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SchmearandGoose
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 503 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2007 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
sooo gorgeous!!!!!
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Sticky situation
My fiance and I are really concerned that we are going to hurt a friend's feelings.
I've been friends with a pair of twins since I was a little girl. We have remained close all these years and my fiance has even gotten to know them quite well.
However, one of the twins is much closer to both my fiance and I. He is the one that we usually call to make plans or to seek advice from. He is one of my best friends and very close to my fiance. His brother usually tags along when we get together and is very dear to us, yet not quite as close.
My question is, how do we ask one brother to be in the wedding party and not the other? Though its apparent we are closer to one, I'm not sure that the other brother actually realizes that and we really don't want to hurt his feelings.
Any advice?
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Posted 1/23/06 7:26 AM 
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Sweets14
All you need is love!!
Member since 9/05 1520 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/7/2009 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Estate at East Wind
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Re: Sticky situation
If it was me, honestly i would probably ask both.
Message edited 1/23/2006 7:44:50 AM.
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Posted 1/23/06 7:43 AM
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Ser29
Joe's girl
Member since 1/05 1513 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/14/2007 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: Sticky situation
I feel the same.. i'd have both
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Posted 1/23/06 7:55 AM
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JazzyT
Party Like a Rock Star!!
Member since 11/05 7204 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
El Caribe
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Re: Sticky situation
I'd ask both since they are both your friends and just not to cause hard feelings
Message edited 1/23/2006 8:51:11 AM.
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Posted 1/23/06 8:50 AM
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enjft
I am married!
Member since 7/05 8806 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/2/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Sticky situation
I agree with above.
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Posted 1/23/06 9:00 AM
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futrmrsblt
I'm a wife!
Member since 12/05 1887 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/28/2007 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Timber Point- A++++
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Re: Sticky situation
If you are truly closer to one more then the other, I'd say just ask the one brother and let the other brother have another task at the wedding such as handing out programs,etc.. include him in your wedding but not as a groomsman.
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Posted 1/23/06 9:06 AM
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Blu-ize
My House
Member since 8/04 8305 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/28/1998 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
East Meadow Jewish Center
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Re: Sticky situation
No way around it...ask both.
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Posted 1/23/06 9:28 AM
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Soon2BeMrsD
FH and Our Lil baby *Mookiee*
Member since 11/05 2058 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/28/2007 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Somewhere far away...
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Re: Sticky situation
that is a hard situation, if i had to make that decision i would honestly just ask both, as to not harm anyones feelings and keep the peace...thats JIMHO tho 
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Posted 1/23/06 9:50 AM
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Love4Eva
&hearts LOVE the Married LIfe!
Member since 12/05 4961 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/23/2007 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill Caterers
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Re: Sticky situation
i would ask both - its only fair - do you have an extra girl to pair him with?
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Posted 1/23/06 10:10 AM
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lisaslove
Married life is amazing!!!!
Member since 8/05 3168 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/31/2007 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow A +++ Beautiful!!
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Re: Sticky situation
Posted by Blu-ize
No way around it...ask both.
i agree also
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Posted 1/23/06 10:27 AM
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BernandRob
I'm married
Member since 10/05 1633 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/20/2007 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Sticky situation
Posted by lisaslove
Posted by Blu-ize
No way around it...ask both.
i agree also
agree
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Posted 1/23/06 10:34 AM
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Tiggeruth
Happy :-)
Member since 12/05 2578 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/6/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow :)
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Re: Sticky situation
I think you should just ask them both.
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Posted 1/23/06 11:58 AM
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kam0813
FH <3's my punk sensibilities
Member since 7/05 4867 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor<3<3<3
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Re: Sticky situation
i agree with the other girls...there really is no other way around it...you're going to have to ask both
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Posted 1/23/06 12:25 PM
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MalteseMommy
I am FINALLY Mrs. N!!!
Member since 1/06 2505 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/7/2007 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Sticky situation
I would ask them both as well.
