Communication...how important..blah blah

Ok, i need HONEST answers from you ladies!. A friend of mine posted on FB...

'ATTENTION ALL LADIES: On a scale from 1-10, how important is communication in a relationship? (1 is the lowest/10 the highest)'

Now...we all know the obvious answer is the one that has been drilled into our head since we could understand people talking...or watch a television...or read a romance book. '10'. Everything you hear about relationships always stressed that communication is key..blah blah blah. Every single person answered 10...but me.

I said '9....I have found that I prefer to keep some things to myself. Maybe I am selfish that way :)'

Apparently...people dont agree with me..not in public anyway. I got 2 private messages from her friends who are people I dont know asking me 'why not 10', 'it should be 10'. They're basically saying my marriage is doomed (without saying it) Really? 9 suits me. I dont NEED to tell him everything.

Just wondering what you ladies think!

Re: Communication...how important..blah blah

I think communication is important in that I need to know we are able to tell each other when something is wrong and do so in a way thats adult and calm and non vindictive.

When that is the definition I absolutely give it a 10. Without that ability there's no way you'll survive in a marriage.

But to me...communication doesn't mean that I DO tell him everything...just that I feel comfortable doing that and he feels the same way.

Re: Communication...how important..blah blah

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Posted by MikesBride2B

I think communication is important in that I need to know we are able to tell each other when something is wrong and do so in a way thats adult and calm and non vindictive.

When that is the definition I absolutely give it a 10. Without that ability there's no way you'll survive in a marriage.

But to me...communication doesn't mean that I DO tell him everything...just that I feel comfortable doing that and he feels the same way.

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I gotcha. Maybe I am misundertanding the way she asked the question. I do believe its super important. if I wasn't able to be honest with him or talk to him, we'd kill each other. We have been best friends for 10 years, so we have the communcation thing down. I guess what I meant was that I do like to have my privacy sometimes, and don't feel like I HAVE to tell him everything.

I guess there's different types of communcation...not just the act of communicating with one another. Does that make sense? Maybe I am over tired lol

Re: Communication...how important..blah blah

I totally understand your rationale for the 9. Honestly who has time to talk about EVERYTHING?

and there are little things that are just not worth the 'communication' aka FIGHT sometimes. Whatever they may be.

With regards to a relationship, yeah obviously communication is key. But that's not to say little things here and there and maybe things more relevant to your self and your life slip through the cracks.

Re: Communication...how important..blah blah

I agree with you... a 9 works for me. I fi rmly believe that good communication is super important in any relationship, but yes.. there are things I will keep to my self.

Does he need to know how much i spent on those shoes? Do I need to know he scrached his a s s three times today? Nah.

So long as we both know we can talk about anything, (and we do).. doesn't mean we have to talk about everything...

Re: Communication...how important..blah blah

I get what you're saying, but I still feel like communication should be a 10. But I'm like you, I don't tell my DH everything. Like when someone at work was hitting on me nonstop (I handled the situation without telling DH because I know how angry he gets about things like that.) or if my friend tells me something. I don't feel the need to report it to DH. But I think that the withholding of information is also important and that's part of communication. I don't think communication is saying everything on your mind- I think it's knowing what to say, what not to say, how to say something, when to say something, etc. And I think they all contribute to making communication a 10 on a scale of importance.

Re: Communication...how important..blah blah

i agree with you that it's probably a 9-ish (i was thinking that before i read that you thought so).

it really depends on how you read the question though ... a 9 doesn't mean that you don't care about communicating ... 9 means it's important, but if it's not perfect, it's not the end of the world.