**UPDATE**Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

Hi ladies,
I really need your help.
Last night was my e-party at Chateau Briand.
Overall, it was awful for fh and I . I have a list of things that happened making me truly rethink my wedding planned for april of ’08 at the deserversky mansion. The venue we chose is a fairytale venue and I must say this has NOTHING to do with them.

The party was supposed to be about 65-70 people and while I had that number 12 people who rsvp’d didn’t show but a few people brought others w/o asking me so it ended up working out in the end. The fact that people can just not show, not call baffles me!

E-party / Chateau Briand complaints:
1. I walked into cocktail hour and the singer was only playing the piano. I inquired as to why and was told by the bridal attendant and maître’d that there was no stand for the mic so she could just play the piano. Argh… I asked if they had a stand and 20 minutes later they came out w/ one for her. Why couldn’t they just get it before?
2. During cocktail hour we were supposed to have 12 passed hor’ derves –we had 3 on one tray and they were cold, mind you fh and I ate off the tray first! They only passed them once not throughout cocktail hour.
3. The maitre’d kept bothering me the ENTIRE night asking all sorts of questions, pulling me away from guests (everyone noticied how much this was upsetting me)
4. We walked in the room for dinner before the guests to take a look and noticed that the hall decided to display my giftbags (that I had specifically asked they to keep in the back til I requested them privately!) for my bridal party and attendants INSTEAD of giving me a salad bar and antipasta station!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding?? I said something to the maitre’d and he was just acting like I was asking for something absurd, not something stated in my contract. After 15 minutes they fixed it.
5. We had a buffet on two sides of the floor and they only put out 2 servers to man the buffet stations! There was a ridiculous line at dinner time and I had to stop mingling and go and ask for them to put more staff out after people complained!
6. Dessert: We had something called the serendipity ( a choc. Chip cookie filled w/ ice cream and dipped in chocolate) guess what? It was cut in half, we were told upfront that everyone receives a full cookie.

There’s more but I’m so tired. ?
Fh and I didn’t have fun at all last night. The night was ruined by the hall and it really bothers me that halls can take your money, your dreams and not be held accountable because they make you pay in full upfront! So what recourse do I have?
Last night made us rethink the whole wedding we have planned. Now all we want is to have our church ceremony and have a dinner at a place like the seventh street café for all of our guests. We are also just thinking about going away at Christmas time and eloping on an island. The reception is all about your guests and you plan, break your arse, and in the end the night goes by so quickly and there is no guarantee that you will even enjoy yourself.
Please be honest. If you had it to do all over again, what would you change? Would you do it smaller scale, invite less people, elope, save, and spend on something else like a house? Was it really worth it for a 5 hour reception? I can’t stop crying, this is awful. I told my mom and she thinks we should just have the big wedding… FH and I think otherwise.
Advice please…
Xoxoxo,
k



UPDATE::

we have decided after talking all day and night NOT to cancel at deserversky. We have done alot of planning and you are right our wedding is at another venue that we both LOVE. I would never want to look back and feel i missed out on something. I throw great parties all the time and fh and I are always the best party starters so hopefully our wedding day will be amazing.
I am also contacting chateua briand tomorrow.
(I will let you know their response).


thanks girls. you all rock as always.
xoxoxox,
krystal

Message edited 11/12/2007 12:55:55 PM.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

I think your night was just ruined by the RH. There are other places that can do a better job than this. Don't let it discourage you. I am having a small wedding but if a big wedding is what your heart desires, go ahead.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

Thank you I am just not sure that the 60-70,000 pricetag of my wedding is worth it..

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

OMG noooooo DONT go back on your wedding plans!!! To be honest, I think a lot of us were like
once you posted about the extortionate tip expectation they had for the maitre'd and the Bridal Attendant, which you didn't need. It sounds like they don't really want "parties" per se, just weddings, at their venue...
SO, try to see last night as a "PRACTICE" for your wedding, there's lots to learn there, including, finalize everything, EVERYTHING a few days prior.
Make sure your contracts are EXPLICIT, don't leave anything to chance.
If something strikes you as 'odd' question it right there, on the spot, don't let them bully you.
AND
if you REALLY want peace of mind, and NOT to be pulled away from your party on the day of, why not research and hire a wedding coordinator??? If my wedding was LARGE (like 125 or more) I would DEFINITELY do that. Most of them are very flexible in the services they can provide and some of the reviews on here can really help you find someone who's a perfect fit for you and FH.
I also would wager a bet that your guests didn't notice some of the things that upset you? I'm so sorry though, I'm sure it was a hard night, but I say get a DOC and learn from last night, DeSeversky is AWESOME and if you speak with your BM about the issues last night they should be able to allay all of your concerns? HTH and don't worry your wedding really will be amaaaaazing....

