Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

Hi everyone, just wondering if there are other brides like me out there ...

At the beginning of the process I wanted feedback from the bridesmaids and talked to them once or twice a week. But one of them became abit judgemental and started questioning many of my ideas left and right. She even went so far as calling LIW a cult. :P

Needless to say I withdrew and talked less to her and my other two bridesmaid were too busy, one had surgery recently and another is a busy first time mother... FH also doesn't help 'cus he feels wedding planning is a women's job. :P

Anyone feel abit overwhelmed doing everything themselves?

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

yea me and my mom are doing all the planning, and im still a full time student, its hard, u get a lot of criticisim, but go with ur heart, whatever you love you do it, its your wedding day. Just be happy and dont let the wedding get to you, in the end all that matters is that you love ur fiance and he loves u, and you both truly want to be with each other, although i too am i perfectionist, and try not to be bridezilla like lol. anyways good luck!

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

yes - me. but i don't necessarily feel like i need feedback from the bm. it's mostly fh. i wish he would give me more input, opinions, etc. when i ask him what he thinks or what he likes, he just says that he doesn't mind what i choose to do. it's very difficult to bear the burden of making ALL the decisions.

we got in a big fight yesterday b/c of it. i make all the appointments and all i expect of him is to show up and give me feedback. but even that can be a challenge. something either comes up where he can't come (def not deliberate) or he just gives me his usual response of anything that i choose is good.

and i'm starting 2L in about 2 weeks and i don't wanna be stressed out in that time - plus work. it's a lot. i'd involve my mom more, but she is very opinionated (and not necessarily in a good way), and that makes me even more stressed b/c we butt heads a lot. i know what you are talking about. i feel like i'm doing this all by myself.

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

My gal and I just started our planning. We're pretty non-traditional and we're going to be on a relatively tight budget. Our biggest focus is to have a great party that sort of expresses our personalities.

Budgeting has been the hardest thing for us so far. We're starting to realize what we can and cannot afford and it seems to be VERY overwhelming to (her) and just sort of dissapointing to (me).

All in all, we're just looking for a good time :)
I'm hoping that if we can stay focused on a few 'must have' items or themes to the wedding, everything will fall into place...

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

sounds just like my wedding planning. sorry sweetie!

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

I am basically doing everything on my own as well. My BM's are awesome and will be there for me whenever I need them, but I really try not to ask for much help, because I know I will need them more as we get closer to the wedding, and they will be planning my shower with my mom. So I try not to involve them with limo shopping, invitations, flowers, and things like that. FH is involved as much as he can be. He works about 80-90 hours a week, so he really does not have the time, so I don't bother him at all! He calls me all the time and asks me how things are coming, and he puts his input in whenever he feels strongly about something. And I usually take his ideas into consideration since he does not ask for much. My sister (MOH) and my mom are definitely the most involved, but other than that, I pretty much did everything on my own. But I am fine with it. The hardest part was just making the decisions to do certain things and being ok with some people criticizing it, and then being able to stand by my initial decision and telling them this is the way FH & I want it.

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

I am also doing everything on my own. When we first started planning everyone said they would help out, but that hasnt happened. I am completely overwhelmed and nervous since all the decisions are mine and if something goes wrong its my choice and I have to deal with it. I cant wait until the wedding so I can start really enjoying this whole planning experience.

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

Yea, its pretty much my mother and I doing the planning. I am the first cousin to get married and the first of my friends to get married so no one knows anything about it and doesn't have as great of an interest as I do. Its ok though, I like being in control Just try to do the best you can and give some people jobs that won't require too much planning but can get them involved. Have BM's and FH stuff envelopes or help you with your DIYs.

good luck !

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

Me, my fiance, my mom, and my sister. We are doing a good job if I do say so myself.

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

I did EVERYTHING myself...from researching vendors to coordinating appointments, working everything out with everyone's schedule (there were too many cooks in the kitchen in terms of opinions...) I tracked RSVPs, mailed invites, organized everyone with charts. BUT, all those cooks had no problem complaining when they didn't like the way I was doing something!

I asked my BM to help me with two things along the way...stuffing invites and doing favors. For invites, I got one of them to 'help' for an hour. For favors, two of them came. I was really disappointed overall because one bailed at the last minute and the rest gave me bogus excuses. I thought that was part of the job of a bridesmaid but maybe I'm wrong....

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

It is very overwhelming....

I too am planning everything on my own, and am the point that it is very stressful.

Not to mention all the family drama that is going down... it all becomes too much. but in the end i know it will all work out.. and regardless of what ANYONE says... i am doing what I want.. and thats the bottom line.

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

Mom and i basically did everything, but i had my sisters help tremendously. Toward the end a few of my bridesmaids came together and helped out a ton - i was losing my mind, they had not choice!!

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

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Posted by missigreg

It is very overwhelming....

I too am planning everything on my own, and am the point that it is very stressful.

Not to mention all the family drama that is going down... it all becomes too much. but in the end i know it will all work out.. and regardless of what ANYONE says... i am doing what I want.. and thats the bottom line.

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My thoughts EXACTLY!!

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

I did everything myself (the only person that cared to provide non-judgmental input was DH) and though it was stressful, I am happy I did it that way. The wedding reflected my taste, not anyone else's, and made it that more special.

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

i did most of it myself and my mom helped out on the final decisions b/c she was paying. DH helped when he came to be with me 5 weeks before the wedding.

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

I'm mainly doing all the wedding planning myself but FH is happy to help when I want an opinion of something so that has worked out well so far. Haven't really bounced many idea's off my BM's yet but it's still early in the game for me

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

Nope I did it all myself. Me & DH

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

i did absolutely everything myself! my mom works more than i do...my MOH/sister was in her senior year of college at the time and i didnt want to put even more pressure on her...my 2 other sisters have 5 kids between them so i knew they were pretty much useless...my SIL is always out...my 2 other BM's don't live really close to me so i couldnt really bombard them with questions!

which left little old me to do everything and you know what, i preferred it that way! too many cooks spoil the broth! and no way in hell was i gonna let my broth spoil!!!!!

i had a DOC for the day of so that i could relax and enjoy, but the planning process was all me!

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

I have done all the planning on my own. NOT fun.

Re: Anyone Doing All The Wedding Planning Themselves??

I am doing most of the wedding planning myself. I am however fortunate enough to have a FH who doesn't mind going to appointments with me. But I only schedule appointments after I've already spoken to the vendor, asked some key questions about pricing and availability, etc. Once I narrow things down to 2 or 3, I tell FH and he then comes with me to see what they offer.

I also started sending my BM's ideas about my wedding on a weekly basis. Keep in mind that you are the ONLY one who is ever going to as excited about this wedding as you are because, well, it's YOURS. With that understood, I try to limit the bridal excitement that I expose them too so they don't loose interest or become too overwhelmed too early on. Planning a wedding can be stressful, but it can also be lots and lots of fun (how many chances do we get to have make-up/hair trials over and over again? But you CAN do this by yourself - it is VERY possible.

I see that you have about 14 months until your big day. Take the 400+ days you have left and try to space everything in a way that lets you enjoy the planning process without going crazy. Most brides-to-be leave a lot of things until the last minute (like favors, seating charts, etc.) which makes it very difficult to focus on the day ahead. Use your time wisely and vent your stress when you need to - it will help more than you know.

Of course, you can always come here and get advice/help from any of us. I wouldn't mind helping a fellow bride with her plans and I'm sure I'm not the only one.