What should I say? (invite related)

So one day while visting with my daughter's grandparents (ex's family) they expressed interest in attending our wedding. The grandfather, who has begun dabbling in photography, even offered to do our photos.....I would never. I told him we already have someone booked and paid up (half true, we haven't paid up yet..hee)

Here's the thing, this wasn't an amicable thing, he didn't die suddenly and I'm not really close to them....so what do I tell them when they start asking where their invite is??? They are absolutely NOT invited....it would be weird, painful and awkward for all involved...and just not something I'd even considered.

I don't want to come off as mean because maybe they feel they are that close to us....they used to help me out (even after the split) with groceries from time to time for my daughter when $ was tight and I truly appreciate that and have let them know that, but they are not that close to us (me and FH) in my opinion and not invited.

Re: What should I say? (invite related)

Sorry, I wrote you a reply but it disappeared!

Do you see them on a regular basis? Is your daughter in the wedding? Have they hinted about being invited?

Maybe you could just say I am so sorry but since it is a second wedding we need to keep it really small and I can't invite everyone I would have liked to. But I appreciate your good wishes...

Don't want to blame it on your FH and say he would be uncomfortable...

Maybe someone who has been through this already can be more helpful. How bout it ladies?

Re: What should I say? (invite related)

thanks. they have a semi-steady contact with my daughter.

i agree, i wouldn't want to say it will make anyone uncomfortable....then they would wonder why they make people uncomfortable!

the tight budget/intimate wedding idea could work.

my daughter is the flower girl.

they have hinted about, they've even out right said they want to come. I'd kind of pushed that to the back of my head but FMIL asked me if they still think they're coming...it made me start thinking about it again and how even though our invites are already out, it will be close to the normal time to send them out soon....I also can't remember if they know roughly when it is either so I've just been careful to NOT talk anything wedding to them....even when they ask how the planning is, i brush it off like it's no big deal (when in reality, some days it's all i think about.).

Re: What should I say? (invite related)

>> even when they ask how the planning is, i brush it off like it's no big deal <<

That might be the ticket, keep working that angle when they ask, just say well it's not a lot to do, after all it's just a small second wedding, not like the first one!..

Then if they do ask you could seem surprised, you could even indicate your FIL's are footing much of the bill and you aren't at liberty to extend the guest list...

Honestly, I wish you luck, it must be stressful to think about it every time you visit with your daughter! Hope it all works out!

Re: What should I say? (invite related)

thanks ladies....you've given me a lot of helpful advice. they are coming up to LI soon to visit her and I feel I will need to be ready to answer the questions then!