Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

that the majority of them would have attended a wedding if they knew there wouldn't be dinner, drinks, music, etc?

NOT including immediate family and bestest friends...

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

to answer my own question: NO, I don't think the couple who brought their adult son as a crasher and gave me $65 from all 3 of them would have attended my wedding if they knew there wouldn't be dinner, drinks, etc.

In fact, they told my mother 'we had our son stop by for dinner since he was in the neighborhood'

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

ok, those people are just ignorant. MY BIL didn't give a gift-he got a thank you. He's not ignorant. I'm still waiting for our gift which he says he will give us one day.

I don't go to people's weddings for any reason except to attend their wedding. Feed me or don't feed me, if I can go, I go.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

I'd never thought of this before. I really don't know - most likely not. A few people outside of the family and best friend grouping might out of curiousity...

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

Well, I don't think I could answer because everyone, with the exception of a couple who went in place of DH's grandparent's cousins, was close family or friends. We had a small wedding and knew everyone there (except for aforementioned couple). So I do think that they would have gone regardless of the fact that there was food and drinks. Actually, I know that some were embarrased that it was so 'fancy' because they under-dressed which leads me to believe that they were there to share with us and were not expecting a freebie 'night out'.

ETA: But we purposely made our guest list small because we wanted to avoid those who would have gone for the free meal. Sadly they exist. So we didn't invite them.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

That's a Fascinating question. I absolutely never thought about it that way.

I'm gonna say that a lot of them probably wouldn't have come if there weren't free dinner and dancing involved. Bestest friends and some family would've come, but my guest list would've been much more manageable.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

I think of it this way: More than half of our 'wedding' guests only came to the reception.

As DH warned me, his friends 'just don't go to the church.' Our wedding day had some logistical challenges, but those who wanted to overcome them, overcame them.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

---

Posted by lilacwine

I think of it this way: More than half of our 'wedding' guests only came to the reception.

---

You're exactly right! We only had, I'd say, maybe 50 people at our ceremony. We understood that the elderly and sick (my aunt is very sick) would go straight to the reception because it was a bit of a hike from our church. But, SO MANY others skipped my ceremony completely. I was really surprised. And, a little disappointed.

ets: okay, we have an aeriel shot of our ceremony and I just scanned it quickly. Looks like we had approx 65 ceremony guests. But, we had 127 at the reception...

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

Oh, if we're talking about who went to the church forget it. My church was empty. But it was a Friday afternoon and not everyone could take off from work. Those who wanted to be there were...

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

I was actually amazed by the amount of people who came to church. We were shocked and felt really loved!

I think, of course, some random family friends probably wouldn't have come if not for freebies but on the whole, 95% were happy and proud to see us on our finest day.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

Everyone went to the ceremony and reception in my case.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

I'm not resentful of those who didn't give me gifts. A lot of them were not in a position to give, and i understand.

But everyone, without exception should have given a card to congratulate us. I don't care if they got construction paper and crayons (I had two people do that) we would have appreciated it.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

---

Posted by PrincessRose

That's a Fascinating question. I absolutely never thought about it that way.

I'm gonna say that a lot of them probably wouldn't have come if there weren't free dinner and dancing involved. Bestest friends and some family would've come, but my guest list would've been much more manageable.

---

If I remember correctly I barely ate my meal anyway!

But to answer the question, my mother is one woman who is totally motivated by food. If you're getting married in a place where she doesn't care for the food she better like you a REAL LOT or she won't go. She even threatened not to attend my bridal shower if it was held in a certain restaurant. and I'm her only child!!

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

Well, honestly, I can't imagine spending 4 or 5 hours in one place without having any food or music. What's the point? That's how I look at it. I'm going to be hungry AND bored. That's my honest truth. So NO, i would expect no one to come if I had nothing for them.

ETA: I think we're all guilty of a 'what's in it for me' attitude on some level, so I can't blame anyone for feeling that way.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

since our wedding was only close family and friends, and most of the guests were from OOT, I would have to say that I really don't think anyone came JUST for the drinks and food.

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

My DH's family comprised at least 2/3 of the reception group. Originally, I only wanted up to 50 people - but he HAD to invite aunts/uncles and of course cousins.
I would have preferred a smaller event in a fabulous restaurant - but it was his wedding too.
Now, I wish I had been more resolute in my decision and kept it small. Most of his side I only met once and will probably not see again until the next wedding. Such an expense!
All I wanted was to have a church ceremony(which few people came to), look fabulous and have wonderful dinner with the immediate family.
Yes, the extendeds come, party and give what (I hope) they can afford.
The saying that 'you make it all back at the wedding' is so untrue.
Brides should never be told this!!

Re: Okay, so we all invited our guests because we wanted *them* to be at our wedding, regardless of a gift...but do you really think...

DH has a few friends that asked first if it was an open bar before they responded that they were coming, I told DH he should of lied and said it was a cash bar to see what would happen, he said he knew that they wouldnt have come if it wasnt an open bar.