Brides Helping Brides ™ - sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

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sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

Dom n Nic Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:27 AM+

Dom n Nic MEMBER SINCE: 10/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3589 WEDDING DATE: Aug 30, 2012

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:27 AM

sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

that my fbil's wife really does not want to be in the wedding because she feels she is too old ....

ok fine but then they tell me i should ask her anyway-and let her make the choice

but if they are telling me that she does not want to be in it. i really dont want to ask her and put her on the spot where she HAS TO SAY YES..

what do i do ????

MrsJ Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:29 AM+

MrsJ MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2089 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:29 AM

Re: sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

Ask her yourself but let her know she doesnt have to be in the wedding party and if she is more comfortable participating in the wedding another way (maybe a reader) that is ok with you too...

Dom n Nic Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:31 AM+

Dom n Nic MEMBER SINCE: 10/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3589 WEDDING DATE: Aug 30, 2012

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:31 AM

Re: sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

yeah i can do that
i would just hate to put
her on the spot -and i know if i ask her she will not say no.

ahhhh
i hate this part lol

Marcie Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:32 AM+

Marcie MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1911 WEDDING DATE: Oct 22, 2004

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:32 AM

Re: sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

Who keeps telling you that she doesn't?
I am think I would still ask - and let her know that you wanted her to be in the bridal party that is why you are asking. She might get offended if you are thinking of asking and people around her are telling her that you are thinking of asking and then you don't.
I hope that made sense.

David'sbride Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:33 AM+

David'sbride MEMBER SINCE: 7/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3412 WEDDING DATE: Jul 04, 2005

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:33 AM

Re: sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

I've had a similar experience with inviting people to family functions from OOT. They know they are not going to come and I know it but if I don't invite them and give them the option to say no I know they will be steamed about it. Sometimes you can't win either way.

I would ask her. It's flattering just to be asked.

Dom n Nic Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:36 AM+

Dom n Nic MEMBER SINCE: 10/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3589 WEDDING DATE: Aug 30, 2012

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:36 AM

Re: sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

Posted by Marcie

Who keeps telling you that she doesn't?
I am think I would still ask - and let her know that you wanted her to be in the bridal party that is why you are asking. She might get offended if you are thinking of asking and people around her are telling her that you are thinking of asking and then you don't.
I hope that made sense.

my fmil, fh and fsil lolol
they said she has told them
she is not too old to be in it i just think she feels she is older then my friends thats why (which she is but who cares)

Backinneyork Posted: Mar 10, 2005 12:09 PM+

Backinneyork MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3985 WEDDING DATE: Oct 01, 2005

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 12:09 PM

Re: sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

I would just ask her to be a reader and don't even bring up the topic of being a BM.

jesslangen Posted: Mar 10, 2005 12:14 PM+

jesslangen MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3156 WEDDING DATE: Sep 17, 2005

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 12:14 PM

Re: sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

Just talk to her about it and see how she feels. If it makes her feel better, my sister made our grandma a BM in her wedding 4 years ago!! :

newnybride2be Posted: Mar 10, 2005 12:55 PM+

newnybride2be MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 942 WEDDING DATE: Aug 26, 2006

Posted: Mar 10, 2005 12:55 PM

Re: sooooo having a convo with the inlaws they told me ...

just ask her because later on you just might find out that she really wanted to be in it and the others just told you what they believed. It is always better to hear it from the person rather through various others.