Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

I would still give a gift regarless if I had to pay travel/toll/airfare expenses.
If someone does give me less of a gift because of this then I wouldn't mind at all- I know some are not used to NY weddings.

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

I give what I can afford.

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

i went to a wedding in puerto rico last november. the trip cost over 2,000 so i only gave a 200 gift. but that was for me alone. and i thought it was more then enough since i spent so much money to fly there and stay there for a week of wedding fun

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

we went to an OOT wedding in PA. the bride and my dh have known each other since they were about 4. i think we gave $300.

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

I would only go if I was extremely close to that person. I would just give a little bit less of a gift.

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

I always do cash/check. Gift can be too much to transport with your luggage.
Some people are real sticklers for the "you have to cover yourself for the party" meaning you need to somehow find out how much the couple is paying per plate for reception. and compensate by giving them at least that much as a gift.
I don't do that I have a standard amount that I feel comfortable giving, everyone gets the same.
(If I win the lotto I might be able to afford to up that amount)

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

We are in the same boat too...my best friend is getting married in the Keys Nov. 17th...we have travel expenses and what not...but am still going to give them either $500 or $600! Even though their wedding is OOS...it's still costing them almost the same as having it up here..with much fewer people!

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

I went to DH's cousins wedding in Calfornia a couple years ago and we gave what we would usually give for a in state wedding. We saved up because we knew we were going.

Message edited 10/28/2007 9:02:26 AM.

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

FH and I went to a wedding in Wales, we gave the couple less than we would if it was a wedding in the US. Suprisingly they were shocked to receive what they received and thought we were generous.
we had to pay for hotel and flight and a rental car.

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

We had to stay in a hotel for the last one we went to and we gave them same gift we would have given if we had not traveled.

Re: when you go to an out of state wedding...

HONESTLY...I usually do give a smaller gift. That's more a product of WHERE most of my OOT weddings have been, where a "standard" wedding gift is at least half of what I would normally give. Does that make sense? The first few times I attended weddings where I gave my standard NY gift--I made the bride almost feel BAD by the amt I gave (which was the same or more than what their close family members had given). Normally, these days a bunch of our friends will go in for a big gift together and we'll give "generous" amts for that area (but still not what I would give for a NY wedding.) It's not ONLY because of travel expenses, it's also because of disparities in gift giving. And when I do send a gift, I would NEVER bring it--always send it the week before the wedding so someone is there to accept it (and not away on honeymoon!)