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should you send a gift if you cannot attend the shower?

yes always
45 91.84%
no you don't
4 8.16%
this is news to me
0 0.00%
Posted By

NEW should you send a gift if you can't attend shower?

aliwnec10

aliwnec10

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9/05

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WEDDING DATE
10/7/2006 5:30 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
Gurneys Inn in Montauk

Okay ladies... i have another question for you all.

If you cannot attend a wedding shower, should you still send a gift?

I always have, but a few of my friends from college weren't aware of this 'rule.' They thought you only had to get a gift if you were going. Is this true?
 
 
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werock0709

werock0709

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5/6/2007 6:30 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
SandCastle

I always send or drop off a gift. Just my style.
 
 
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dianadrw

dianadrw

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5/27/2007 12:00 PM

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The North Ritz Club

Posted by werock0709

I always send or drop off a gift. Just my style.



Ditto for me.

 
 
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SPITSBRIDE

SPITSBRIDE

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11/26/2005 12:00 AM

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Yes, definitely.
 
 
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pupidda122505

pupidda122505

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7/7/2007 2:00 PM

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booked!

Posted by dianadrw

Posted by werock0709

I always send or drop off a gift. Just my style.



Ditto for me.




I agree. It's the same thing as sending a gift even if u can't make the wedding. It might be a smaller gift since you're not going but it's still appropriate to send something.

 
 
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Mrs. Powell

Mrs. Powell

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9/4/2005 12:00 AM

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Definitely yes.
 
 
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Katie&Chris2006

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11/18/2006 10:30 AM

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Watermill - A+

i always do. i think it's just a nice gesture and a way for the person to know that you really wish you could have been there.
 
 
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soon2bmrsdunn

soon2bmrsdunn

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9/8/2007 1:00 PM

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Villa Lombardi's - A+

Posted by dianadrw

Posted by werock0709

I always send or drop off a gift. Just my style.



Ditto for me.


Me too!

 
 
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KimberlyBride

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10/15/2005 1:00 PM

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Yes definitely!
 
 
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SuzBride

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7/8/2006 11:30 AM

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Land's End :) 11!

I dont think you HAVE to give a gift if you aren't attending, I always do though. Just because I can't make the shower, I still want the new couple to have something from me for their new home/life together!
 
 
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aliwnec10

aliwnec10

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10/7/2006 5:30 PM

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Gurneys Inn in Montauk

well someone put NO... so i'm curious to anyone's opinion who doesn't think it's necessary.

I mean quite a few of my friends (from Ma & Vt) didn't think it was necessary and it didn't even occur to them... so there must be quite a few people who don't send gifts.
 
 

MESSAGE EDITED1/19/2006 9:30:21 AM

POSTED 1/19/06 9:28 AM



Posted By

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Thumballina

Thumballina

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WEDDING DATE
11/24/2006 7:00 PM

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Westbury Manor

I always send something if I can't attend...I would feel rude if I didn't...but thats just me
 
 
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Mayflower

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5/27/2006 1:00 PM

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Booked

Posted by Katie&Chris2006

i always do. i think it's just a nice gesture and a way for the person to know that you really wish you could have been there.



exactly.

 
 
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MissingTheBGene

MissingTheBGene

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WEDDING DATE
6/2/2006 3:00 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
The Woodlands

It depends on who the person is. Recently, I was invited to a shower that I didn't even know the bride. I was asked at another function, did not receive an actual invite and they didn't even have my name, I was "FI's fiance". I wasn't able to attend, and I did not send a gift.

If it's someone I know, then yes, I would send a gift.

 
 

MESSAGE EDITED1/19/2006 9:36:15 AM

POSTED 1/19/06 9:34 AM



Posted By

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hocus

hocus

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9/4/2005 5:30 PM

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You don't have to. I think it if you are close to someone it is a nice gesture, but not required.
 
 
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Fairytale

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7/2/2006 12:00 AM

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I always do also.
 
 

MESSAGE EDITED1/19/2006 10:12:42 AM

POSTED 1/19/06 10:12 AM



Posted By

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nygirl77

nygirl77

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5/28/2006 11:45 AM

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Fox Hollow

Posted by hocus

You don't have to. I think it if you are close to someone it is a nice gesture, but not required.



I feel this way too. However, I do usually send a gift if I can't attend.

 
 
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smara

smara

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WEDDING DATE
8/26/2006 1:30 PM

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Party's Over: Who Cares!! :-(

You aren't required, but it is nice to send something..
 
 
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thumper9878

thumper9878

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WEDDING DATE
9/21/2007 7:00 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
Larkfield Manor, Manor Room

I always do if I can't attend. My style too. I guess because they invited me, I thought it would still be nice to send something.
 
 
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PrincessRose

PrincessRose

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9/03

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WEDDING DATE
8/29/2004 11:30 AM

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Chateau Briand

I'm torn on this. I always do send a gift if I can't make the shower. However, I had a friend not come to my shower because she couldn't afford the train ticket and a gift. A week later, her gift arrives - it's something very useful, but I know that the cost of buying and shipping it was equal to the cost of the train ticket she couldn't have afforded. If it had been up to me, I would've told her to forego the gift and buy the train ticket instead. Her being at my shower would've meant more to me.
 
 
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angel77

angel77

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1/06

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WEDDING DATE
9/30/2006 6:30 PM

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Commack

Posted by MissingTheBGene

It depends on who the person is. Recently, I was invited to a shower that I didn't even know the bride. I was asked at another function, did not receive an actual invite and they didn't even have my name, I was "FI's fiance". I wasn't able to attend, and I did not send a gift.

If it's someone I know, then yes, I would send a gift.




I agree, obviously if it is a close friend or family member you definitely have to but if you are invited to someone's that you barely know then I would think you wouldn't have to.

 
 
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BlondeJD

BlondeJD

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1/1/2003 12:00 AM

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For me, it depends on how close I am to the person.
 
 
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tann22

tann22

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WEDDING DATE
10/21/2005 6:00 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
Westbury Manor




definitely.
 
 
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natiepie1028

natiepie1028

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12/04

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WEDDING DATE
3/18/2006 1:00 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
North Ritz Club

I'll be honest. Up until a few years ago, i never knew you had to send a gift. I was really never big on etiquette so i never knew. But now I do give gifts. It a nice gesture to do so. IMO
 
 
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ETAB

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6/23/2007 3:00 PM

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Posted by aliwnec10

well someone put NO... so i'm curious to anyone's opinion who doesn't think it's necessary.

I mean quite a few of my friends (from Ma & Vt) didn't think it was necessary and it didn't even occur to them... so there must be quite a few people who don't send gifts.



I also think people who arent from the tristate area have a different mentality when it comes to weddings. i was in a wedding in Virginia and one of the bridesmaid gave $25.00 as a gift!!! NY weddings are extremely different.

 
 
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