I am kind of bummed (vent)

My sister and I have never got along well. We were trying to get along for the sake of the wedding. At Thanksgiving yesterday she kept putting FH down and I snapped. I had had it. She does this all the time and I could no longer let it go. Now she will not speak to me and told my mom she is not hosting my 'surprise shower' on Saturday. I left her a message today saying she does not need to apologize to me but she needs to apologize to FH. When I went to my moms today she refused to come out of her room because I was there. Am I wrong for wanting her to apologize to him?

This wedding and all its planning has caused more sadness than happiness. I wish I would have just eloped.

Thanks for letting me vent

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

Awwwww. I'm so sorry that happened. I don't think you were wrong at all wanting an apology and I hope he gets it.

What is her deal with him?

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

YOU ARE NOT WRONG AT ALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am going through this w/FH and 2 of his 3 sisters......you would not believe the things they have said/done to me....and FH has not demanded they apologize....he hasn't spoken to them, nor did we go to one FSIL house yesterday for thanksgiving, because he said he refuses unless they apologize, so i guess its the same thing, but i APPLAUD you for demanding an apology!

You are her sister, and you are choosing this man to spend your life with...if she doesn't like him TOO BAD she should keep her mouth shut!!

sorry im being so strong about this but it hit a nerve because I cannot deal with this in my own life anymore it bothers me that anyone else puts other people through this too. And the funny thing is, one FSIL that is being the worst of all did this to the 1 of 3 FSILs that i do get along with to her husband!!! so my FBIL (thats married to FHs sister) Does not speak to this sister either....

people just need to learn to keep their mouths shut and just be happy for their family members....

GOOD FOR YOU for putting your FHs feelings first...if you don't stand up for him now, she will continue to put him down...personally, i'd rather she be mad than continue to treat FH disrespectfully!!

again, sorry i came off so strong... i can just related very closely

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

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Posted by FutureMrsKuehne

YOU ARE NOT WRONG AT ALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am going through this w/FH and 2 of his 3 sisters......you would not believe the things they have said/done to me....and FH has not demanded they apologize....he hasn't spoken to them, nor did we go to one FSIL house yesterday for thanksgiving, because he said he refuses unless they apologize, so i guess its the same thing, but i APPLAUD you for demanding an apology!

You are her sister, and you are choosing this man to spend your life with...if she doesn't like him TOO BAD she should keep her mouth shut!!

sorry im being so strong about this but it hit a nerve because I cannot deal with this in my own life anymore it bothers me that anyone else puts other people through this too. And the funny thing is, one FSIL that is being the worst of all did this to the 1 of 3 FSILs that i do get along with to her husband!!! so my FBIL (thats married to FHs sister) Does not speak to this sister either....

people just need to learn to keep their mouths shut and just be happy for their family members....

GOOD FOR YOU for putting your FHs feelings first...if you don't stand up for him now, she will continue to put him down...personally, i'd rather she be mad than continue to treat FH disrespectfully!!

again, sorry i came off so strong... i can just related very closely

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I appreciate it!!! I feel like such sh!t for yelling at her at Thanksgiving but I could not take it anymore. I just got to my breaking point.

Thanks so much!!

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

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Posted by StaceyWill

Awwwww. I'm so sorry that happened. I don't think you were wrong at all wanting an apology and I hope he gets it.

What is her deal with him?

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I honestly think she is jealous. My mom LOVES FH. I am getting married and moving on with my life and she is still living at home.

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

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Posted by mbscheer

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Posted by StaceyWill

Awwwww. I'm so sorry that happened. I don't think you were wrong at all wanting an apology and I hope he gets it.

What is her deal with him?

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I honestly think she is jealous. My mom LOVES FH. I am getting married and moving on with my life and she is still living at home.

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it all stems from jealousy....people that are jealous can never be truly happy for their 'loved ones' its so sad....everythings a competition....

FH and I have dealt with cr@p from his sisters towards me since i met him, almost 4 years now....and a couple of weeks ago the oldest one just went crazy over the line on Facebook even attacked my Mom!!!!! So we said THATS IT the line is crossed we wont take the disrespect anymore...its unfortunate because you can't predict what will happen from there (will she apologize and move on? will she hold a grudge and not talk to you?) theres no way to know...but IMO, after 4 years of being walked on and disrespected, id rather not talk to them anymore than deal w/tht forever (and i know shes your blood sister so its different, thats why i feel for FH, but im giving you the fiance 'in law' perspective)

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

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Posted by FutureMrsKuehne

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Posted by mbscheer

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Posted by StaceyWill

Awwwww. I'm so sorry that happened. I don't think you were wrong at all wanting an apology and I hope he gets it.

