What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

So, you guys know I am a Brooklyn barbarian LOL with no idea about the rules of etiquette, so I need some help.

Yesterday we received a decline from my beloved Uncle Tom that lives in Australia (sidebar: how is it possible that I received an RSVP from AUSTRALIA before 90% of the rest of them...that are in the STATE let alone the same country! )

anyway, I digress....so he was so kind as to give us a check. I guess my question is a 2-part...

1) when should I deposit the check (should I wait until after the wedding??)

2) when do I send the thank you? ( I obviously don't have my wedding thank yous yet.) Can I send him 2- one now thanking him, and then an 'official' wedding thank you, which will probably have a photo...?

TIA

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

I would deposit the check, I never liked it when people held my checks, it messed up my accounts, and send a thank you note right away, even if it's not the official wedding thank you note.

You can always send him one of those after the wedding, thanking him again and wishing that he was there to share in your special day.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

Ouch.. This is a toughie..

I would deposit the check asap, but wait until AFTER the wedding to send the thank you card, so it can be signed by Mr & Mrs....so & so.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

I would deposit the check when you get a chance-I know I hate outstanding checks and send him a t/y now and another w/ the photo when you get them.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

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Posted by JessicaM.

So, you guys know I am a Brooklyn barbarian LOL with no idea about the rules of etiquette, so I need some help.

Yesterday we received a decline from my beloved Uncle Tom that lives in Australia (sidebar: how is it possible that I received an RSVP from AUSTRALIA before 90% of the rest of them...that are in the STATE let alone the same country! )

anyway, I digress....so he was so kind as to give us a check. I guess my question is a 2-part...

1) when should I deposit the check (should I wait until after the wedding??)

2) when do I send the thank you? ( I obviously don't have my wedding thank yous yet.) Can I send him 2- one now thanking him, and then an 'official' wedding thank you, which will probably have a photo...?

TIA

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Proper etiquette says to send a thank you w/in 3 weeks of receiving a gift. This way, the sender knows you received it. Buy some nice thank you cards (such as those you would use for bridal showers) and write him a thank you and let your FH sign it as well (if he wishes). Then deposit the check, so one: it doesn't get lost and two: your uncle knows it was cashed - and won't bounce.

This is what was told to me by my Mother about gifts that have come in from my family before the wedding.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

We deposited the checks and I wrote the thank you's when I received the gift.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

I would deposit the check now and send a thank you note to Uncle Tom. This way he knows you received his gift and appreciate it. If you are sending out photo thank yous after the wedding, you can send him a picture then.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

I'm in the same boat - I've received some checks that I need to cash. My mom told me to do the following:

Cash them, send them a QUICK thanks as an acknowledgement and say that you would like to send them a formal thank you and photo so they can still share the day after the wedding.

I got two pretty big checks so I think it warrants a little something.....darn, now you just reminded me to go do it!

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

I would deposit the check, I never liked it when people held my checks, it messed up my accounts, and send a thank you note right away, even if it's not the official wedding thank you note.

You can always send him one of those after the wedding, thanking him again and wishing that he was there to share in your special day.

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I agree 100%

- deposit the check
- send a thank you card now (hand written) and personalized
- send another thank you note when you get the official ones.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

I just read something on this the other day - I think in Dear Abby It said to send a thank you w/in a month and NOT to wait till after the wedding. You can deposit the check now. I think sending another picture thank you after the wedding is a nice thought

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

send a thank you right away
you can send them a photo afterwards if you want to- but if not, just send the thank you and tell them you are sorry they will miss the event but you are very grateful for the gift

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

I had the same thing happen. I deposited the check and called to thank the giver. I plan on sending them a thank you w/ our picture once those all go out.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

Definitely deposit the check right away, and send a Thank You and your regrets that he will not be able to attend...what a nice uncle you have...

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

I know with business checks they only allow certain time to deposit from the date on the check. I don't know if this holds true with personal checks. I think it is wrong not to send a thank you now just to let them know that you got the check. They will be wondering for months whether you got it or not!

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

We have experienced this also...I have deposited the checks & send a 'informal' thank you but they are on the list for 'official' thank yous for the wedding...

you don't want the gift giver to think their thoughtfulness went unnoticed!

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

We deposited the checks we received prior to the wedding and then I sent a thank you to let people know we received them. I plan on then sending some of the people picture thank yous.

Re: What is the 'proper' etiquette for receiving an early wedding gift?

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

I would deposit the check, I never liked it when people held my checks, it messed up my accounts, and send a thank you note right away, even if it's not the official wedding thank you note.

You can always send him one of those after the wedding, thanking him again and wishing that he was there to share in your special day.

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I agree.