not sure what to do (long, sorry!)

Hi ladies- I need some help. I was away all weekend and FH was doing some 'thinking'. (we all know how this turns out when they do that) and basically he gave it to me last night-background is, my brother got married in July last year and they are still in the apartment that they rented and are in some bad debt and don't have the money to move out, etc. We have been thinking of moving to the carolina's when we get married. FH makes great money at his job and as do I. We can def. afford to stay on LI without a doubt, but don't want to. Both of our jobs have places in the carolinas we can transfer to. So basically, FH wants to get married and have a little party later on, but save all the money on the wedding and just buy a house in NC. I can't go anywhere yet because I don't have enough experience so we wouldn't be going anywhere until a year or so. I think we can have the weddings we want and move, he says no. I am torn because I want to go, but I also want the wedding I am planning. I know what he says makes sense, but I can't give up something that I have been looking forward to for so long!

Re: not sure what to do (long, sorry!)

The truth is that u can't take a girl wedding day away form he. I would discuss it withi and tell him that you stillw ant a wedding but keep it small ( if that is possible)
Its a tough situation that you are in but you only get married once ( hopefully). I wish you luck hun.. xoxo...

Re: not sure what to do (long, sorry!)

You know my FH didn't want a wedding at all!!! He wanted to just go to city hall. He just thinks spending all this money is crazy. Well he gave in, but I compromised on some things. No church, no engagement party (he totally shot me down on that one) And I might not even have a RD....
He wants NO extras, he wants to save wherever we can. Well as a woman I TOTALLY understand you. Most guys have a diff. mind set when it comes to weddings. If this wedding is something you can't go without let him know exactly how you feel. Cut corners where you can, show him you can do it without breaking the bank. I have a friend who got married in Vegas for about 10K (it was a big wedding with about 70 people coming)
That's the only advice I can give you, be honest tell him this is something you've always dreamed of. Good luck!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty

Re: not sure what to do (long, sorry!)

I know exactly where you and FH are coming from. We are in the same boat. We are also thinking of leaving here, we can't afford it - but we also decided to go ahead and bust our behinds to have the wedding we want. Or maybe it's the one I want. Sometimes I don't even know.
Anyway, is it possible to to w/the move and have your wedding in NC possibly next year. You could have a big affair down there that would cost less money and still have the best of both worlds. Sure it might be another year or 2 but when we are w/the person we want to spend the rest of our lives w/ sometimes we have to make sacrifices.
I know that from experience. I have been engaged for 3 1/2 years. I couldn't jump the boat and some days I still bite my nails.

Re: not sure what to do (long, sorry!)

The thing is, I know that we can do both. We both make great money. He just thinks that it is a waste of money and that we are never going to get ahead (based on my brother's situation-but I keep telling him we are NOTHING like them). Its just so hard. I want to do what he wants to do but at the sametime I can't give up this wedding!! LOL-I want my cake and I want to eat it to! And why can't I?

Re: not sure what to do (long, sorry!)

what if you revamped your budget and did things smaller/more affordable??this way your not spending too much and can still buy a house?i know how it is, sometimes im like this is crazy we should get a house, but i dont want to regret not having our big day, so we just budgeted down and its working out great...talk to FH and tell him how ur feeling, compromise compromise, thats the best way IMHO