Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

I was just wondering what everyones opinion is on this. Since we are all married here and some of us are trying to get pregnant or seeing what happens.... but what do you think of being 6 months or more pregnant and being a bridesmaid?

Personally, (JMO) if i was thinking about getting pregnant and I was asked to be a BM I would tell the bride Hey listen, we're trying but if I am pregnant, and its like the 7th month I will have to backout. Tell her straight out.
I dont really see the whole bridesmaid in a maternity dress cute,
I know how tired we were on my wedding day, all day, pictures, church ,reception.... You're on your feet all day long, I dont see someone pregnant going through that.
I know this might be selfish & I've gotten this from people that since I know someone's wedding is on such and such date that I should wait.
Am I selfish?
One of my friends was 5 months pregnant at my wedding (guest) and she was afraid to dance in case some crazy drunk person danced into her.
Am I the only one that feels like this?

I also understand the fact that oh it shouldnt matter, because if someone asks you to be in their BP, you should feel honored, bla bla....
just wondering what everyoné's take on this is.

(don't mean to offend anyone & dont mean to start any type of drama with this)

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

I guess it depends on the person. My cousin had two pregnant bridesmaids at her wedding and TEN pregnants guests total! LOL

The BMs were awesome, even though one of them gave birth a few weeks later!

Some people deal better than others - if you are one of those people that cant handle being uncomfortable maybe you should back out but if you think you will be more laid back and able to enjoy yourself i dont see a problem.

I hope that when I am pregnant I am like my sister. We spent the day in the city, took the subway BOTH ways in the middle of August. She made me dinner, drove me home and then went into labor LOL She was fine up until the end!

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

I guess it depends on the person. I personally woudlnt want to be 6+ months preggs and a BM. I'd do it if I wasn't showing yet though. But, for example, my sister is 2 months pregs right now and is already saying how tired she is getting. So I guess it depends on the individual.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

i personally think that if you are asked to be in a BP, pregnant or not, it's kind of an honor. It means that you are someone special to the person asking, and if you are carrying a baby - that's even MORE special.

I actually asked my MOH to try and get pregnant (totally teasing her, but she was going to wait until after our wedding to start trying)....because it would mean the world to me to know that my Godchild was in her belly at my wedding... She didn't start trying until she felt 100% confident that i was 100% behind her.

I wouldn't call what you said selfish...but i don't agree that you should drop out of a wedding if you'll be 7 months pregnant. There are many women who are 'on the go' right up until they give birth. Again - case in point, my MOH gave birth on Sunday, and as late as Saturday, she was at the mall with her mom & went out to dinner....

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

doesn't reallly bother me either way. if a friend gets pregnant before the wedding---well we'lll just order extra fabric!

it all depends on the person who is pregnant...if they want to be there...they can...if they don't ...they don't have to. but i don't find anything wrong with a pregnant BM in pictures....i think its cute.

i'm a MOH for a friend of mine---and who knows...i might just be pregnant for her wedding......and if that happened i think she would be beyond ecstatic about it. sometimes it takes forever to plan a wedding and heck it took 2 yrs for us---so if someone said "well i'm gonna be pregnant now for your wedding and huge" i'd just say "i want you there no matter what...but if you don't feel comfortable---please let me know"

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

I think everyone handles pregnancy differently and there's NO way to know how you personally will handle it until you are in that situation. I have a feeling that I'll be one of those pregos that gains way too much weight, has horrible morning sickness all day long throughout the entire pregnancy and generally won't handle it as great as some others.... but I still hope I'm completely wrong.

I honestly don't see anything wrong with having a pregnant bridesmaid - they look beautiful and so long as they are willing, then I would totally not have had a problem with it for my own wedding. I would also not expect a pregnant bridesmaid to do as much as the others and would offer things like a chair for her to sit during pics and the ceremony etc.

If you personally do not want to be a bridesmaid if you are more than 7 months pregnant then that's your perogative. If you are honest with the bride from the beginning, then I guess she should understand.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

MY MOH was just about 7 months pregnant at my wedding, stood up through the whole 1/2 hour ceremony, danced at my reception and even hung out at the bar (didn't drink OF COURSE) at the hotel afterwards. She was a rockstar and she looked gorgeous, my dresses were black though so they were universally flattering, I'm sure there's a pic or her somewhere in my album. She runs around now after her 2 1/2 year old even though she is about to pop. She's pregnant, not disabled.

Also, another one of my BMs was just about 5 months pregnant, she danced all night and had a great time as well.

