FMIL - Dress

Ok so, my FMIL went shopping for her gown. I spoke to her that night all excited that she had found a dress. I asked her what color she got and she wouldn't tell me - NOW WHAT? What is that about? She told me she wanted it to be a surprise? What kind of nonsense is that? I feel like she is playing a game with me.. As long as it is not black, white, creme, taupe or beige i dont care what she is wearing. She is not my mother.. Ok, ladies How do I handle this? MY FH thought it was funny and didn't understand why the color of the dress was such a big deal. When I saw her after our conversation, I politely said hello to her and did not continue the conversation.

My first instinct tells me not to even bring it up again, because after all it is my wedding and who really cares what my FMIL is wearing. No one is going to be looking at her, right?

Thanks for the respones..

Re: FMIL - Dress

Tell her that you need to know what color her dress is because you are getting her a corsage and want it to match.

Re: FMIL - Dress

My FMIL told me that she wants to buy a dress that when she walks in the reception hall, she wants everyone to look at her and say 'WOW ' She said she wants to look like shes on the Golden Globes. Whatever Shes eyeing this $2,500 dress Typical for her to try to outdue my mom.

Re: FMIL - Dress

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Posted by Summer05

Tell her that you need to know what color her dress is because you are getting her a corsage and want it to match.

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I agree with this.

Re: FMIL - Dress

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Posted by Summer05

Tell her that you need to know what color her dress is because you are getting her a corsage and want it to match.

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Good idea! Regardless its too late now for her to change her dress. My feeling is as long as it is not white, the FMIL or MOB should be allowed to wear what they choose. Besides, noone will be looking at anyone but the bride!

Still wait for it all to calm down and when it comes time for flowers, say you need to know so you can order her a corsage.


I would be pretty pissed though because its polite for the MOB to have 1st pick of color ....but the whole matching moms and bm's thing is outdated

So dont stress!

Re: FMIL - Dress

I would disagree on the corsage thing. You want her corsage to flow with the colors YOU choose not the color SHE chooses. Its your wedding. If the corsage clashes, say 'Oh well, had you told me what you were wearing, you'd match.

I'm dealing with a similar situation. I know the color of my FMILS dress but she refuses to show it to me telling me it would be a surprise. Mind you, the only thing I asked was that it was not navy blue - my BP is wearing navy and I didnt want them to match. FH saw her dress. Her whole family saw it. Everyone but me. Mind you no matter if it were a hefty bag, I would have told her it was gorgeous because I am just not that stupid. What bothers me is that she actually saw a picture of MY dress. Shouldn't MY dress be the surprise?

My advice? Let it go. If the dress is horrible, everyone will know it. There are more pressing issues for you to be thinking about that day.

Re: FMIL - Dress

and if she does pick a color that matches the bridesmaids...everyone just looks at her and say o y did she (not u) decide to match the bridesmaids... know what i mean

dont worry...ALL EYES ARE ON U THAT DAY!

Re: FMIL - Dress

say you don't like surprises and want to know.

Re: FMIL - Dress

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Posted by Summer05

Tell her that you need to know what color her dress is because you are getting her a corsage and want it to match.

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I agree with this...

Re: FMIL - Dress

Please ignore her. What is she in high school?
She won't tell u. It's a mind game. She knows full well, that not knowing the color of her dress is upsetting u. Put that where back there! Forget it. It's all about u that day!

Re: FMIL - Dress

why does everyone need to nake it so difficult for us! i can stand this surprise guessing game!

Re: FMIL - Dress

i think thats a little messed up to be so picky. thats like 6 different colors she not allowed to have. why does it matter?

Re: FMIL - Dress

I am going thru the same thing. I have to keep reminding my step mom what color not to wear for my wedding because the MOB gets first pick then the FMIL gets 2nd pic then her. For my sister's wedding, she got the same color as my mom and tried to play it off that she was never told the color. Right whatever, I am not standing for the $hit. Tell her you have every right to know the color because the MOB gets first pick in color.

Re: FMIL - Dress

One of my friend MIL did the same thing, she showed up with an ivory dress, that looked like a wedding gown! No body could believe she had the balls to do it, but she did! Tell her you need to know, go with the flower thing!

Re: FMIL - Dress

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Posted by SIBride06

My FMIL told me that she wants to buy a dress that when she walks in the reception hall, she wants everyone to look at her and say 'WOW ' She said she wants to look like shes on the Golden Globes. Whatever Shes eyeing this $2,500 dress Typical for her to try to outdue my mom.

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She realizes that its your big day, right?? People are weird sometimes.

Re: FMIL - Dress

I told her I didn't like surprises, and she said, well it doesn't matter.

I did find out from a 'Source' that it it not the color of my BM's, or the color of my moms. I'm just hoping my mom doesn't change her color last minute. UGh.

Oh, and about the corsage thing, she said that she didn't want a corsage. Another thing to give me grief. What is that about?

Thanks for all your responses and good advice. I appreciate it!

Re: FMIL - Dress

I know this is easier said than done (and I should heed my own advice as my FMIL is looking at a wedding gown and a bright red ballgown) but someone on these boards gave me great advice:

Let her wear what she wants and don't stress about it. If she ends up in a white gown, or something similiar, she'll only look like an a-hole. And she'll be the talk of the party...and the chatter will be about how ridiculous she looks.