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NEW invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

ronixo

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8/20/2006 12:00 AM

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I'm arranging the bridal shower for my sister in law, and she prefers money in lieu of gifts and will not be registered anywhere.

How can I word this information on the invitation so she doesn't receives gifts, but checks instead?

Thank you!
 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

daniebc16

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8/4/2007 2:45 PM

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I don't know...Honestly, half the fun of a bridal shower is the gift giving...I understand what she means, but I think it is a bit weird...and I would be kind of of annoyed if I recieved an invitation that said "money only please." With that said, if it is what she really wants, I am not sure of the proper etiquite...
 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

snowcat

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to be perfectly honest (i don't want to offend you or your sis) but that is considered very bad etiquette- it is rude to "request" money from anyone, most people would be offended with that.

Maybe she can register for her honeymoon instead? that way she won't be getting "stuff" but $$ will go to her trip?

 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

misshealey1974

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There is no way to do this without offending everyone..I would be livid if I got an invitation like this. Why are you even giving her a shower if she doesn't want gifts, the point of a shower is to 'shower' the bride with things needed for the marriage!




 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

Captsarkasm

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to be honest with you....I think I would leave any type of monetary request off the invite. If your FSIL would like $$ instead of gifts, she should tell her friends and family herself. It is going to make you look bad b/c you guys are the ones doing the invites. To be completely honest with you.....just because i'm very sarcastic and would find this a little "nervy"....I would get the biggest gift I could find and bring that instead of money..... just to annoy her..... Mean, I know....but so is basically saying "i just want your money....not your thoughful gifts"
 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

PrincessJen

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Honestly, I don't think there is a way to include that type of information on an invitation without it being rude. If people call & inquire about a registry then tell them she's not registered. They MAY get the hint & decide to give cash.
 
 
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futrmrsblt

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tell her to register at bed bath and beyond.. you can return things against ur registry for cash.. that way peopel can enjoy giving, not feel imposed upon and she gets her cash!
 
 
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AeroJenn

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Posted by misshealey1974

There is no way to do this without offending everyone..I would be livid if I got an invitation like this. Why are you even giving her a shower if she doesn't want gifts, the point of a shower is to 'shower' the bride with things needed for the marriage!







I agree. Its very bad etiquette to even mention gifts in an invitation, but even worse to request "monetary" gifts. If i got an invitation stating anything remotely close to that, I'd probably throw it out.
Also agreed -- the whole point of a shower is to get gifts and the majority of time spent at a shower is watching the bride open the gifts. If she doesnt want any gifts, she shouldnt have a shower IMO. Then its just like asking everyone for more money for no reason.

 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

faithandkevin

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Posted by Captsarkasm

but so is basically saying "i just want your money....not your thoughful gifts"



I agree - I think it's rude to ask for money.

 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

luvabul

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its kinda rude especially for a bridal shower
but i have received a few wedding invitations and at the bottom it states
"No Boxed Gifts please" - so maybe she can right that?
 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

JACK808

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I think if I received an invitation stating "no boxed gifts" I'd be tempted to get a gift that did indeed come in a box, open it up, and stick it in a bag!
 
 

MESSAGE EDITED4/14/2007 8:56:53 PM

POSTED 4/14/07 8:56 PM



Posted By

NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

AeroJenn

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Posted by JACK808

I think if I received an invitation stating "no boxed gifts" I'd be tempted to get a gift that did indeed come in a box, open it up, and stick it in a bag!




I dont think even writing "no boxed gifts" is appropriate either. Writing anything about gifts at all is just plain tacky.

 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

misshealey1974

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Exactly! Even though you will obviously receive gifts at the shower and wedding, my family is the type that would tear me apart if I even mentioned gifts (not that I would)...BTW whatever happened to the original poster?




 
 
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Espo22

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Sorry I have to agree with everybody...First of all you never mention any gifts period...The reason why somebody else hosts a shower for you is because if you host it yourself its in bad taste because its like you're asking for gifts. Same reason why you never add a registry to anything you are throwing yourself, when someone else throws it for you then its ok to put the persons registry on the invite. You can't tell somebody to give money instead of a gift, first of all this is what a bridal shower is, people will give money at the wedding and to try and ask again for money is just wrong...I agree with what others said, then dont have a shower because this is the point of the bridal shower, I NEVER heard of anything but household gifts for the bridal shower.

