Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

We did and I have had mixed responses from people. Some think it was the smartest thing we did, some people are absolutley horrified. I am just wondering if anyone else has had these reactions?

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

We bought our house together before we were "officially" engaged (we knew we were getting engaged, but the house opportunity came and we couldn't pass it up)

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

Kathleen,

We weren't "officially" engaged yet either, but knew we would soon. We decided that we would take the $$ that we saved up and put towards a house.

Today, I was annoyed by the reaction I got from one of my faculty members that I support. She saw my ring and we started chatting and I told her FI was re-doing the tile in our house and I could tell by her reaction she didn't approve. I really don't care, but I just needed to vent.

I was just wondering if anyone has had this experience?!

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

We had booked our reception and put a down payment on a house 1500 miles away from home before we made it official. My dad was not happy and had huge problem with it, until I got my ring!!
I did not care. We were happy and we were homeowners and that's all that mattered.
My religous family members hated the fact that I was living in sin so to speak!!
Vent away!!

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

hubby had bought a house before we got engaged. Thank goodness, because he got a great price back then.

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

My good friend and her boyfriend bought a beautiful house together about a year ago and they are not engaged yet. They know they eventually will be. FH and I would love to buy a house together if we had the money now. We know a couple that is talking about buying a house together and they are always fighting, etc. I think if you guys have a good relationship it doesn't matter if you're not married when you make the investment, however, if your relationship is "on the rocks" it is a tough situation to get out of if things don't work out. I think that is why people are so skeptical because it can't be a "clean break" if things don't end up working out - funny thing is - marriage is no guarantee either. If your marriage doesn't work out and you own a house together, it's the same thing.

Message edited 9/19/2003 8:57:00 AM.

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

Thats something that I think if you are comfortably with everything is fine. As for me it would be a cold day in hell before I ever did anything like that, but that does not mean what you did is wrong.

People just do different things. Do not feel bad b/c everyone does not agree.


A nice saying my friend says is "You do you and I will do me" Tell that to people when ever they question what you are doing it works really well

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

My sister did this...they were not officially engaged...Well long story short...they broke up. It was a huge disaster and things are still scr*wed up. She had to go to court to get any money and she still got scr*wed. I am not trying to scare anyone, but be careful. She thought this was the one...unfortunately things don't always turn out the way we like them to.

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

We did and we had a lot of mixed responses as well. Just remember as long as you are comfortable with it that is all that matters.

We were not "officially" engaged yet, but we knew it was coming. We moved in the house in August and got engaged in December

We were married last December and sold that house and upgraded to another in February

Message edited 9/19/2003 9:55:09 AM.

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

we bought a house together before we were engaged. Now that I look back, there werent too many reactions and thats because everyone except ME knew that we would be getting engaged on the day that we moved in!! he proposed right after we walked through the doors for the first time

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

We bought our home a year prior to being engaged. I don't recall getting any negative responses. (Maybe I just didn't care. ) To be honest, I think people were truly happy for us. We were living together for a year prior to purchasing the house, so it wasn't a big shock to anyone.

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

I am really happy we did things our way. Now we are able to save up for our wedding which is October 1, 2004, and not worry about saving up to buy a house.

Both our parents were happy for us and helped us out and to be honest their opinions are the ones who count in my book. This faculty member just really annoyed me yesterday.

Thanks everyone!

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

We are in the process of buying my house from my family right now. We're getting married in May 2004. No one said anything except one of the attorneys that I works with me. He suggested that we get a prenuptial since we're getting the house at a discounted price (a prenuptial guarding the equity in the home) However, my family and I decided that is not what we wanted.

ETA: Ooops! I read the question wrong I thought you meant if you bought a house 2gether before getting married. Sorry

Message edited 9/19/2003 1:27:32 PM.

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

We bought our house together and closed on it in October 2000. We got engaged in December 2000. So yes, we bought our house before we knew anything about getting married!

I don't think people had anything negative to say. We didn't realize it then, but it was quite possible the best decision we made (besides marrying eac otehr), considering the price of house now.

Message edited 9/19/2003 1:07:08 PM.

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

I didn't even have a joint-bank account until we were officially engaged. And even then, we had a savings account only. I kept all bills and accounts in my name.

I would only have purchased a home with a legal document in place stating what would happen should we break up etc...

But that is how I lived my life and NOT how someone else should. it is a personal decision.

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

especially in the NY area...engagements are something that sometimes take longer, b/c of the ring prices and the price for weddings...


I would worry for anyone b/c of breakups...unless they were actively talking about marriage and were just saving for a ring...


although I wish we had bought earlier...not to mention the equity and increase in price...but all the money saved on rent...it just makes sense

Re: Did anyone buy a house together before getting engaged?

I think it is okay as long as there is a thought that eventually you will get married. Men will work harder with chores, if they believe they will be marring you someday.