Question about baby shower?

My best friend, who was also my MOH, just told me that she's expecting. Who's responsibility is it to plan her shower? All of her family lives out of state. Her MIL is in NY, she actually lives with her, but it's hard for her MIL to get around. Should I talk to her husband in a couple of months and offer to throw her one or would I be intruding? I just don't want to see her miss out on one because she doesn't have the greatest of circumstances.

Re: Question about baby shower?

I don't know. Does she have sisters you can talk to or maybe you can talk to her mom. You can ask her husband. I think if both families chip in and her friends,you can plan something nice.

Re: Question about baby shower?

I think that would be wonderful for you to do and not intrusive at all. Maybe her family will want to help from long distance but you could do all the leg work. I would talk to her hubby definitely. What a wonderful friend you are!!

Re: Question about baby shower?

I know that her mother or MIL should not host the shower because it will look like they are just trying to get gifts for their children. I hosted my sister's shower with my mother's help, but she was adamant about not having her name on the invitation. I don't think you will be intruding if you offer to host a shower. She may also have a shower from family members who are out-of-state, so you can be resonsible for a shower here.

Re: Question about baby shower?

She has one sister that she's not that close to. Her sister lives in MA and I just can't imagine her putting out the effort to throw her a shower.

Maybe in 2 months or so I'll start talking to her husband about it.

Re: Question about baby shower?

Stacey, thank you. How was your shower?

Re: Question about baby shower?

That is so thoughtful of you! I'm sure you can work something out with her mom and her MIL. She's lucky to have such a good friend!

Re: Question about baby shower?

You are such a good friend to be thinking about your friend. Definetly talk with her DH in a few months!

Re: Question about baby shower?

I think you should speak to the mothers first, since often they want to throw the shower. If neither of them can do it, then make the offer. I hosted a shower for a close friend recently and it went great.

Re: Question about baby shower?

The problem is anything her mom wants to do will be in Vermont and I just don't trust her mom to follow through with a plan. Maybe I should have my friends husband contact her mom to make sure? But even if she says she's going to do something, sadly, I don't trust her. She's not reliable at all and has screwed my friend over many times.

Her MIL finds it very difficult to get around but I will check first to make sure she doesn't want to do it. If she does I can always offer to help her with all of the planning, right?

Re: Question about baby shower?

Why not call her mom and offer your home and tell her that you know she is far away so you figured you could help host and plan. maybe that would help her mom feel included, yet not responsible.