Honestly, if I ever got a bridal shower invite that said anything about monetary gifts, i would think its in poor taste and i wouldn't do it.
 
 
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Pencils

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Posted by ronixo
How can I word this information on the invitation so she doesn't receives gifts, but checks instead?



I think if you worded an invitation like that you're going to get mostly "no" for RSVPs. The point of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. It's not a dollar dance.

 
 
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NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

misshealey1974

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Posted by Pencils

Posted by ronixo
How can I word this information on the invitation so she doesn't receives gifts, but checks instead?



I think if you worded an invitation like that you're going to get mostly "no" for RSVPs. The point of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. It's not a dollar dance.





LOL "its not a dollar dance"

 
 
Posted By

NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

the future mrs m

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that is as tacky as an invitation that states "cash bar"
(my sister did that) eek.

i wish there were a way to just get cash and no gifts but i could never display such poor etiquette.
 
 

MESSAGE EDITED4/14/2007 9:21:47 PM

POSTED 4/14/07 9:21 PM



Posted By

NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

betiboop7

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i think that sounds alittle tacky..usually the shower is spent opening presents the whole time...What about if they register for an awesome honeymoon??
 
 
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LoveisBliss

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9/6/2008 3:00 PM

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I agree with everyone else... Your guests will probably be very offended if they received an invitation that said cash only... The whole point of the bridal shower is the opening of the gifts... and all the "ooohs" and "aahhs"... (and making those ribbon and bow bouquets/hats for the bride to parade in )

I've seen elderly guests sometimes bring cash envelopes to bridal showers.. only because it would be harder for them to get to the stores or go online to purchase gifts off the registry... so maybe you could just invite the older crowd lol
 
 

MESSAGE EDITED4/15/2007 3:20:44 AM

POSTED 4/15/07 3:18 AM



Posted By

NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

Kara and Todd

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Posted by misshealey1974

There is no way to do this without offending everyone..I would be livid if I got an invitation like this. Why are you even giving her a shower if she doesn't want gifts, the point of a shower is to 'shower' the bride with things needed for the marriage!







Totally agree. If she doesn't plan to register and only wants money, a shower isn't appropriate.

I'd find it incredibly, incredibly rude to get such an invitation - and I certainly wouldn't go to the shower. (ETA and I'd definitely not be sending a present - which I ALWAYS do when I can't make a shower)

The whole idea is just really in bad taste.

 
 

MESSAGE EDITED4/15/2007 10:21:17 AM

POSTED 4/15/07 10:20 AM



Posted By

NEW Re: invitation wording for money in lieu of gifts

Kara and Todd

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Posted by JACK808

I think if I received an invitation stating "no boxed gifts" I'd be tempted to get a gift that did indeed come in a box, open it up, and stick it in a bag!



If I ever receive an invite that says that, I'm sending a boxed gift... and I always give $.

 
 
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ksl268

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11/23/2007 4:00 PM

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IMO out right asking for $$$ is tacky.
 
 
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Summer07Bride

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My advice is do not write on the invite that you want cash. Instead, have the bridal party and close friends pass around by work of mouth that she would prefer money due to financial constraints or what not. I think this is not as tacky. The honeymoon registry is also a good idea.
 
 
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lacey&mark

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yeah, theres really no way around this one. its just rude to ask for cash instead of gifts for anything. i would recommend a honeymoon registry and registering for some stuff at bed bath and beyond. people are going to get her gifts, no matter what it says, so she might as well register and get stuff she needs or can return for cash if she insists.
 
 
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NY031978

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Posted by futrmrsblt

tell her to register at bed bath and beyond.. you can return things against ur registry for cash.. that way peopel can enjoy giving, not feel imposed upon and she gets her cash!




Thats exactly what i was gonn say!!!!

 
 
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