Message edited 6/11/2008 10:39:24 AM.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

I think everyone handles pregnancy differently and there's NO way to know how you personally will handle it until you are in that situation. I have a feeling that I'll be one of those pregos that gains way too much weight, has horrible morning sickness all day long throughout the entire pregnancy and generally won't handle it as great as some others.... but I still hope I'm completely wrong.

I honestly don't see anything wrong with having a pregnant bridesmaid - they look beautiful and so long as they are willing, then I would totally not have had a problem with it for my own wedding. I would also not expect a pregnant bridesmaid to do as much as the others and would offer things like a chair for her to sit during pics and the ceremony etc.

If you personally do not want to be a bridesmaid if you are more than 7 months pregnant then that's your perogative. If you are honest with the bride from the beginning, then I guess she should understand.

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Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

If I was planning on getting pregnant and I was ask to be a BM I wo uld tell the bride as long as she didn't mind me being pregnant and in her wedding then I would do it. However if the wedding was during the midding of my 8th month then I'd tell her there may be a chance that I would be giving birth and if she didn't mind a last minute drop out then sure.

Honestly I don't think I'd be asked by many people to be in the BP, only 2 friends that I can think of and if they asked I would do everything I could uncomfortable or not to be there from then on their wedding day as they were for me!!!

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

i have no problems with it..
my sister MOH.. was 8 months PG when she was in my wedding and i could NOT have her be out of my wedding.. i would have it any other way.. i think its a beautiful thing... she danced around had no problems at all

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

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Posted by DeannaNDave07

i have no problems with it..
my sister MOH.. was 8 months PG when she was in my wedding and i could NOT have her be out of my wedding.. i would have it any other way.. i think its a beautiful thing... she danced around had no problems at all

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Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

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Posted by gabbie83

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Posted by DeannaNDave07

i have no problems with it..
my sister MOH.. was 8 months PG when she was in my wedding and i could NOT have her be out of my wedding.. i would have it any other way.. i think its a beautiful thing... she danced around had no problems at all




omg thats soooo cute
she doesnt even look 8 months pregnant

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yea , if you get the right dress it looks so beautiful!!
and look at the cute pictures you can take!!

she totally didnt look 8 months.. i hop i have the same luck..lol

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

I don't really see a problem with pregnant bridesmaids. I was in a wedding a few years ago where out of 8 BM's 3 were pregnant. One was due with twins a few weeks after the wedding. It was important to the bride that they were there with everyone that day pregnant or not.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

i think it should totally be up to the woman who is pregnant, whether or not she feels up to being in the wedding. i don't think the bride should make that decision for her- not asking bc it is assumed that she won't be up for it or bc it "won't look good it pictures," that one gets me!!! if the woman who is pregnant is up to it and feels comfortable in her dress, im all for it. its about the ppl you choose, not how theyll look in your pics. jmo. life happens, ppl get pregnant and it coincides with other ppl's events. everyone has to do what works for them. i have health issues already so if i was preggo and would be far along at that time, and asked to be in someone's wedding, i would probably have to decline bc i know i wont be getting around well. but my sis was preggo for our other sisters wedding and while it made her a little stressed and she got hot and stuff, she really wanted to be a part of such a special day. everyone's diff. i see no problem with it. you can't control all the diff factors around your day. sure its an honor to be asked, but that doesnt mean the person has no right to politely decline. not everyone WILL feel up to it and they don't have to just suck it up for the bride.

Message edited 6/11/2008 11:43:23 AM.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

I have 2 weddings I'm in next summer (one in June, one in July),


I originally wanted to wait until late next winter or spring to TTC- so that if it happened I wouldn't be very far along for the weddings.

DH was upset that I would want to put my life on hold for other people.

I'm starting to change my mind. If it happened in enough time- I would either back out, or give the bride an option to ask someone else. If it doesn't happen in the first few months (we would start TTC in the fall instead), I wouldn't back out because I don't think I would be far enough along to be showing alot.

Does that make sense?

(I still haven't decided when we're going to TTC)

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

If I was the bride-I wouldnt care if someone in the BP was preggo-it would be their choice to be in the BP or not

And if I was the preggo BM I would hope that the bride would feel the same way-I dont think I would want to be a BM and preggo but then again it depends on how far along I am

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

My little sister is getting married 9/28 which is exactly one month before my due date and I am one of her BMs. My aunt told my stepmom that she should step in and say something... that I shouldn't be in my sister's wedding party being pregnant! Give me a break!! It's not like I'm a 15 year old girl that got knocked up! I'm a married woman for chissakes!! Pregnant woman can do all that other woman can do, ie. dance, stand, walk down the aisle, etc. The only caveat is if she's on bedrest which would me she couldn't go to the wedding at all!

