Am I wrong

Me and my FH has none absolutely nothing in regards to planning. He was stressing the day after we were engaged and I promised not to talk about the wedding. However the longer I have been on this site the harder it is to do nothing.

Now last night he told me he was going to call his real estate agent to start house hunting. House hunting?? The plan was to find a job closer up the island and look for a house in about a year. Now he wants to look now, only we work on opposite sides of the Island. He's in NYC and I'm in the Hamptons. We live 40 minutes apart.

I don't understand how he feels we can look for a house when we don't even have a date for our wedding. Am I wrong to be upset about this?

Re: Am I wrong

I dont think you are wrong!

Feelings cannot be judged but even if they could be, that makes sense...

I would want to at least settle the date and jobs, etc before looking for a house...

Re: Am I wrong

I don't think you are wrong at all and my advice is sit him down over a nice dinner or something and communicate your feelings to him.

This is the man that you are planning on marrying and there should be an open wave of communication.

If you don't start now and hold everything in, it is only going to get worse down the line.

There is a time & place to bring things up like this, especially if he does not want to talk about it, but I really think that you need to make time for this and discuss it.

Good luck with everything

Re: Am I wrong

No, I don't think you are wrong but I do think you need to have a serious coversation on what each of your goals/priorities are. Do you both want to buy a house before you get married? Do you want to have a large wedding? Can you afford to do both around the same time? Decide what you want and come to an agreement. Be reasonable, rational and compromise. He has to understand that avoiding the conversation isn't going to make it go away.

Just my two cents

Re: Am I wrong

Thanks so much for all of your advice. The more I think about it the more I feel that we need a serious talk. Over a nice dinner is a great idea. I will let you know how things go.

Re: Am I wrong

don't think you are wrong at all. i do think that you two better have a serious conversation about this. if you want two different things--that's not the best way to start off! you two have to sit down together and have a detailed discussion about the future---make a plan TOGETHER. if you don't do that, things can get hectic and you may wind up resenting him for this.

just try and hash out like a 2-5 yr. plan---and let him know that you want to stick with it. everyone is different--but i sense you may be like me--and don't want to get into the whole financial responsibility of buying a home with someone who you are not married with yet. let him know that you want to get married BEFORE house hunting and find out if this is something he doesn't want to do. then you will have to decide what you want and vice versa

good luck!