the nerve of people

i KNOW we've all gone through this (or will) but we are having such problems with people rsvping - they either aren't responding or responding for 2 and then calling and saying one might not come and they won't know till 2 more weeks.

But then we have people who were invited as a couple- husband and wife- and they go ahead and invite their adult daughter and new husband, rsvp'ing for 4!!!!! fmil called them and the woman had the nerve to say- well- i'm bringing them no matter what- if they have a problem at the door - my daughter and son in law won't go in. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!

another guy- fi's annoying friend- i've vented about him before is continuing to b*tch that he can't bring a date (who has been stringing this idiotic guy along for 3 years now while she's been dating this other guy). and this friend of fiance caused problems at the eng party too! he was the one i was debating whether to uninvite.

some one else is bringing her 22 year old daughter (we just invited the couple) bc she doesn't want her to feel left out.

UGHHHHHHHHHHH!

Re: the nerve of people

Ick!

Sorry you're having so many RSVP issues.. Im dredding my own experience.

Re: the nerve of people

I didnt get an RSVP from a girlfriend of mine, I called her last Thursday morning. She was running out the door. So I asked if she was coming to the wedding or not. She said she still had a few more days to respond and I told her the RSVP was supposed to be in last week. She went thru this whole thing about how her stepson wants to go this party..blah blah.

And she wasnt sure if she could make it. I told her to give me a call when she got home from her appt. that was last Thursday and I still have not heard from her. What is up with that? If you dont want to come just say so, and dont blame it on a seven year old.

And the least you can do is either call me back or stick the RSVP card in the mail after I just called you looking for it!!!!!

Re: the nerve of people

I'd uninvite the lady that invited her kids, and i'd uninvite the loser with the cheating 'girlfriend' but I would keep the other lady who is bringing her 22 yr old daughter. It's one thing to politely ask to bring a guest if you do not know anyone else that is going and would feel awkward (been there...trust me it s*cks) but to have a couple invite their kids just because they think their kids would enjoy it or something......nope...that's just plain inconsiderate and seriously, I would call her and say none of them are welcome now.

Sorry, that just is so wrong to do. I hope they back down and comply by your wishes!

Re: the nerve of people

Another one was....

my wife is pregnant but I want to come to your wedding. So put me down as a yes and I will call you a few days before. What ?
Of course these are FI's friends and I cant seem to explain that their answers are not good enough. We need a YES or a NO. Maybe he will get it when it comes time to write out the check for the reception - do we include them in the head count or not? An extra $75 per head.....
Some people just dont get it. And this guy has had two weddings (got married twice) so you would think he would understand.

Re: the nerve of people

maribelle- i wish i could do that! and this woman w/ the 22 year old daughter is bringing her husband too. AND they know everyone on fiance's side anyway- it's my ffil's aunt or cousin or something. i wish i could uninvite them but they are fi's guests- not mine. ffil was so angry - he wanted to call everyone and basically tell them to f--k off but fmil calmed him down.

Re: the nerve of people

WOW is almost all I can say. Part of me would want to tell FFIL's friends that if they insist on bringing their son & DIL that they will indeed be turned away at the door since they are NOT invited to the wedding.

The pregnancy excuse is about the only one that is acceptable and understandable.

I had to call one of my aunts to find out if they were coming and the answer was 'I have no idea'. They finally let us know 3 weeks later after my mother called them 3 times

Re: the nerve of people

TRUST ME, whatever guest count you give to your banquet hall, give them your count LESS FIVE. They all charge you for the number you give them and are not willing to subtract for changes. They can always ADD more.

Re: the nerve of people

Sorry for your RSVP experience. I'm sure we brides and grooms all experienced the RSVP horror stories at some point during our wedding planning process. We have a non-married couple who RSVP 'will attend' and on the actual day of our wedding this couple became a 'no show.' They never communicated to us about their absence and never sent a card, no gift either. Rude.

To dish out the guilt back to the couple we sent a Christmas card and wrote 'we were hoping to see you on our special day.' Six months later they explained their woeful sorry a*** story about how their car broke down and needed 2 days to fix... whatever!

Re: the nerve of people

so sorry to hear about all the RSVP problems. It's amazing how inconsiderate people can be. Just take a moment to breathe and then try to delegate as much as possible. Have other people get in touch with those that are causing problems and try to reach a resolution. For your sanity, try and keep yourself out of it as much as possible. Also, what was said above is definitely true, if you are unsure, tell the hall a few less than your actual number (and keep some extra money with your designated money person for those people on your wedding day). The hall can always add on and are more than happy to take your money, but will not give back if you have no-shows.

We had 2 people decide to bring dates the week of our wedding after RSVPing for 1 (that caused some fun with seating charts, let me tell you). And someone (we still don't know who) brought a guest the day of without letting us know. (My DH overheard the commotion about adding a chair to a table) Happily we made his dad our go-to guy and between the hall and my father-in-law, we were not troubled by any of the drama.

Good luck!

Re: the nerve of people

Jag- why can't you tell these people straight up -that they CANNOT COME. The only people on the invite are the ones who should be attending.

I had two instances like this while planning my own wedding and I told people off. I said you can either bring the guest I allowed or do not come. You have to be tough- that is what I learned through my own experience.

Re: the nerve of people

I'm convinced that this is the worst part of getting married - the guest list. And the funny thing it all seems to be my fault some how...

I hate wedding planning!!!!

Re: the nerve of people

WOW, that is nerve. I would definetly call them up and say no sorry. I can only imagine what we will be faced with. Don't feel bad, first off you are throwing the party, not them. Tell them that they put you in an awekward situation having to call to clearify the invitation, but it was addressed to the following people, and they are the guests who were invited.

Re: the nerve of people

So that woman is going to drag her daughter and son-in-law and if 'there is a problem at the door' are they going to sit in the car??

I can really understand the RSVP problems. I am still waiting for some people to respond and the respose date was weeks ago.

Good Luck!! I hope you get this all cleared up soon!!

Re: the nerve of people

People are mental. Why would someone think that it's okay to add people to your wedding? Because they are mental!

Re: the nerve of people

I was just having this conversation with my mother over lunch today. People don't seem to understand that when you pay for a catering hall you are paying per plate, so if they bring people along they can't eat, becasue we are catering for a certain number of people, and not all the people they see fit to bring along. I am defintely dredding my own experience

Re: the nerve of people

Where do people come off inviting people who did not get an invitation?????? That's what I would like to know...ugh...how ridiculous.

I'm sorry you're going through this... .

Re: the nerve of people

I would tell the people that rsvped for extra people not invited sorry you didnt understand but only so and so were invited!!! Since they seem to have no shame just embarrass them