What is her deal with him?

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I honestly think she is jealous. My mom LOVES FH. I am getting married and moving on with my life and she is still living at home.

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it all stems from jealousy....people that are jealous can never be truly happy for their 'loved ones' its so sad....everythings a competition....

FH and I have dealt with cr@p from his sisters towards me since i met him, almost 4 years now....and a couple of weeks ago the oldest one just went crazy over the line on Facebook even attacked my Mom!!!!! So we said THATS IT the line is crossed we wont take the disrespect anymore...its unfortunate because you can't predict what will happen from there (will she apologize and move on? will she hold a grudge and not talk to you?) theres no way to know...but IMO, after 4 years of being walked on and disrespected, id rather not talk to them anymore than deal w/tht forever (and i know shes your blood sister so its different, thats why i feel for FH, but im giving you the fiance 'in law' perspective)

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Thanks so much for the advice hun... I think its so hard because its my sister. I think if it was his it would be easier.

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

i'm so sorry....things can get difficult with sisters!!! she will come around, i'm sure. she's probably just jealous!! sorry you have to go through this!!

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

well, for me, wht makes it so hard is that i have no siblings...FILs will be the closest things i have to siblings....

so to have 2 out of 3 of them spreading rumors, talking behind my back, questioning every move i make, it hurts soooooooooooo bad! and then to feel like IM the one responsible for FH and his sisters not talking, that makes me feel even worse...although it in no way is my fault.

but i had to think about our future, years and years of either dealing with being pushed around, or standing up for myself now....i thought about 'what happens when we have kids?? will they question every parenting move i make? treat my kids differently? will my kids see that their aunts treat their mother so bad?' honestly, my stomach gets in knots on many occassions thinking about my future with his family...but at the same time, i feel like i cant express it to FH the way i'd like to, because its his sister...

and maybe im just sensitive, and guys wouldnt feel that way, but you have to put your FHs feelings first, and think about your future...there is NO TALKING to his sisters, so its not even an option for me to explain what they are doing to me, and us! FH and i have had so many fights lately due to the tension....
so if you think that there is any chance you can actually TALK to your sister, explain how this makes you feel, the severity of it and the permanence of yours and FHs relationship, hopefully that could help! I hope that is an option for you, because it makes me so sad that it is not an option for us

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

I am so sorry you are going through this. But you cant make her apologize, so I would just avoid her. It's unfortunate she is behaving like this!

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

I don't think you are wrong.. sorry

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

people stink...even family...sometimes fam worse then everyone else. I feel your pain.

sorry ur dealing with this

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

what a b*tch - i'm glad you said something to her - obviously it was building up and getting to you so she must have really deserved it!!! I know it stinks that she's being a baby but if you don't stand your ground, she'll never learn. Your wedding is coming up soon, don't let her ruin this time for you!

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

it su**s you cant make her change or even apologize but what i can tell you is this.

i PROMISE you it meant the world to Dave that you stood up for him. While you might want things to change the sheer fact knowing that have eachothers back makes things bearable....


let me know if you need anything

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

you are not wrong at all! I am so sorry you have had to deal with so much nonsense with planning your wedding; I really honestly truly wish and pray that people would just leave you alone and let you enjoy yourself!

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

Ur totally right!!! Especially if she did this to his face!!

I'd punch her in the teeth if she were my sister... guess it's good that I only have a Brother.


Hope it works out!!!!!

xoxox

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

I hope it all works out. At least you have each other.

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

Good for you! Sisters can really cross the line sometimes (i have 2) and they need to be put in their place or else they will continue to walk all over you!

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

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it all stems from jealousy....people that are jealous can never be truly happy for their 'loved ones' its so sad....everythings a competition....

[\QUOTE]

This is SO true. I am going through the same thing with FBIL... I don't know if you read my thread from the other day. He can't just be happy for his only brother, he has to make it about him and make everyone around him nuts since he's not the center of attention... and we're talking about a 35 year old man now...

I am so sorry your sister is acting this way. Your Fh def deserves an apology.

Re: I am kind of bummed (vent)

drama s*cks but family drama really s*cks!! so sorry!