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How much should a FMIL be involved in planning a bridal shower?

cluelessbride Posted: May 13, 2003 11:10 AM+

cluelessbride MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 4570 WEDDING DATE: Oct 23, 2004

Posted: May 13, 2003 11:10 AM

How much should a FMIL be involved in planning a bridal shower?

I am the MOH for my best friend. She is getting married in late September.

I have been in contact with my friend's sisters and her mom and also her FMIL to try to pick a date that will be good for everyone.

Well - basically her FMIL is not available on ANY weekend in the summer, from Memorial Day - Labor Day.

I suggested July 3rd, but she said she has a wedding on July 4th and thinks it will be too much for her to have the shower, then a wedding.

***??

Maybe the Monday of Memorial Day weekend will have to be it. But what a @*#$ day for a shower! ARGHHGH!

OctBride03 Posted: May 13, 2003 11:20 AM+

OctBride03 MEMBER SINCE: 9/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6768 WEDDING DATE: Oct 19, 2003

Posted: May 13, 2003 11:20 AM

Re: How much should a FMIL be involved in planning a bridal shower?

Hmm... well I think whatever day is considered, she should be told to ensure she can make it.

Why don't you do a Friday evening?? Does it have to be an afternoon shower?

sanmik Posted: May 13, 2003 11:50 AM+

sanmik MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 719 WEDDING DATE: Aug 17, 2003

Posted: May 13, 2003 11:50 AM

Re: How much should a FMIL be involved in planning a bridal shower?

Why not just ask her when she is available for her future daughter in-law's shower? Or ask her if she plans on doing her own, since she's too busy? Throw it back in her court, whatever her response is work on that. If she doesn't want to attend, she can never say you didn't try to accommodate her.

NovemberSue Posted: May 13, 2003 11:56 AM+

NovemberSue MEMBER SINCE: 5/02 TOTAL POSTS : 9878 WEDDING DATE: Nov 08, 2002

Posted: May 13, 2003 11:56 AM

Re: How much should a FMIL be involved in planning a bridal shower?

I would ask her what dates she IS available.
How can she possibly have things on every single weekend thru Sept. There must be Fri nights,Saturdays or Sundays she will be available.
You may not want to plan it on a holiday weekend because people may be away or have other plans already.JMO

julybride444 Posted: May 13, 2003 12:57 PM+

julybride444 MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1940 WEDDING DATE: Jul 26, 2003

Posted: May 13, 2003 12:57 PM

Re: How much should a FMIL be involved in planning a bridal shower?

Give her a list of dates that everyone else can make, then ask her which one she would like to attend. Make her make a choice. If July 3 works for everyone, tell her that's when it is and ask if she will be attending? What's she going to do, tell everyone that she didn't want to come b/c she had a wedding the next day? She may tell you, but she probably won't want to lose face in front of everyone else!

Then, if you know your friends FH, ask him to talk to his mom. She wouldn't dare tell him that she couldn't make it.

tarakinspa Posted: May 14, 2003 02:49 AM+

tarakinspa MEMBER SINCE: 3/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2479 WEDDING DATE: May 18, 2003

Posted: May 14, 2003 02:49 AM

Re: How much should a FMIL be involved in planning a bridal shower?

Etiquette wise the FMIL really has no place in the shower planning but that didnt stop my FMIL so i would at least narrow the choices, there has got to be a limit somewhere.

karen32 Posted: May 14, 2003 02:58 AM+

karen32 MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 4562 WEDDING DATE: Oct 25, 2003

Posted: May 14, 2003 02:58 AM

Re: How much should a FMIL be involved in planning a bridal shower?

i agree with tara - MOB and MOG are really not supposed to be involved in the planning. however, i wouldn't want my FMIL to miss the shower, so i would throw the ball back in her court. if she isn't free on the weekends, when does she want this thing??? i guess you could wait until after labor day, if your friend is not getting married until late september.