So why am I so sad

My whole childhood and teenage years I have planned my wedding and here it is. I have the best guy in the world, I am so happy to be with him but I hate planning my wedding.

Everything is drama. Our parents promised to stand outside of the planning so that we could do it ourselves. Well that's not happening!

My mom freaked out because we have used to many of my Soon to be in laws friends as vendors, yet she freaked before because I ask her for help and for recommendations. His parents have a guest list that includes their fellow workers, we want a small wedding at 150 people max. Everyone has made a face because I wont get married in a church. My bridesmaids want to pick out their dresses, I don't even have mine!

I hate this whole thing and from the very start (before any fighting) I asked my guy if we could go to city hall and keep it at that. He said that I would be happy after the wedding and that it will be worth the trouble. I don't want this wedding, it is too much money and I really feel that it is a waste of my time. Not only that by my guy takes that back seat all the time leaving me to make the calls and deal with the parents. I feel that if he wants this wedding so bad he should take over and plan it.

What do I do? Do I have to have this huge wedding? Mind you its in june of 2007 so I have a long way to go...

Re: So why am I so sad

Hire a coordinator who'll represent you. Let her do all the dirty work including putting your family in line!

:) I hear you can get one for 1-2k. It's not really that expensive and you'll have less headache in the process.

Re: So why am I so sad

---

Posted by Tibbar75

My whole childhood and teenage years I have planned my wedding and here it is. I have the best guy in the world, I am So happy to be with him but I hate planning my wedding. Everything is drama. OUr parents promised to stand outside of the planning and that we can do it ourselves. Well that's not happening! My mom freaked out because we have used to many of my In Laws friends as vendors, she freaks because I ask her for help and recommendations. His parents have a guest list including their fellow workers. Everyone has made a face because I wont get married in a church. My bridesmaids want to pick out their dresses, I don't even have mine! I hate this whole thing and from the very start I asked my guy if we could go to city hall and keep it at that. He said that I would be happy after the wedding, but will not help me. I don't want this wedding, it is too much money and I really feel that it is a waste of my time. What do I do?

---

Wow, almost sounds like I wrote this except FH is helping out a lot.

I suggest you really think about it before booking anything. We took a LONG time to finally book and it's because I was hoping FH would change his mind about the big wedding. We were to get married on the beach in Mexico - 2/19/06 in fact - with about 20 friends/family members in attendance

Now we are having big wedding in NY with tons of people invited I think I will be happy that we had the wedding and FH is convinced that I would regret going to city hall (which I think is true). I would have been happy in Mexico though and without shelling out thousands for a Long Island wedding

Really think about what would make you both happy

Re: So why am I so sad

take a break from it. get a massage. then go back to wedding stuff in a few weeks. if you do it all at once you'll go nuts.

Re: So why am I so sad

I think FH and you have to sit down and really think about what you guys both want! Talk about a budget, and pick your vendors together (you should not be doing all the planning alone).

I really hope that everything changes real soon for you guys and you start to enjoy this planning process because it could be the best time! It is so much fun shopping with the girls looking for dresses and then doing lunch; or going to see a vendor with FH and then having dinner together and talking about it.

If your girls want to pick different dresses maybe you should think about picking a certain color and designer, and then having your girls pick out their own dress from that. I heard a lot of girls here on LIW say that they are going to do that. Just an idea.

Re: So why am I so sad

This post sounds like something I would have wrote about 1 month ago! Stay strong and make sure whatever you choose, your FH and you dont argue too much over this. That happened to us for a month straight and our relationship suffered for a bit. We took a short weekend vacation and promised not to mention the word wedding during that time. Now we are both 'healed' from the stress and slowly getting back into things. please hang in there... you have so much support on this site. Relax your braid and promise eachother you wont mention the word 'wedding' for another 2 weeks so you can bo heal your minds. make sure you tell your parents and FIL the same thing... you should only plan when you are excited to plan.

Re: So why am I so sad

you have PLENTY of time before your wedding. i think you should take a BREAK from planning for a little while and not deal with it at all. when we have sooo much time between the planning and the actual date---we sometimes overwhelm ourselves too much, too fast. (i was engaged March of last year--and getting married next feb. so i know where you are coming from)

you really need to sit down with your FH and explain how you feel. i know it might sound drastic--but have you considered just doing the city hall thing just for you two--and not telling anyone. that way you are already married, and there's not as much pressure! obviously this is rather extreme--but you just sound so bummed about the wedding.

i'm truly sorry you have to deal with all the drama but like i said--take a break and not do anything wedding related for a month or two. i mean with over a year to go--you really don't have to work round the clock right now.