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

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Posted by Colette

OMG noooooo DONT go back on your wedding plans!!! To be honest, I think a lot of us were like
once you posted about the extortionate tip expectation they had for the maitre'd and the Bridal Attendant, which you didn't need. It sounds like they don't really want "parties" per se, just weddings, at their venue...
SO, try to see last night as a "PRACTICE" for your wedding, there's lots to learn there, including, finalize everything, EVERYTHING a few days prior.
Make sure your contracts are EXPLICIT, don't leave anything to chance.
If something strikes you as 'odd' question it right there, on the spot, don't let them bully you.
AND
if you REALLY want peace of mind, and NOT to be pulled away from your party on the day of, why not research and hire a wedding coordinator??? If my wedding was LARGE (like 125 or more) I would DEFINITELY do that. Most of them are very flexible in the services they can provide and some of the reviews on here can really help you find someone who's a perfect fit for you and FH.
I also would wager a bet that your guests didn't notice some of the things that upset you? I'm so sorry though, I'm sure it was a hard night, but I say get a DOC and learn from last night, DeSeversky is AWESOME and if you speak with your BM about the issues last night they should be able to allay all of your concerns? HTH and don't worry your wedding really will be amaaaaazing....

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Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

I am so shocked to hear that about chateau briand! Dont let this experience ruin your dream wedding. Not every RH does things like that. I would sit down with your BM for your wedding and express concerns you had at your e-party and I am sure they will make sure those things dont happen. I work for an RH and I know that things that happened to you are not right and should not have happened. I would also call Chateau Briand and demand to talk to the General Manager and get money back.

Let me know if I can help you at all.
Working at an RH i know how these things are handled.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

i answered on the NW board.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

I am very sorry that you had a bad night---but that should not make you want to rethink your wedding
I know of many people that got married at you wedding RH and they were amazing
I know it is hard, but don't let this experience ruin you big day----plus if you go to your RH before the wedding and meet with those that will be attending to you that night, I am sure if you lay everything out to them, it will be perfect

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

*hugz*

I'm sorry you had that experience. Unfortunately, not all vendors are perfect, and sometimes you have to put a little time to make sure everything is just right.

I'm sure that with enough planning, you'll be able to have the wedding you imagined. And as was said before, you've got a run through for your wedding.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

Dont worry about the Engagement party, every hall works differently. That does not reflect the way your wedding will happen. You deserve to have the wedding you want.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

Dont let your eparty or the hall put you on the verge of cancelling your wedd, the hall has nothing to do with it you are not getting married there

Message edited 11/11/2007 9:12:49 PM.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

I'm sorry that your night wasn't what you expected it to be but you'll learn from this experience. If it makes you feel any better, perhaps you should think about hiring a DOC to help during your wedding day. Someone that will take care of all the tips and will "speak" for you at your RH. If anything goes wrong, they can help fix the situation.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

Honestly this is a HUGE decision that you & dh(and you and dh ONLY) need to make. I think if it's in your heart to cancel & that's REALLY what you want, that you'll have a beautiful ceremony & dinner will be great. If you know that emotionally u dont think u can handle juggling vendors and keeping your cool, then of course don't ruin your joy and go with the simpler plan...not everyone is made out to have a huge wedding nor to they have too! BUT.... i also KNOW that you have been SO excited for this wedding even months before you were engaged...and it's ONE day you will never get back, and only do once..so PLEASE just make sure that cancelling is definetly what you want to do! I would hate to see you regret it down the road! Vendors are human and not always perfect(lol though they should be for the cash we shell out for them!)...Me personally? I wouldn't change a thing about my wedding day. I have absolutely no regrets(except maybe researching video a little more & finding pennylane! lol)...everything was amazing, my hall was fabulous, EVERY vendor did an A+ job, and the only thing that went wrong was the weather which i couldn't control anyway . My advice??? Take your time, and research research research. I never ONCE jumped on a vendor. I compared prices, read reviews, talked to brides, etc. If you take your time, research, and above all ENJOY it all, your day will be great...and yes, sometimes things DO go wrong - but u can either let it ruin ur beautiful day, or blow it off because there's nothing else u can do at that point & just celebrate ur love with the man of ur dreams. Don't let one Rh's bad day make you cancel what you've always dreamed of

Message edited 11/11/2007 10:21:23 PM.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

ps: u're not getting married there...so who cares????