If you don't like how pregnant BMs look in a wedding party and are TTC, I would tell the bride, in case she agrees with your way of thinking. BUT, be warned- as any girl over on the LIF TTC Board will tell you... getting pregnant may take a lot longer than you thought it would, which, in that case, would alleviate the problem altogether!!

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

getting pregnant may take a lot longer than you thought it would, which, in that case, would alleviate the problem altogether!!





- i hear you - thats all i've been hearing lately - how hard it is

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

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Posted by twinkletoes807

My little sister is getting married 9/28 which is exactly one month before my due date and I am one of her BMs. My aunt told my stepmom that she should step in and say something... that I shouldn't be in my sister's wedding party being pregnant! Give me a break!! It's not like I'm a 15 year old girl that got knocked up! I'm a married woman for chissakes!! Pregnant woman can do all that other woman can do, ie. dance, stand, walk down the aisle, etc. The only caveat is if she's on bedrest which would me she couldn't go to the wedding at all!

If you don't like how pregnant BMs look in a wedding party and are TTC, I would tell the bride, in case she agrees with your way of thinking. BUT, be warned- as any girl over on the LIF TTC Board will tell you... getting pregnant may take a lot longer than you thought it would, which, in that case, would alleviate the problem altogether!!

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Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

I'm due one month before my sister's wedding and I am the MOH. I don't think there's anything wrong with being preggo as long as you're feeling okay. Honestly, by the 2nd - 3rd trimester you don't really feel that bad (or it might just be me)...it's mostly the first few months. Sometimes I feel absolutely un-pregnant until I look down (and i'm just around the 6 month mark).

I did try to step down just because of possible complications with the pregnancy, or in case I couldn't recover in time. But my sister wouldn't hear of it! We're actually planning each other's showers pretty much at the same time!

I did have to get a new bridesmaids dress since I heard you still look about 6 months preggo right after you give birth (darn). I think a preggo BM is actually really cute!

But if you feel like it's your time, just go for it. I think it would be selfish of your friend if she were to ask for you to wait until after her wedding is over.

Message edited 6/11/2008 4:21:09 PM.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

My MOH & one of my BMs were around 3 months at our wedding.

One was trying, and told me upfront that they were ... but they didn't know how long it would take since it took a few months of trying for their first child. Happily for them, it happened rather quickly.

It wouldn't have mattered to me how far along they were ... I was just so excited for them, and I told them that.

Funny thing is, since we had our BMs and GMs stand during the ceremony, we reserved a few chairs in the first row in case either of them felt like they wanted to sit. I wanted to make it as easy for them as possible. It was one of the other girls who felt faint and needed to sit!

As long as the BM wants to be part of the wedding, I don't see pregnancy as a reason NOT to be a BM.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

I myself don't see the big deal with being pregnant and being in a wedding party. However, I would definitely let the bride-to-be know just in case she does.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

My MOH was 6 months and she did everything up until the wedding. She didnt really dance at the wedding but otherwise it was fine. And anotherBM was preg at the time of the wedding too which we didint know. I dont know how I would be if I was preggo and a BM I would have to be in the moment. I do think it does depend on the person too.

Good question

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

my sister (jenlen) is my MOH and she is due 1 month before my wedding. I don't see any problems with being a preggo BM, but you should maybe let the bride know that you may be tired leading up to the day. I spread out the various responsibilities to my other bridesmaids so that my sister wouldn't be swamped with "duties" the day of the wedding and leading up to the wedding. i would never even think of asking her to step down and even if she (knock on wood) had to back out, i would still be 100% okay with it. it does depend on the bride though and how flexible she will be with the situation.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaids (to be or not to be)

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Posted by gabbie83

I was just wondering what everyones opinion is on this. Since we are all married here and some of us are trying to get pregnant or seeing what happens.... but what do you think of being 6 months or more pregnant and being a bridesmaid?

Personally, (JMO) if i was thinking about getting pregnant and I was asked to be a BM I would tell the bride Hey listen, we're trying but if I am pregnant, and its like the 7th month I will have to backout. Tell her straight out.
I dont really see the whole bridesmaid in a maternity dress cute,
I know how tired we were on my wedding day, all day, pictures, church ,reception.... You're on your feet all day long, I dont see someone pregnant going through that.
I know this might be selfish & I've gotten this from people that since I know someone's wedding is on such and such date that I should wait.
Am I selfish?
One of my friends was 5 months pregnant at my wedding (guest) and she was afraid to dance in case some crazy drunk person danced into her.
Am I the only one that feels like this?

I also understand the fact that oh it shouldnt matter, because if someone asks you to be in their BP, you should feel honored, bla bla....
just wondering what everyoné's take on this is.

(don't mean to offend anyone & dont mean to start any type of drama with this)

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