asked me for $250 before they even picked a place...hell no! i told her i could afford to give $100 as i only make $250 a week (i am a fulltime college student who works a fulltime crap job by day). so i think the cost of things and how much the bp should contribute should be discussed among the bp. does that make sense? ~lacey

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That's a very nice way to do it! I was in a wedding last year where we threw the shower and it was just finger sandwiches, salads, soda and wine, along with bulk paper goods from Costco pretty much (the other stuff was covered) and we had to pay $150 each for 5 of us. We were flored. There were only like 50-60 people there too and there wasn't a ton of food leftover.

You should definitely decide together, we found all this out 2 days before the shower that was what we owed. We questioned the MOH who did most of the planning and she went and told her sister, the bride, and it caused a large war!!!

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

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Posted by nov06

I love this idea for centerpieces. Instead of flowers you buy things she really will need (mostly cleaning products) like detergent, soap, fantastic spray - well you get the idea, and then attach balloons to them. She'll need the cleaning stuff, not flowers.

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That is a great idea. You could make really lovely baskets and ask guests to bring an item to display on the table.

$250 is a lot for favors. These bath salts (from www.1weddingfavor.com) are less than $2 each:

Re: Am I being cheap? showers... how much should BM's spend if they are helping to pay?

That sounds totally outrageous. For my sister's bridal shower (brunch at Milleridge Inn on 2/29/04) for about 70 people, between me and the lone other BM we paid I think a total of $600. That was food, drinks, favors, prizes for the games, decorations AND the gifts we bought her. Favors were flower shaped bath beads in organza bags. CP's were included - small vase with a few stems and candles.