I feel awful about guest numbers

I feel awful.... After my engagement, some of my coworkers who I have a friendship with asked to be invited to my wedding and I told them that I will try to fit them in. Well I tried but I invited a total of 11 people (including 2 married couples) which is a lot considering I am only having 120 people at my reception. Now some of the single people are asking if they can bring guests. Since I cannot accomodate 18+ people only 11 from my job, I am politely telling them that due to guest # constraints and my big family, I cannot invite them with dates. None of these people are dating someone for more than a year and are good friends to me.
I am beginning to feel that I should not have invited any single people at all since it may cause some ill feelings.

Your thoughts.........:(

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

I think you did the right thing by telling them that you cant invite them with dates.

If they arent dating anyone, then i agree with you no dates to be invited.

Sometimes I just think people dont understand how much a wedding costs, some come from a large family and family comes first and that we just cant invite the entire world.

I think you did the right thing by not inviting there guests. People should be honored to just be invited

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

We had a very tight guest list as well. Unless they were in a significant relationship, we did not invite single friends with 'guest'. Everyone understood.

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

C,
thanks so much. I just needed another opinion from a LIW's fellow bride! I feel so much better now

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

Thanks KarenG

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

your friends will understand and respect your decision...

those who aren't your friends will not understand be mad and not come...and eventually it will blow over...


I was invited to a coworkers wedding single [BH-before husband] and was not upset at all...

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

If they don't understand or don't like it,they can decline. I don't think they should have 'asked' if they were invited though.That is putting you on the spot.You do whatever you want to do and don't feel bad. They didn't think twice about imposing on you.

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

I know. You guys are making me see the light here.


Karen

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

Bottom line is that its YOUR WEDDING.
Don't let anyone make you regret any of your decisions.You are paying for it,you call the shots. You can't please everyone.Someone will always complain about something.

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

You are correct Yabbobay, if they are real friends then they would come anyway.


Karen

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

I totally understand your stress and can see why you wouldn't want them to bring dates. 20 people is a lot from work, but you mentioned these are good friends of yours.

I don't agree that the length of time they're dating should be a consideration. Plenty of people are in very serious relationships in less than a years time.

We invited all of our single friends with guests - only a couple of them brought someone. But we figured they are our guests and we want them to be comfortable, and if that means bringing someone, they should be able to do so.

I've also seen too many people be in the situation of having to explain to their significant other why they can't bring them to a wedding. I've been in that place myslef - I didn't go to a wedding with my DH (then boyfriend) because he wasn't invited with a guest (he was in the wedding party). The couple didn't know we were dating so seriously. When they found out (years later) - that we were actually together at the time of their wedding, they were mad at DH for not asking if he could bring a date!!

OK, back to your situation:
At least you know that the single people will know others at your wedding. So thats a plus. But if they all were married, would you still have invited them all? You'd have the same number of guests then. If you really can't afford it, I'm sure they'll understand.

As you get back 'no' responses, you may be able to accomodate some more guests. Let your friends know that you'll let them know as it goes along (especially if you need more to make your minimum).

Don't feel awful about it -its just one of those tough wedding decisions!

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

Karen I am in the same situation as you.

Firstly, I think it is somewhat rude to be asked to be invited to the wedding- friend or no friend, that just puts you in an awkward position.

FH and I have quite a few single friends, whom we plan to have a conversation prior to sending out invites as to whether or not they are bringing anyone.

Weddings are very expensive and you have to draw the line somewhere.

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

I totally agree. True friends will certainly understand you rreasons as to why they can't be invited with a guest. I wish I had been firm when we were doing the guest list. I wanted to make everyone happy. So we invited all with a date. Some, instead of just coming alone, brought a friend with them - boy did that make me mad!!

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

Thanks Lisa, I actually told them that I will get back to them by the end of the month.

Karen

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

totally agree nrvbrd - it was rude to ask!

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

One of the guys asked me if he could ask an uninvited coworker who I can't stand

Of course I told him that I invited him solo. Can you imagine what would have happened if I invited him with a guest?

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

i have the same problem. my fh and i work at the same school where there are 20 teachers total. we feel bad only inviting a small number of people. if i invite 13 teachers with guests, thats 26 people!!and then there are 7 teachers that i would not invite, but i would feel bad leaving them out. since my wedding is not until 11/04, i have some time to figure it all out. maybe some of them will leave by then!

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

Good luck Groovypeg. the suggestions on this thread is very helpful though

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

Its good to see I'm not the only 1 who has to make this decision!

I recently switched jobs & while I'll have no problem not inviting the people at my new job, there are a few at my old job who I'd like to invite . . . & 1-2 who asked me outright if they could attend! Now I had no problem w/this before guest list ballooned to 12 peeps over the limit!

& this doesn't include the folks at FH's job, none of whom are married but a few are in serious relationships.

Think I'll follow your lead & ask them closer to the date. Except for 1 married woman, none are in a 'serious' relationship right now, so it will be easier for me to say no. I do still feel bad & hope that somehow it'll all work out & I can invite them w/a guest

Re: I feel awful about guest numbers

I'm glad to see that I am not the only facing this situation. My co-workers, with whom I am friendly, but not outside of work, assumed they would all be invited. We are talking approx. 20 people before you consider that they will bring spouses or dates. We are only inviting 70-75 people to our reception. I'm still trying to figure out what to do.