Wearing Mother-in-law's dress

I'm getting married in two months and I was suppose to wear my mother's wedding dress, but it recently became unwearable in a flood. I was really upset about it so my future mother-in-law gave me her wedding dress to wear. This means an awful lot to me, being that she has her own daughters that haven't gotten married yet and she prefers to give the gown to me. I really appreciated it and accepted the dress. The problem now is I hate the dress. It's completely ugly, doesn't fit right and not something I would wear at all. Should I give it back and buy a new dress or should I suck it up and wear it? I would hate to start off on the wrong foot with the in-laws

Re: Wearing Mother-in-law's dress

Maybe you could pay a dress maker to fix it up a way that you would like it?

Re: Wearing Mother-in-law's dress

I would tell her that as much as it has touched you to be giving the chance to wear her dress because it doesn't fit properly on you and is not flattering to your shape you would like to see about getting something that does. Ithink she would want you to be beautiful on that day and happy and comfortable in the dress that you wear.

Re: Wearing Mother-in-law's dress

---

Posted by msnora

I would tell her that as much as it has touched you to be giving the chance to wear her dress because it doesn't fit properly on you and is not flattering to your shape you would like to see about getting something that does. Ithink she would want you to be beautiful on that day and happy and comfortable in the dress that you wear.

---

Agreed

Re: Wearing Mother-in-law's dress

There is no easy answer to this. I believe that this is your day and that you should feel beautiful, even if that means telling your future mother in law that you will buy your own dress. I would tell her that I am beyond flattered that she would offer you her dress but you want to wear something different. Have you told your FI???

Good Luck!!! Whatever you wear I am sure that you will lokk beautiful!

Re: Wearing Mother-in-law's dress

Wow, that's a tough one...I don't know how close you are to your FMIL, but if you can talk to her at all, here's what I would say.
'I'm so honored that you would allow me to wear your wedding dress, before your daughters even have a chance to get married. I accepted it at first because of this, and because I was in complete shock that my future mother in law cared about me enough to offer up her own dress. And now that I've had a chance to try it on, and think about things, I realize that for me to wear this dress, I would have to alter it and completely change it for the look and feel I want for my wedding. And under those circumstances I wouldn't feel right accepting this dress when your daughter's might want to wear it when their time comes and it will be completely different from the way you had it. So I think the best thing for me would be to find a dress that's right for me. But I would love for you to be w/ me every step of the way!'
Reiterate (sp?) how much you appreciated the gesture, and what it means to you. But also mention that you wanted to be honest, while not hurting any feelings. I would say something really gentle along those lines and definitly involve her a lot in your dress shopping and planning! Good luck!

Re: Wearing Mother-in-law's dress

Thank you all for replying so soon. In response to your comments: I am very close with my FMIL so if I gave the dress back she wouldn't hold it against me for years, but she would be dissapointed and might even take it personally. Like because I wanted to wear my mother's dress and not hers I like my mother better than her. It's not true 'cause she's like my second mother. She has done a lot for me over the years, she has always been there for me and I wanted to make her happy, but I can't wear that dress. I talked to my fiance about it and he wants me to wear the dress, but would understand if I didn't. He says he wants me to be happy with whatever I wear that day. So I think I'm leaning towards giving the dress back, but trying to match the veil with a new dress. So that way i'm still wearing a part of her dress.