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

aw im sorry you had a bad time, but dont cancel the wedding!!! things like that dont happen that often, so chances of it happening to you again and a diff place no less is slim to none...i would def call up chateau briand and complain until they give you some money back...keep going higher until you get what you want...good luck!

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

I would say to not let this experience ruin your wedding.... I agree that maybe a coordinator might be the way to go to help with the worry that this sort of thing happens again.... but if you want the big wedding then go for it. On the other hand if you are both leaning more towards a not so typical wedding then go for it!! I think there is nothing wrong with going to an island with immediate family or doing the church then a restaurant idea. I am so sorry you had such a bad experience but your wedding is at another venue so dont let this one experience ruin a day that may be what you expected it to be...a dream come true!

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

Go back to Chateau Briand and demand money back for all the problems they caused you. Take your contract, show them what they promised and tell them what you did not get. If you had someone taking video bring it with you for proof. You can always take them to small claims court.

Do not let this RH, which is not the one for your wedding, damper your future wedding. If you are worried about your wedding Rh see if you can drop by during a schedules wedding to see how the management and wait staff handle a wedding.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

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Posted by JennysMOH

Go back to Chateau Briand and demand money back for all the problems they caused you. Take your contract, show them what they promised and tell them what you did not get. If you had someone taking video bring it with you for proof. You can always take them to small claims court.

Do not let this RH, which is not the one for your wedding, damper your future wedding. If you are worried about your wedding Rh see if you can drop by during a schedules wedding to see how the management and wait staff handle a wedding.

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Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

while I am pretty sure that in some time you really won't be as upset by everything that happened, I am going out on a limb here and being the only person to say, yea maybe you should rethink it.

We had a crapload of stuff go wrong at our wedding, but only from a "bride point of view". As a guest, it was fabulous because they didnt know that the icing was supposed to be one flavor instead of another etc.

I guess it just seems that you are really upset about the e-party and I would be afraid that honestly, nothing will live up to your expectations for the actual wedding and reception. If this is the case, you can either start to understand that it is 100% sure that at least some things will go wrong and its OKAY! or, you can decide to scale back, but even then, somethings will not be as you planned.

Do what you and your FH feel is best for the two of you and what you really feel you want in your heart.

Good luck with whatever decision you make!

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

I would say continue with your BIG wedding plans and don't let your e-party experience take that away. Like some other girls said, go back to CB and DEMAND to speak to a manager abt your disappointments.

I know you can never get your E-party back but maybe your complaints can help a future bride not have such a bad experince at CB and from this you can learn how to deal with vendors, contracts, etc.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

OH NO so sorry to hear about your eparty...that really ***** that it went like that when you put all that effort into it...
Just remember, your NOT having your reception there so you will not be getting that same service again...Not all halls are like that, most will do anything to please you....
Keep on planning the wedding the way you want it, dont let some stuff like this ruin that for you...your only getting married to FH once, do what will make you happiest!!!!

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

Wow! that's awful... I would be livid!!!

Don't let this ruin your wedding for you though -- you are getting married somewhere else, and hopefully this won't happen again. I'm sure things will go wrong, and if you don't want to deal with it (or even know about it) I'd consider hiring a DOC to take care of everything for you. Hopefully things will be fixed before you even notice, and she can be a buffer between you and the hall.

If you and FH do decide the big party isn't really your thing and you'd rather put the $$ toward something else, do what will make you happy. Just think it over before doing anything rash to make sure it's what you really want and not your frustration about your e-party.

While everything you mentioned about what went wrong *****, and shouldn't have happened, I doubt any of your guests noticed.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

It sounds like the problems were venue-specific. When you're calmer, try writing a letter to the management outlining the problems and asking for at least a partial refund.

As for cancelling your larger wedding, if having one is what you really want, don't jump the gun and cancel. Perhaps having a coordinator, as the pps suggested, may help cut down on stress.

If you want to have a more intimate wedding for reasons other than what happened at your engagement party, then reconsider having the larger wedding. But don't make it a knee-jerk reaction.

Why not wait a little bit (within the confines of the dates of your contract, of course) and see how you feel?

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

For every horror story,there are 5 fairy tale nights that nothing went wrong..... maybe CB put its less experienced people at your party since it wasnt a wedding. I know people who had a party there for there corporation and they said it was horrible. Why don't you read some reviews about your RH and them decide. If they have a good record then you should have nothing to worry about.

Re: Please be honest...(I am on the verge of cancelling my wedding)

I think it's was all just the RH. You shoul dhave asked to speak to a manager. but don't let one bad experiences ruin your entire wedding. And for your wedding try and get a DOC or someone from your BP to help with everyhting. this way people are not coming up to you and askign questions.