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Posted 1/23/06 12:25 PM
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JGirl11297
I'm a Wife!!!!
Member since 9/04 1083 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/2/2007 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Flowerfield A++++++
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Re: Sticky situation
I also agree...you should just ask them both
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Posted 1/23/06 12:27 PM
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werock0709
More in love than ever!!!
Member since 12/05 8533 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/6/2007 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
SandCastle
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Re: Sticky situation
Posted by Blu-ize
No way around it...ask both.
I agree with her. Thats a tough thing to do.Good Luck!!
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Posted 1/23/06 1:20 PM
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Lissy3077
1 year already!!!
Member since 9/05 6260 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/30/2007 2:45 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Sticky situation
i would ask both!!!
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Posted 1/23/06 2:39 PM
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jnrrb
1 1/2 months to go :-)
Member since 1/06 1054 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/18/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: Sticky situation
If you don't have the room to ask both to be in the party, tell them both together that I only have room for one of you to be in the party so I am going to put both of your names in a hat and the name I pick out I would like to ask to be in the party, BUT before you talk to them you have to do a little setup. Put the name you want in the hat first, stick it to one side of the hat so you know where it is. Then when everybody is together make sure they see you write both of there names and put it in the hat, then when you pick out the name you pick the paper that was already in the hat stuck the the side and that is your person Then to play it safe right after you pick the name tell them you have to go to the bathroom and throw the names away.
Or
You can ask them both 
Message edited 1/23/2006 3:00:49 PM.
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Posted 1/23/06 3:00 PM
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ZuzusPetals
It's A Sickness!
Member since 12/05 6118 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/15/2007 1:30 PM
Wed. Location:
A Wonderful Place
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Re: Sticky situation
It seems as if asking both is really not an option for you. I would tell both twins that they are very dear to you. Ask the one brother to be in the party and ask the other to do a reading. Good Luck!
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Posted 1/23/06 3:17 PM
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SchmearandGoose
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 503 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2007 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
sooo gorgeous!!!!!
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Re: Sticky situation
Thanks to everyone who gave me advice, I'm going to have to keep thinking about this one until I really come up with a decision. I'll keep you posted. But please, I'd still like to get more opinions and hear different POVs. Thanks again...
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Posted 1/23/06 4:34 PM
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chrissyandvin
Our New HOME!!!!
Member since 1/06 7745 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/31/2007 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Villa Lombardi's
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Re: Sticky situation
yeah i think you may hurt the brothers feelings.. I don't think you have a choice sweetie...
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Posted 1/23/06 6:16 PM
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haleyzcomet
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 10/05 1345 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2007 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
The East Wind's Country Gardens
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Re: Sticky situation
Posted by ZuzusPetals
It seems as if asking both is really not an option for you. I would tell both twins that they are very dear to you. Ask the one brother to be in the party and ask the other to do a reading. Good Luck!
I agree
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Posted 1/23/06 6:21 PM
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bride2b24
~Married and loving it!~
Member since 12/05 4402 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonards of Great Neck
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Re: Sticky situation
yeah id def go with both 
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Posted 1/23/06 7:16 PM
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LorinElizabeth
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 360 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/8/2007 2:45 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked!
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Re: Sticky situation
Posted by futrmrsblt
If you are truly closer to one more then the other, I'd say just ask the one brother and let the other brother have another task at the wedding such as handing out programs,etc.. include him in your wedding but not as a groomsman.
ditto. If anything talk to the brother you're closer to first and ask if he thinks his bro would mind
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Posted 1/23/06 8:05 PM
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SchmearandGoose
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 503 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2007 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
sooo gorgeous!!!!!
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Re: Sticky situation
Definitely. I'm going to talk to my (closer) friend before doing anything, either way. See, I feel that I wouldn't particularly mind the other brother since I was the one that grew up with him.
But my fiance feels he would prefer to have people that he personally feels close to as groomsmen and he doesn't feel close to brother #2.
Is it even my decision or is it his?
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Posted 1/23/06 8:56 PM
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