I need a mom's touch on a tough topic

My mother insisted that she walk me down the aisle along with my father because /she raised me/... I said no and we had a bit of a fight
Some background info-->>
My parents got divorced when I was only 2, she remarried a terrible man whose children abused me (they were much older than me) I had a rocky relationship with her b/c she didn't help me out during the ages of 5-20!!! She recently divorced this person and we have tried to patch up our relationship but.... My sister got married while they were still together and my mother walked her with my father down the aisle. I never wanted that
perhaps b/c I don't feel like she should/deserves it...
Am I being really unreasonable?

Please Help any advice?
I want her to feel special and loved but I just don't want to take away from my dad's moment. I am close with him and he was always my escape from the crazy house I lived in. I want to share this special time with him -- how do I make her feel honored too?

Re: I need a mom's touch on a tough topic

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Posted by Brendanzgirl

My mother insisted that she walk me down the aisle along with my father because /she raised me/... I said no and we had a bit of a fight
Some background info-->>
My parents got divorced when I was only 2, she remarried a terrible man whose children abused me (they were much older than me) I had a rocky relationship with her b/c she didn't help me out during the ages of 5-20!!! She recently divorced this person and we have tried to patch up our relationship but.... My sister got married while they were still together and my mother walked her with my father down the aisle. I never wanted that
perhaps b/c I don't feel like she should/deserves it...
Am I being really unreasonable?

Please Help any advice?
I want her to feel special and loved but I just don't want to take away from my dad's moment. I am close with him and he was always my escape from the crazy house I lived in. I want to share this special time with him -- how do I make her feel honored too?

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Tricia, it depends on what you want to achieve with your Mom, relationship wise. If your Dad doesn't have a problem, I would suggest, even if you feel Mom doesn't deserve it, to extend the hand of forgiveness and healing, and allow Mom to walk with Dad. If Dad has a problem, I would suggest gently, and lovingly, asking Mom to do something else in your wedding, that would honor her. I'm not an expert with such delicate situations, but my immediate thought was that you have such a wonderful opportunity to perhaps bring healing into this relationship. Much Love and Blessings on you, and may THE LORD guide you and give the wisdom to make a final decision. Mary MOB

Re: I need a mom's touch on a tough topic

Thank you so much for the sincere reply.
I pray that God will lead me to the right decision and want to have a great day with both of my parents.
I'll have to give it some time and pray on it and I know it will go well.
Thanks again!

Re: I need a mom's touch on a tough topic

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Posted by Brendanzgirl

Thank you so much for the sincere reply.
I pray that God will lead me to the right decision and want to have a great day with both of my parents.
I'll have to give it some time and pray on it and I know it will go well.
Thanks again!

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I've been praying too, sweetie!!! Much Love, Mary

Re: I need a mom's touch on a tough topic

I also agree that you should talk to your dad and if it doesn't bother him ask your mom to walk down with you as well. Life goes by so fast and we sometimes do things that we can't take back. Of course if your dad really wants to walk you down alone then maybe you could also have a mother/daughter dance after you dance with your dad. Good luck sweetie and keep us posted. Susan

Re: I need a mom's touch on a tough topic

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Posted by debismom

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Posted by Brendanzgirl

My mother insisted that she walk me down the aisle along with my father because /she raised me/... I said no and we had a bit of a fight
Some background info-->>
My parents got divorced when I was only 2, she remarried a terrible man whose children abused me (they were much older than me) I had a rocky relationship with her b/c she didn't help me out during the ages of 5-20!!! She recently divorced this person and we have tried to patch up our relationship but.... My sister got married while they were still together and my mother walked her with my father down the aisle. I never wanted that
perhaps b/c I don't feel like she should/deserves it...
Am I being really unreasonable?

Please Help any advice?
I want her to feel special and loved but I just don't want to take away from my dad's moment. I am close with him and he was always my escape from the crazy house I lived in. I want to share this special time with him -- how do I make her feel honored too?

---

Tricia, it depends on what you want to achieve with your Mom, relationship wise. If your Dad doesn't have a problem, I would suggest, even if you feel Mom doesn't deserve it, to extend the hand of forgiveness and healing, and allow Mom to walk with Dad. If Dad has a problem, I would suggest gently, and lovingly, asking Mom to do something else in your wedding, that would honor her. I'm not an expert with such delicate situations, but my immediate thought was that you have such a wonderful opportunity to perhaps bring healing into this relationship. Much Love and Blessings on you, and may THE LORD guide you and give the wisdom to make a final decision. Mary MOB

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Tricia I agree with Mary so if your Dad is not happy having your mom walk down the aisle with the two of you then maybe you can do a special dance with her. You can do it either before or after the father/daughter dance. This way she will have a special moment that she can treasure for herself.

Liz

Re: I need a mom's touch on a tough topic

My dad is a pretty understanding man and he doesn't have a problem with her walking with us. I guess I just wanted to be 'normal' for once and not have to deal with divorced parents. However, after that day I will never get an opportunity to share something like that again with her.

I want to be able to joyfully include her in this special moment with my dad but I will have to take more time to think.

I love them both very much and want everyone to be happy.

Re: I need a mom's touch on a tough topic

You are a good daughter, I can tell by what you said above. I, too, am divorced and I know at times it was hard for my boys, but I did everything I could to make it easier. I am sure your parents will do the same for you.
Think about what I said about having a special dance with your mom. That may make her even happier than walking down the aisle, but if the walk is that important to her then give in and let there be peace and harmony on your big day.